Please don't forget the relationship crusher of not trying to understand the other person - an agenda of any kind, especially a secret one, can load pressure in that doesn't need to be there. So many women I have met expect, and some even demand, that a man have experience, and are unwilling to acknowledge that he may not have had a good male role model and just doesn't know some things. Pressure applied in this arena can be very hurtful to guys and snapping the fingers doesn't work, and yelling is probably the worst thing a woman can do to a man. Sure, be angry, but the outcome still depends on your input. There was an article on an Australian news/current affairs program that discussed "who wears the pants in your relationship" and the female presenter sure has some problems accepting she might need to consider those around her differently - http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/yaun...3&ch=&src=y7tv
So many women I have met expect, and some even demand, that a man have experience, and are unwilling to acknowledge that he may not have had a good male role model and just doesn't know some things. Pressure applied in this arena can be very hurtful to guys and snapping the fingers doesn't work, and yelling is probably the worst thing a woman can do to a man.
I have found the best way to get a man to do something that needs to be done is to ask nicely, and then thank him when he does it. If he doesn't do it, either do it yourself or leave it undone, and whatever happens happens. Simple, but effective.
Yelling, nagging and threatening only make him even more resolved that he's never going to do it in this lifetime.
#1 is by far the most common. Many women simply have unrealistic expectations. This is especially true of very beautiful women. They've been told since Day One that they should never "settle." So they remain on constant look-out for Mr. Perfect who in reality does not exist -- overlooking perfectly great guys who would make them very happy in the process. Then, to complete the circle, they complain about the lack of "good guys....why are all the good ones taken?" It's a sad, self-fulfilling prophecy, a recipe for unnecessary loneliness.
no woman wakes up in the morning going "i want to make that man do my bidding, mwahaha!"
but that's not the only way to desire control. fussing to yourself about why he doesn't do something is desire for control. wishing he'd tell you what's on his mind or how he's feeling, that's desire for control. a lot of things women do for men, baking cookies or whatever, that's controlling.
if you don't see how, think about it some more.
and women are far more circumspect than men. a good punch-up will not clear the air for us.
no woman wakes up in the morning going "i want to make that man do my bidding, mwahaha!"
but that's not the only way to desire control. fussing to yourself about why he doesn't do something is desire for control. wishing he'd tell you what's on his mind or how he's feeling, that's desire for control. a lot of things women do for men, baking cookies or whatever, that's controlling.
if you don't see how, think about it some more.
and women are far more circumspect than men. a good punch-up will not clear the air for us.
There goes our mystique.
Last edited by livenlearn; December 15,2009 at 1:12am.
Reason: too much salt water taffy
#1. You’ve refused to go out with a guy because he didn’t fit your perfect picture of Mr. Right.
and this:
#2. You’ve judged a guy based solely on looks, and ignored the fact that he had a great personality.
is far more characteristic of men than women.
and this is just completely out of touch:
#5. You’ve left a relationship because it was easier than telling him how you really felt.
i dont think that there is a woman that doesnt want to share (in an appropriate manner) how she feels. its just that most men take it as a criticism. men are often very poor communicators, yet women are expected to see through the klutzyness and get it in the spirit in which the statements are intended.
dont get me wrong, i am all for communicating in a way that a man can receive it, but most of instruction on communication that i have seen are simply a defense of men and the way they are and an admonition to women to not talk to him a certain way so he doesnt get put off by it.
Last edited by Nanette; December 15,2009 at 5:39am.
Re: Lillamb's post...I disagree...I know women who positively get their rocks off on controlling/dominating their significant others. They view dating and relationships as power struggles, and their objective is to grab (and hold onto) the power....that's what game-playing is all about.
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