nightling is offline nightling Post #11  September 29,2009, 10:12am
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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Plan A. If you've decided to leave, then just say you care about her, but you feel the relationship isn't working and you want to start seeing other people. Then stick to it. Don't do this when you're angry. Do it calmly. Do it in person.

Plan B. If you haven't decided yet, then have a difficult conversation with her. Talk about the things that are bothering you and let her know it needs to change in order for you to be happy in the relationship. Don't threaten to leave, just try to set some clear expectations of what you want in the relationship. Give her a chance to address your concerns. Don't do this when you're angry. Make it as neutral a conversation as you can.

If the destructive behaviors continue and she's not really making any effort to respect your needs, then it's back to Plan A.

Or you could listen to the song, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #12  September 29,2009, 3:54pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Cold turkey. It's the only way to rid your system of any addiction.

It will hurt and make you feel desperate at times but you two can't sort it out so you have to move on. I've always said that the biggest tragedy in life isn't not being loved, it's being loved and it still not being enough.

I did it a year ago. Severed all contact. I'm not emotionally clear of it yet but I'm much more capable of protecting myself and much more content if I'm honest with myself. I miss the intoxicating highs but the lows were a price not worth paying.

Good luck.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #13  September 29,2009, 6:38pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Cold turkey. It's the only way to rid your system of any addiction.

It will hurt and make you feel desperate at times but you two can't sort it out so you have to move on. I've always said that the biggest tragedy in life isn't not being loved, it's being loved and it still not being enough.

I did it a year ago. Severed all contact. I'm not emotionally clear of it yet but I'm much more capable of protecting myself and much more content if I'm honest with myself. I miss the intoxicating highs but the lows were a price not worth paying.

Good luck.
SEE! Trixie listens to the dog!

Cold turkey!

"If only everyone listened to me," said the dog.

Either that, or, "I have to outside and pee."


- Saul
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #14  September 29,2009, 6:39pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Cold turkey. It's the only way to rid your system of any addiction.

It will hurt and make you feel desperate at times but you two can't sort it out so you have to move on. I've always said that the biggest tragedy in life isn't not being loved, it's being loved and it still not being enough.

I did it a year ago. Severed all contact. I'm not emotionally clear of it yet but I'm much more capable of protecting myself and much more content if I'm honest with myself. I miss the intoxicating highs but the lows were a price not worth paying.

Good luck.
SEE! Trixie listens to the dog!

Cold turkey!

"If only everyone listened to me," said the dog.

Either that, or, "I have to outside and pe.e."


- Saul
 
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ohiossteacher is offline ohiossteacher Post #15  September 29,2009, 8:13pm
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trollbanger wrote :
Hello, all.

How do you leave someone you're addicted to?
Are you willing to get help and admit that you have an addiction? If you are then truthfully the only way to kick an addiction is to go cold turkey like the dog said... Sorry bud, but after reading your ur posts I had to say it.
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #16  September 29,2009, 8:32pm
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trollbanger wrote :
Rain, geography is based on my child. I must stay put. But, just in case, can you please email me your island, as I may need the address soon. Please make a bunk for me in your hut.

Saul, Strange advice to talk with a dog.

Beloved, Barbie, thank you for showing me your hearts.

Kevin, good advice that I should not base my highs on other people.

Perhaps the question I should ask myself is this: Do I want to quit my addiction?

Perhaps I should ask myself also: How much destruction must first occur, before I am ready to quit?

This will not get better with time.
Counselor: someone who gives advice. If your counselor isn't counseling you, fire him or her and get one who will. Even Freud knew there are times to stop listening and interpret. A counselor does this, and advises.

How much destruction? Either a) only you know that, or b) only your Higher Power knows it. In the twelve step programs, they talk about having to hit rock bottom before you can really let go and acknowledge your powerlessness. I got this feeling you're not ready to be powerless.

Who, and what, would you be without this obstacle in your life? Don't know why, but this seems to be the question I want to ask you. If this pain and drama weren't in your life, who could you be? What could your life be like?

I don't mean to be cruel, but having been there...you better find the means of pulling the plug. Soon. The scars don't always fully heal.

Sending up good hope as best as I know how.
Namaste.
 
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trollbanger is offline trollbanger Post #17  September 30,2009, 8:03am

Me no likey Trolls

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Cold turkey, with a kind conversation. Please rub your dog's belly for me, as he/she has good advice. Please rub all your bellies.

What could my life be without this pain and drama? Fuller in some ways, empty in others. This is the trade-off.

Who would I be? I would be me, as I am now.

Shall I make excuses as to why I should not end our relationship, tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, why now is a bad time?

I have ended this twice before, and twice we drifted back together. Never have we fully ended our addiction to one another.

There is love between us, and a deep groove of common ground for us to stand upon, but we stand in the rain that never stops.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #18  September 30,2009, 2:42pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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trollbanger wrote :
Cold turkey, with a kind conversation. Please rub your dog's belly for me, as he/she has good advice. Please rub all your bellies.

What could my life be without this pain and drama? Fuller in some ways, empty in others. This is the trade-off.

Who would I be? I would be me, as I am now.

Shall I make excuses as to why I should not end our relationship, tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, why now is a bad time?

I have ended this twice before, and twice we drifted back together. Never have we fully ended our addiction to one another.

There is love between us, and a deep groove of common ground for us to stand upon, but we stand in the rain that never stops.
Hell honey, if it was easy to stop it wouldn't be an addiction, now would it?
 
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ohiossteacher is offline ohiossteacher Post #19  September 30,2009, 5:55pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
Hell honey, if it was easy to stop it wouldn't be an addiction, now would it?
So agreed... My ex called me today and I had to stay strong. OP, find a new addiction. Sometimes, it works... Also, if she is on your FB, Myspace or Twitter, get rid of her. Break it off completely... Heck my ex called me today about a bill, but you know being addicted to her, I thought it was something else. I made sure that I was strong and started a new hobby today...
 
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Lanc is offline Lanc Post #20  October 1,2009, 10:25pm
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trollbanger wrote :
Hello, all.

How do you leave someone you're addicted to?
Well, as I told another guy, you already have smarts & intelligence for recognizing this pattern for what it is.

Now is time for pure testosterone. Cowboy up.

Set a date in the very near future to make the announcement, and be uncompromising. No matter how much she screams, cries, whatever, start packing. Keep packing & call a moving company when near done.

Move & don't look back. There's a whole world of goodness out there.
 
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