Can people really have sex without any emotional attachment???


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TravelBarbie is offline TravelBarbie Post #1  September 15,2009, 6:10pm
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Okay....maybe this question seems silly, but I am very curious about this because I cannot fathom such a thing....can people really go around having sex with countless partners and genuinely have no emotional attachment to any of them??? And can a person capable of this be "emotionally faithful" to a significant other??? I mean, on occasion, I have kissed a guy or two, just for fun, and almost always I feel some degree of emotional attachment afterwards.

Yes, I know there are heartless people out there who are selfish users and all that bad stuff --- but not talking about them... I'm talking about a decent person who claims to just "really love sex" and can honestly sleep with people with ZERO emotional attachment??? Does this exist??? Or does sex always involve some level of emotion??? And again, can someone like this ever be capable of having a monogamous relationship???

Also I have heard some guys say that "its a guy thing"...that women don't understand how a guy could love one woman, and still have casual sex with another woman without feeling like he loves his significant other less. I just have a really hard time buying this??? What do you all think????
Last edited by TravelBarbie; September 15,2009 at 6:29pm.
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #2  September 15,2009, 6:25pm
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TravelBarbie, I do believe that some people can have sex without any emotional attachment. I believe there are some men and women who are capable of this; I won't go so far as to say which are more capable than the other - I simply don't have that much insight into the issue.

Can these people be in monogamous relationships? Sure, but I think they have to be emotionally mature, value the feelings of their partner, and realize that the "meaningless" sex they can have with someone else won't be so meaningless to the one who loves them (and they say they love, if they do).

I think when you're single and honest with your physical partner, if that's what you're into, sex can indeed be "casual." But I feel like when you're in a relationship, sex with someone else (without the knowledge or consent of your partner, because for some people, that's okay, too) is anything but.
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #3  September 15,2009, 6:26pm
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And not a silly question, either.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #4  September 15,2009, 6:27pm
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Not "zero" emotional attachment, no. But emotional attachment doesn't necessarily mean "love". It could mean just "like a lot" or "affection" for many people. In my rather tame youth, there were guys I liked well enough to have sex with, but I certainly wasn't in love with. Don't regret most of them, either. Nah, don't regret any of them. In fact, I wish I'd had more sex when I was young. It was fun.

(Of course, there are always people who just need a warm body to m@sturb@te with. They usually don't have much empathy, so they're not the type you really want to hang out with anyway.)
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  September 15,2009, 6:28pm
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TravelBarbie wrote :
Okay....maybe this question seems silly, but I am very curious about this because I cannot fathom such a thing....can people really go around having sex with countless partners and genuinely have no emotional attachment to any of them??? ??
Yep...those men, they are called "dogs."

for women?...those are wh*res....

Questions?
 
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fierio4000 is offline fierio4000 Post #6  September 15,2009, 6:35pm
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Some have a strong attachment, others have a short one. Also, some people like variety. They can get bored of relationships easily. From a young age, guys are taught not to cry, because its not good for a reputation, its not cool. Sex is cool and at a certain stage of life, can be one of the coolest topics. Some people just never grow out of this and don't realize that their partner has a different opinion and background about sex.
You could try dating guys that go at a slower pace. Sex isn't bad, it can be pretty fun. I don't have a lot of experience being 16, but I don't see why people make it such an issue. Just find someone at your own pace.
Last edited by fierio4000; September 15,2009 at 6:45pm.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  September 15,2009, 7:18pm
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i personally cant do it but i think its a lot easier for men to have casual sex with women that they are attracted to but not at all emotionally involved.

the one thing that i always wonder is if having a lot of casual sex (for a man in particular) will make them less monogamous. i ask that only because i see men on here write that they need sex for emotional attachment but they can have sex without being emotionally attached. that tells me that for them that sex needs to come first, so why wouldnt emotional attachment occur with others that they may have casual sex with?

if its not required that tells me that they CAN have an emotional attachment without sex.

i hope that makes a little sense at least
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  September 15,2009, 7:46pm
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For me it depends on what you mean by 'emotional attachment'. That's kind of a vague expression. I feel some 'emotional attachment' for any woman that I want to go on a second date with. I certainly feel some level of 'emotional attachment' with any woman I have sex with. For me it's a matter of the 'degree' of emotional attachment. I can have sex with a woman without necessarily feeling I'm ready to be in a committed relationship with her, if that's more along the lines of what you're asking.
 
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Questioninggirl is offline Questioninggirl Post #9  September 15,2009, 8:22pm
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Great question...
Waiting to hear from more guys.
I know I can develop emotional attachment with a kiss. But I'm still mistified at a post that said guys don't develop attachment until sex. ??
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  September 15,2009, 8:28pm

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Jacquiem wrote :
TravelBarbie, I do believe that some people can have sex without any emotional attachment. I believe there are some men and women who are capable of this; I won't go so far as to say which are more capable than the other - I simply don't have that much insight into the issue.

Can these people be in monogamous relationships? Sure, but I think they have to be emotionally mature, value the feelings of their partner, and realize that the "meaningless" sex they can have with someone else won't be so meaningless to the one who loves them (and they say they love, if they do).

I think when you're single and honest with your physical partner, if that's what you're into, sex can indeed be "casual." But I feel like when you're in a relationship, sex with someone else (without the knowledge or consent of your partner, because for some people, that's okay, too) is anything but.
I believe that you should have stopped with "I simply don't have that much insight into the issue." Instead of venturing and offering a best guess meaningless post?

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; September 15,2009 at 8:30pm.
 
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