keeping him as a friend? (a bit long)

I met a man online last year who I fell for... hard. We never met, though we spent several weeks exchanging very lengthy emails. We also spent many MANY hours on the phone together. I truly thought he might be the man for me - as we had so much in common, and I've never felt so comfortable with any man before. Initially he was the one pursuing me, but later when I started to get a bit clingy, he ended things. (He claimed that he was feeling pressured by me, and that he thought we had an incompatibility on whether to have kids, etc. I also suspect he had an issue with my weight - as he is very fit and was attracted to my younger pictures when I was slimmer, but not as attracted to me being overweight.) I was deeply hurt, and felt a sense of loss almost as strong as a previous relationship breakup. Maybe I had developed feelings for a fantasy, but it certainly felt very genuine to me.

I didn't contact him again for over a year. He was going through a divorce, and I thought he should deal with that first. Deep down, I expected him to contact me later after the divorce was final - as I truly believed he and I had something special. However, the communication from him never came. I held on to the hope for over a year to hear from him. I finally contacted him 2 weeks ago on Facebook (we are not friends on there, but I knew he had a profile). I sent him a friendly note, and he wrote me back a friendly note the next day. He said his divorce was finalized. However, he mentioned that he is currently seeing another woman and has been for the last 6 months.

Hearing that he is with someone else hit me hard, but I am okay now. In my mind, the door to him is permanently closed - since he chose to be with someone else instead of coming back to me. I wrote him back and told him that I was happy for him that he found someone compatible with him. In the note, I mentioned a few other pleasantries (keeping things friendly) and basically left it at that. There was never any mention of my feelings for him or our past communication at all.

I think I'm ready to move on with my life now and stop wasting time thinking about him. However, the issue is that he sent me a friend request on Facebook. I'm not sure whether to accept or not. Maybe he send me a FR simply as a courtesy, since I had sent him a message on Facebook. I don't know if he truly wants to be friends or not. Part of me feels like the nice thing to do would be to simply accept him (though I'd make it a point not to keep checking his Facebook page, as I don't want to torture myself). I could simply accept him and stay away from his page. However, I struggle because he never really treated me that well - he might have been nearly everything I was looking for in a partner, but he didn't see the same in me. He was always extremely polite and courteous and friendly to me; however once he had a change of heart about me, he seemed rather detached and disinterested.

Is it worth to accept his friendship request? I don't want him to think I have issues for keeping him on hold. I want to handle things as a mature compassionate adult... not childishly. At the same time, I feel truly hurt for the way he treated me, and in order for us to really be friends someday - I think a heartfelt apology would be in order, as well as a genuine effort from his side. He was emotionally unavailable when he met me, and I wish he just understood how much his 180 degree change of heart hurt me. Last year he never talked to me about anything I might have done to push him away - he simply went from pursuing me to running away - which was completely hurtful. Towards the end of my contact with him last year, everything was so one sided. I am not willing to put in any more one-sided effort. I think right now it's best for me to not accept his friend request, since I need to make sure I am fully over him first. I just wonder if I should keep his friend request there to accept at a later date. I truly liked him, but he took me forgranted. I consider myself to be a genuinely nice person, in that I still want to be kind to him, and I am happy he found someone compatible with him. However, I don't want to be a doormat or a martyr. I'm just wondering what the best course of action is here. Would you all keep someone as a friend who has a million interests in common with you, who is intelligent, shares your sense of humor, profession, life goals and life style... but never took responsibility for his behavior that caused you pain?

Sorry to be so emphatic...but I've been there done that, and girl...it IS NOT WORTH THE PAIN. I know its cliche, but you deserve better...everyone deserves to have someone who thinks they are worth the fight. Honestly truly...PLEASE, don't add him. Good Luck!!

Why do you want to keep memories of this guy around? It seems self-defeating to me.