Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships

Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships

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Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships


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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #21  September 26,2009, 12:21pm
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BuzWeaver wrote :
What I'm trying to distinguish is what is 'an equal'? I understand your perspective and its admirable, however as a male, innately I see an equal being someone retrospectively having similar qualities. Relationships are complex, however you can't completely exclude a sense of competitiveness.

Think of how often you hear the phrase "who wears the paints in that family". As innocently metaphoric as that may sound, inside we do kind of measure ourselves on 'who is in control'. If we are equal then there isn't a shot caller and who is going to overrule or compromise without feeling compromised as well as resentful?

The other element is individualism. I've often heard lately that the 'newer' causes of divorce are partly due to financial irresponsibility (old) and two people wanting to be individuals (new). So you have two participating people wanting autonomy and exclusions.
For me, I'm pretty old school. When things are 50/50 you get a stalemate. Being as old as dirt, I kind of like the guy to be the one a little more in charge but not to the point of controlling. That's the hard part.

But I think the whole "equal" issue is going to be different for everyone anyway. Individuals will base it on money, intelligence, education, family status or even physical strength. You just can't legislate what people are attracted to, and I've (mostly) given up trying. Is it unfair that a man may not want me because I'm more physical in my work and it might make him feel less masculine? Probably, but it's his choice, just as I would choose not to be with a man that I couldn't look up to in some way.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #22  September 26,2009, 1:42pm
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#1 is the big one imo especially with online dating. Read it, memorize it, and recite it every morning.

As for the subject of equality, it's overrated. But only because traditionally people think of equality in very generic terms such as socioeconomic status, religion, or education.

Sure I'm looking for an equal, but that means someone that has the same values and lifestyle as me. A woman can make the exact same amount of money as me and have the exact same IQ as me, but does that does mean I can live with her for the rest of my life happily? Maybe, maybe not, it's all irrelevant in the end. There's a littany of other things that will be the deciding factor.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #23  September 26,2009, 2:38pm
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I am looking for an equal in quality...as in quality of person.

IMO a person's identity has absolutely nothing to do with career, educattion, or socioeconomic class.

When I share a life with someone I am far less interested with what they do when i am not in their presence. Much more concerned with our shared time & experiences.

Honesty, intelligence, & respect are all a given in the scenario....& kindness.
 
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singleman4803 is offline singleman4803 Post #24  September 26,2009, 3:49pm
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w_elissa wrote :
Well, I don't know about all women, but myself and my girl friends can say that to control a guy is farthest from our minds. If I wanted to find a guy I could control, I'd look for a weaker person.
At the risk of being really rude, why do women always lie about the way they truly are? It's like women refuse to believe they have any negative qualities.

Every women I have known tries to control men. EVERY WOMEN THAT I HAVE KNOWN TRIES TO CONTROL MEN.

jeebus just admit it. Stop pretending you're a saint, get over yourselves.

Emotional control, crying, weepy eyes, pouty face, blah blah. Making you feel bad, sweet talking you, etc.

It's a part of a woman's natural makeup. Women were not born to be be upfront and blunt, using physical force. They have the abilities of manipulation and coercion. i.e. CONTROL.

Men take what they want, women get other people to give them it.
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #25  September 26,2009, 4:00pm
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singleman4803 wrote :
At the risk of being really rude, why do women always lie about the way they truly are? It's like women refuse to believe they have any negative qualities.

Every women I have known tries to control men. EVERY WOMEN THAT I HAVE KNOWN TRIES TO CONTROL MEN.

jeebus just admit it. Stop pretending you're a saint, get over yourselves.

Emotional control, crying, weepy eyes, pouty face, blah blah. Making you feel bad, sweet talking you, etc.

It's a part of a woman's natural makeup. Women were not born to be be upfront and blunt, using physical force. They have the abilities of manipulation and coercion. i.e. CONTROL.

Men take what they want, women get other people to give them it.
Really? Seriously?

You follow me around all day and that's what you see?

No, we're not all that way and if I waited for someone to give me something I would have nothing.

In my work I'm required to "be upfront and blunt, using physical force". That pittbull I have to subdue really couldn't care less whether I have a crying jag or not.

I don't attempt to get my way in a relationship by emotional manipulation, either. I'm not going to say I never cry. I'd be an emotional cripple if I didn't. But I tend to do it out of view of the man I'm dating. I don't cry so he'll feel bad and I'll get my way.

Please, please, PLEASE stop with the generalizations that All Women or All Men are a certain way. If this is all you have encountered, maybe you need to delve into a different dating pool, not condemn women and men you have never even met.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #26  September 26,2009, 11:48pm
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I have definitely observed women get way too judgemental and controlling too fast.

The negative emotions from past failures go through their mind and they lose it, and as a result lose me.

Unable to control their emotions early are by far the top way I have observed women blowing it.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #27  September 26,2009, 11:57pm
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Diann1950 wrote :
If you surrender your identity to someone else male/female then you won't make either your partner or you happy. One or the other will resent being controlled.
+1. I agree with this totally.

It really irks me when I am on a date and being myself with my swagger and she is getting upset because she cant control me. This seems to happen a lot lately, and they think I am actually being fooled or tricked by it.

My best advice for the control freak women is to date the younger guys. Younger men get manipulated easier and just want to go along with things and have fun.
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #28  September 27,2009, 12:41am
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bwr wrote :
I have definitely observed women get way too judgemental and controlling too fast.

The negative emotions from past failures go through their mind and they lose it, and as a result lose me.

Unable to control their emotions early are by far the top way I have observed women blowing it.
A keeper is going thru this right now on POF.
I find this very sad. both for him and for myself who don't roll that way.
 
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w_elissa is offline w_elissa Post #29  September 27,2009, 5:57am
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chawks64 wrote :
Really? Seriously?

You follow me around all day and that's what you see?

No, we're not all that way and if I waited for someone to give me something I would have nothing.

In my work I'm required to "be upfront and blunt, using physical force". That pittbull I have to subdue really couldn't care less whether I have a crying jag or not.

I don't attempt to get my way in a relationship by emotional manipulation, either. I'm not going to say I never cry. I'd be an emotional cripple if I didn't. But I tend to do it out of view of the man I'm dating. I don't cry so he'll feel bad and I'll get my way.

Please, please, PLEASE stop with the generalizations that All Women or All Men are a certain way. If this is all you have encountered, maybe you need to delve into a different dating pool, not condemn women and men you have never even met.
Here, here! Well said and to the point. I don't think all men are a certain way, and they shouldn't belive ALL women are a certain way either.
I don't want to manipulate a person, if I wanted to do that I'd get a puppet.

Oh, and when I think of equal, what I mean is that I don't want someone who I can control, or who will control me, but a person who is as secure with themselves as I am with me. This is then where we can build a healthy relationship. If the man or women has a much lower self esteem, then you fall into the situation where one person seems to have more power than the other and that isn't healthy. That's when fear or resentment creep in. There is a little more to equal than that, but as far as it just being education or money...that is too simplistic.

For example, I have a masters degree, and as a teacher I don't make that much money, but it's a fairly secure job. I dated a guy with a bachlors degree who made much less than me, close to nothing, but with whom I considered an equal. He was intelligent and ambitious and working towards his own goals. Those were the qualities that made him my equal. (It ended for completely different reasons)
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #30  September 27,2009, 9:57am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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That's a dumb article.

Why is the title five ways women sabbotage their relationships?

Apparently acts of sabbotage include: starting pointless fights, dumping someone and laughing at them in bed!

Did anyone not know this?
 
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