landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #1  September 21,2009, 9:48am
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There is no fear in love.

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Everyone has it, some people just don't address it or deal with it. Do you find that to be true and how do you personally deal with your baggage?

For myself, I analyze (sometimes involving mentors), break it down, try to look at who has brought me baggage, examine their shoes and put it in perspective. Most times I let the emotions flow out through tears, then I move forward again. If I stumble, I repeat the above again.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #2  September 21,2009, 10:25am

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And the point is what? (You can analyze and over analyze and what is your point?)


Harvey7.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  September 21,2009, 10:27am
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I think it really depends on how you define baggage. Everyone has bad things happen to them, everyone gets hurt - that's life. Most healthy people put it behind them and move on. So to me, a person has baggage when they have not dealt with whatever problem they've experienced. In other words they've had a bad experience and they are letting that experience poison them for the rest of their lives.

For instance, you had an SO cheat on you and now you think everyone is a cheater until proven otherwise and you kill one relationship after another with irrational, insecure, jealous behavior. You keep punishing each new person for the sins of that old one so to speak. It's highly self-destructive behavior and to me, the absolute definition of a person with baggage.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #4  September 21,2009, 10:36am
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Everyone has events or people touch them in both good and hurtful ways. It's the scars that can leave the longterm damaging impact.

The thing about baggage is that overanalzying can be selfdefeating. When you see or look for someone else to disappoint you in those ways...you are actually showing that you don't trust them. Try to treat each person like a blank slate. Know the warning signs of bad behavior but don't punish someone that isn't guilty.

I think that's why a break between relationships and choosing the right person is so important in getting past that. An understanding person can hold your hand through the doubts...just like you can for them.

Relationships just are one of those things that people often get trapped in the same pattern of mistakes to repeat over and over. So it's important to see one's own part in the equation and correct that to heal.
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #5  September 21,2009, 10:39am
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There is no fear in love.

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Harvey7 wrote :
And the point is what? (You can analyze and over analyze and what is your point?)


Harvey7.
My point being that we don't deal with it in the same way. You have to break things down to see the origin to deal with them. So what's your point?
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  September 21,2009, 10:44am

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bravethestorm wrote :
Everyone has events or people touch them in both good and hurtful ways. It's the scars that can leave the longterm damaging impact.

The thing about baggage is that overanalzying can be selfdefeating. When you see or look for someone else to disappoint you in those ways...you are actually showing that you don't trust them. Try to treat each person like a blank slate. Know the warning signs of bad behavior but don't punish someone that isn't guilty.

I think that's why a break between relationships and choosing the right person is so important in getting past that. An understanding person can hold your hand through the doubts...just like you can for them.

Relationships just are one of those things that people often get trapped in the same pattern of mistakes to repeat over and over. So it's important to see one's own part in the equation and correct that to heal.
Well said Brave

and these are the people that have Live and Learn for there dating headline, but they never do!
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #7  September 21,2009, 11:02am
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Arh, the only way not to have had baggage is not to have lived. Its what makes folk interesting.
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #8  September 21,2009, 11:17am
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Fleuellen wrote :
Arh, the only way not to have had baggage is not to have lived. Its what makes folk interesting.

Yeah, but if you don't have baggage then you don't have to pay that ridiculous $25 fee by the airlines.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #9  September 21,2009, 11:57am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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RebornInFire wrote :
Yeah, but if you don't have baggage then you don't have to pay that ridiculous $25 fee by the airlines.
Yeah but then you get strip searched.
 
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Ciao_eh is offline Ciao_eh Post #10  September 21,2009, 12:12pm
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tweet37 wrote :
Yeah but then you get strip searched.
Welll, would it not depend on who is searching you?
 
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