I am new to the advice boards, but here it goes...
I met my current boyfriend on eharm and we have been dating for about 5 months. He's really wonderful, thoughtful and caring. I love to do things for him because he makes it so easy to want to give back. When we first starting seeing each other we had each gone through a bad break-up the previous year. My ex tricked me into believing that he wanted marriage for the entire duration of our relationship of 10 years and still tried to drag his feet..so I cut my loses and left. His ex cheated quite often over 6 years, and eventually decided to "change teams" and date women.

However, after breaking up with him she had to nerve to ask him to stay in the house until her young daughter (that he had helped raise since she was 2) finished the school year. For some insane reason he agreed. By the time we were matched, he was in the process of getting moved out. The child is not his biologically, and her real father was still in her life. Since he moved out, he continues to see her every 3 wks, but since I made it clear on my profile that I did not want to get involved in any baby-mama drama, I have not felt the need to get to know her or meet her.

This is partially because he has told me over and over that if I did not want him to maintain connections with his ex (who treated him so badly, and merely used him as a live-in babysitter) in any way, he would stop seeing them (the child). I told him that I would not make that decision for him and if he truly wanted to move forward with his life, he would make that decision.

The problem is, he tells me he doesn't "need" to have her in his life and that eventually her need for him will fade off. Yet I recently found out that the child and/or mother are not asking for him...he is asking for visits with the child. I really don't see how he expects the little girl to get a chance to move on, if he doesn't give her time or space to do so.

Now every three weeks, he keeps putting pressure on me to meet her and it makes me very uncomfortable and guilty. I asked him if he was afraid to tell me that he really wants to maintain his relationship with the child...but he keeps saying no. He is really confusing me and I can't help but wonder about our future together. Whenever we talk in detail about marriage and kids, this child was never apart of that and I told him this.

Am I reading too much into this or should I be concerned about his inability to move on? Please understand that I have spoken to him many times about this, especially when he keeps asking me to meet her, but his answers clash with his actions. My friends say that we should hold off on future talk until he resolves his issue, I agree...but how long should I wait? Other than this issue, the relationship is great.