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dietpepsi dietpepsi is offline
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The facts are:

We dated in the same city in the past. Misunderstandings. Separate ways. We are now in different cities. He sought me out for a second try. We are both looking for the right person to settle down with. He made some bold statements about how we may have a future and keeps pestering me to visit him to figure things out. The twist is that he isn't showering me with endless affection, but he responds to me very quickly. He is a great catch and has a busy career, so he hasn't had to work to attract beautiful and successful women. Yes, I have already concluded that he is a bit spoiled and No, I'm not going to spoil him.

His correspondences are succinct and he calls me only once every two weeks. I don't think that's frequent enough for me to escalate him to "serious suitor" status. We're both very independent and it's exhausting to yak on the phone with the same person more than once per week. I hardly have time for myself, never mind someone who isn't actively involved in my daily life at the moment.

I do plan to visit him. Until then, I think a brief email several times per week is sufficient. Should it be more frequent? Less frequent? How should I set expectations for the trip? Should my communications be platonic? personal? or flirty? He already knows my feelings for him.

Ideally he's head over heels for me, and pandering left and right to make me feel like the only queen in his life. In reality, both of us are looking for someone geographically more desirable but also still wondering if something could transpire between us.

I think it's worth a shot for an initial visit, set expectations low and then go from there.
Last edited by dietpepsi; September 8th, 2009 at 09:14 pm.
- September 8th, 2009, 09:07 pm
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beachgirl5 beachgirl5 is offline
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In my experience, if there's a real connection, emails will fly between you, you'll be anxious to talk often and it won't feel exhausting. Maybe you're trying to see something where there isn't anything?
- September 8th, 2009, 10:28 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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dietpepsi wrote :
The facts are:
He made some bold statements about how we may have a future and keeps pestering me to visit him to figure things out.

No, I'm not going to spoil him.

...he calls me only once every two weeks. I don't think that's frequent enough for me to escalate him to "serious suitor" status.

I do plan to visit him.
He already knows my feelings for him.

I think it's worth a shot for an initial visit, set expectations low and then go from there.
My advice: DO NOT VISIT HIM. You're making yourself waaaay to easy for a man who can't even be bothered to call you more than every couple weeks. His talk is cheap. Don't even consider him a casual suitor....until HE visits YOU. He does know your feelings for him and is using them against you.
- September 8th, 2009, 10:33 pm
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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You've already made you're mind up, so why ask for our opinions?
Just looking for some attention?

Harvey7.
- September 8th, 2009, 10:52 pm
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flowerchild66 flowerchild66 is offline
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jayjay wrote :
My advice: DO NOT VISIT HIM. You're making yourself waaaay to easy for a man who can't even be bothered to call you more than every couple weeks. His talk is cheap. Don't even consider him a casual suitor....until HE visits YOU. He does know your feelings for him and is using them against you.
David Hasselhoff's got it right. I think he's grooming you for a FWB setup until a suitable "geographically more desirable" woman materializes. Your feelings and packed schedule insure to him that you're interested, but too busy to make a nuisance out of yourself with expectations.

Since he's so good on paper I would ride the bus for a while longer, but try not to get too emotionally attached.
- September 9th, 2009, 03:41 pm
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