Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships

Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Five Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #101  February 3,2010, 8:42pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

jcw001 wrote :
Going to fix a toilet at my gf's house is not something that I need. She needs her toilet fixed. Having her call me instead of a plumber is something that I need. It gives me satisfaction to feel needed.

Allowing people to do things for us gives them a sense of worthiness. That is why people comment that they feel good about doing things for others, isn't it? Allowing people to do things for us shows we care about them as much as doing things for them does the same.
It's a shame that your desire to help is offensive to some people here. Like they say, you just can't please everyone.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #102  February 4,2010, 11:48am

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
I was offended that you found his preferences offensive.
and...you have every right to that.
 
  Reply With Quote
bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #103  February 4,2010, 12:51pm
bigfincat's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 4,077

See profile

The reciever of the action will see right through the mentality of the action...if they are perceptive, that is.

You can tell when someone is being condescending in their dealings with you.

I know that a friend of mine deals with that type of treatment. I have seen people treat her that way. I won't do that to her & I can tell that she appreciates that.

I don't agree with the idea that we should be needed to do jobs. We should have that need filled through our mutual support.

Life provides countless needs. The actual deeds are unimportant.

We have to get "x" amount of things done. She will appreciate it if you could contribute ("x" - whatever help that you can give.)

I do think that the offensive part is actually listing things that you would like to do for a woman.

There is a difference between helping to get things done & fulfilling a "need".

Also, the offense may be that you want to dictate to some degree what her needs are or should be (not the exact deeds). Maybe she needs your company & support. They are saying that you should be interested in finding out what their needs are & then being content in meeting just those needs. You should not need to feel needed to feel important to her.
 
  Reply With Quote
livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #104  February 4,2010, 2:30pm
livenlearn's Avatar

Yay! spring has sprung.

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

cosmos

Posts: 3,439

See profile

bigfincat wrote :
The reciever of the action will see right through the mentality of the action...if they are perceptive, that is.

You can tell when someone is being condescending in their dealings with you.

I know that a friend of mine deals with that type of treatment. I have seen people treat her that way. I won't do that to her & I can tell that she appreciates that.

I don't agree with the idea that we should be needed to do jobs. We should have that need filled through our mutual support.

Life provides countless needs. The actual deeds are unimportant.

We have to get "x" amount of things done. She will appreciate it if you could contribute ("x" - whatever help that you can give.)

I do think that the offensive part is actually listing things that you would like to do for a woman.

There is a difference between helping to get things done & fulfilling a "need".

Also, the offense may be that you want to dictate to some degree what her needs are or should be (not the exact deeds). Maybe she needs your company & support. They are saying that you should be interested in finding out what their needs are & then being content in meeting just those needs. You should not need to feel needed to feel important to her.
Thank you. Very well said.
 
  Reply With Quote
myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #105  June 6,2010, 6:59pm
myusernameher…'s Avatar

is awesome

Veteran

Joined: May 2010

Posts: 1,402

See profile

sweetlaly wrote :
What are your thoughts on intelligent/successful women? Does it sabotage our chances when a guy finds out that we are more successful (or make more ) than they do? Is there a good way to avoid scaring off guys? Or are we better off without a guy who is potentially scared off by our career?
I always thought it was that women didn't want to date a less successful man than the man being scared off by a more successful woman. Personally, I wouldn't be scared off by someone who made more than I did.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Stop Talking | Relationships | Saying "I love you" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Do men really like full figured women? DIVINE_DESIGNS7 About You 437 January 15,2012 3:28pm
A Mars Venus Guide: Dating Do's and Don'ts for Men outlaw1 Dating 62 December 27,2010 8:04pm
Single women prefer men already in relationships singleman4803 Dating 60 October 31,2009 9:02am
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 8:04am
Old Fashioned Romance & Courtship Just_A_Thought Love in Color 78 May 31,2009 6:54pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:42pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0