Simple question. Simple answers please.


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Wolfe813 is offline Wolfe813 Post #1  September 24,2009, 3:12am
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Is it so wrong to want everything of a woman? I swear, from what I've seen... Women want everything of a man. I want that in return. Am I wrong to want this?

I want to give myself over to someone who has given their self over to me.

What's wrong with this? Why can't I find this?
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #2  September 24,2009, 3:40am
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Perhaps you are impatient.

You need to give yourself to her before she gives herself to you... this is why men generally make the first moves, usually pick up the tab, usually take the rejection risk.

A woman will give herself to you once she feels she knows you, can trust you, can rely on you and knows you are committed to her.

This all takes time, lots of time.
Last edited by Rainfallgirl; September 24,2009 at 3:44am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  September 24,2009, 4:05am
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Are you wrong in this.....well...sort of....
In fairy tales people want and get everything - in reality people compromise on a lot of things. Also, in healthy relationships people do not look to their SO to be the single source of everything in their life.
 
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Rainfallgirl is offline Rainfallgirl Post #4  September 24,2009, 6:18am
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DancingFool wrote :
Are you wrong in this.....well...sort of....
In fairy tales people want and get everything - in reality people compromise on a lot of things. Also, in healthy relationships people do not look to their SO to be the single source of everything in their life.

This is very true... what makes love delicious in real life is the precarious nature of it and the realization that you love someone, imperfections and all, and they love you back the same way with all your imperfections.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  September 24,2009, 6:57am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Rainfallgirl wrote :
This is very true... what makes love delicious in real life is the precarious nature of it and the realization that you love someone, imperfections and all, and they love you back the same way with all your imperfections.
Imperfections? What imperfections?
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #6  September 24,2009, 7:23am

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Wolfe813 wrote :
Is it so wrong to want everything of a woman? I swear, from what I've seen... Women want everything of a man. I want that in return. Am I wrong to want this?

I want to give myself over to someone who has given their self over to me.

What's wrong with this? Why can't I find this?
It seems that you want to go from step #1. to step #5 or 6. without paying your dues, which are called; "just desserts".
In order to appreciate love, lust, emotional love, you must endure "pain and suffering" which makes you appreciates a good woman's love all that more. So what you want to do is skip the trip that gets you there! Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200.00 First start by trying to find the right girl, 2nd. she breaks your heart and then you write to the ER board asking for advise so what are you doing here?

Harvey7.
 
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Jacquesne is offline Jacquesne Post #7  September 24,2009, 8:01am
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That's not a very simple question. So I have a couple of questions for you.

What do you mean by "want everything of a woman"? What do you mean by 'everything'? Her car keys? Her love? Her clothes? Her free will? What exactly are you looking for here?

What do you mean by "women want everything of a man?" What exactly are they taking? Are you saying that women are looking for the perfect guy and you're looking for the perfect woman in return? I honestly don't understand what you're looking for here.

"Giving of yourself" and receiving that in return is not an instantaneous process. It takes time to build that level of trust and intimacy. And all healthy relationships have some degree of autonomy; while you work together you are still two people. No relationship is without conflict, differences, and problems. If that's what you're looking for then your simple is answer is no, you're not going to find that anywhere.

You shouldn't be looking for the perfect mate. You should be looking for the mate who is willing to work with you regardless of both of your faults. One of my favorite marriage quotes is "No marriage is perfect because you're in it!"

That doesn't mean jump on the first opportunity you get and don't be discerning. It means that if you're writing someone off every time you see a flaw you're probably on the wrong track.

Sorry I can't give you a simple answer. What you asked is not really a simple question. There are too many unknown variables. It's like saying "I have a simple question, and I want a simple answer...What is love?" You can't just give a simple answer to that. It doesn't exist.

I hope you find what you're looking for. Just be sure that what you're looking for exists and is not a fantasy!

Jacquesne
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #8  September 24,2009, 9:26am
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Jacquesne wrote :
That's not a very simple question. So I have a couple of questions for you.

What do you mean by "want everything of a woman"? What do you mean by 'everything'? Her car keys? Her love? Her clothes? Her free will? What exactly are you looking for here?

What do you mean by "women want everything of a man?" What exactly are they taking? Are you saying that women are looking for the perfect guy and you're looking for the perfect woman in return? I honestly don't understand what you're looking for here.

"Giving of yourself" and receiving that in return is not an instantaneous process. It takes time to build that level of trust and intimacy. And all healthy relationships have some degree of autonomy; while you work together you are still two people. No relationship is without conflict, differences, and problems. If that's what you're looking for then your simple is answer is no, you're not going to find that anywhere.

You shouldn't be looking for the perfect mate. You should be looking for the mate who is willing to work with you regardless of both of your faults. One of my favorite marriage quotes is "No marriage is perfect because you're in it!"

That doesn't mean jump on the first opportunity you get and don't be discerning. It means that if you're writing someone off every time you see a flaw you're probably on the wrong track.

Sorry I can't give you a simple answer. What you asked is not really a simple question. There are too many unknown variables. It's like saying "I have a simple question, and I want a simple answer...What is love?" You can't just give a simple answer to that. It doesn't exist.

I hope you find what you're looking for. Just be sure that what you're looking for exists and is not a fantasy!

Jacquesne
I agree, NOT simple at all......!
 
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SoNotRight is offline SoNotRight Post #9  September 24,2009, 9:49am
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Wow, this thread is very interesting. And I'd like to toss in my two cents...

I wonder if he has given his "all" to a woman? I would love to find that man one day whom I can say I give my "all" to, but before that happens he will have to be learning how to give me his "all" in return.

And I totally agree with the idea that it is a process and takes time to reach that with someone. And I also believe that the phrase "you complete me" is baloney. We are already complete, or at least should be, and what we should really aim for is someone that you can say "You compliment me and together we made an unbreakable team." The day I can say that confidently then I'll know I have found the man to whom I will gladly give my "all" to.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #10  September 24,2009, 10:20am
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o Is it so wrong to want everything of a woman? Nope. Want away.

o Am I wrong to want this? Nope. I think most people want everything in their partner.

o What's wrong with this? Nothing. It's natural to ~want~ an ideal mate. We all want an ideal mate.

o Why can't I find this? Same reason you can't get that pot o'gold at the end of the rainbow. No matter how much you ~want~ some things, they simply do not exist.

I mean, right now, I really, really ~want~ some ice cream. Nothing wrong with that desire. But I'm at work, my wallet's in the car, and the cafeteria closes in ten minutes.

Say Lah Vee, right. But I'm not gonna get mad at the world because I can't find my ice cream.

And, by ice cream, of course, I mean beer. It's a metaphor.


- Saul
 
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