Professional school and relationship interference?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Appels1 is offline Appels1 Post #1  September 5,2009, 7:53pm
Appels1's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

College Station, TX

Posts: 1

See profile

Just to set the record straight, I'm very new to this community and look forward to communicating and learning from everyone.

[COLOR=black]I’m looking for any advice regarding relationships and the effects professional school (grad. school) has on them.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  September 5,2009, 7:59pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,684

See profile

My thought is to try to delay the issue until you're settled into the new programs.

That way, things have a chance to normalize, and you'll better understand the steady-state requirements of the programs.
 
  Reply With Quote
blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #3  September 5,2009, 8:25pm
blueshoe's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 317

See profile

I can relate to those who have worked in medical fields for instance. I know of many couples that have married and continued and supported each other through the process while both finished.

People and relationships should come before career IMO. If your not ready for permanent comittment and change that comes with it then the relationship should proably be broken and don't start another if your going to just keep replaying the same song and dance.

If you both are heading in similar directions at the same pace it shouldn't be that difficult to decide what to do.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  September 5,2009, 9:04pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Just the act of going to graduate school probably means you are each pretty serious about whatever it is you are studying. This, and the distinct possibility that after finishing school you will each need to go different directions to continue pursuing your fields probably mean things aren't going to work out for your relationship.
 
  Reply With Quote
DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #5  September 5,2009, 9:20pm
DeBrown's Avatar

To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 169

See profile

Jayjay makes an excellent point. I'm in grad school too (anthropology) and I'm going to the University of Washington. Once I graduate, the likelyhood of being hired as faculty by the UW almost nil. (Colleges rarely hire their own PhD's, it's all about new vigor and mixing ideas and not becoming static with one viewpoint, etc.) Personally, if I have a b/f at that time, and he is not willing to move with me, I will move without him. And prior to getting into a relationship I will clearly explain that.

I don't know what profession you are going into, but that may very well be the case with you and/or your girlfriend.

Are you seriously thinking of marrying her? and she you? I think it might be a more bearable situation if you are thinking this is just one short phase compared to the rest of your lives together.

D Lion has a good point too. Has the quarter/semester started for you yet? (I don't start until Oct. 2) Maybe wait a month to see what the load is like and if you both feel you can handle a relationship in addition to the workload.

Of course only you and your girlfriend can make this decision. I do know this: all work and no play is a bad idea. I make sure I have activities in my life that are non-school related. When I start dropping those, I become depressed and unhappy.
 
  Reply With Quote
beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #6  September 5,2009, 9:22pm
beachgirl5's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Sep 2009

Santa Barbara

Posts: 607

See profile

Your focus now needs to be school. What she's saying is showing a lack of maturity that probably means it's unlikely to sustain this relationship and focus on your future.
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #7  September 6,2009, 12:30am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

It means that it's time for a time out! She can't handle the stress and you are starting to wear thin on her nerves, so she would rather concentrate
on school and your nagging and need for attention is not what she needs at this time.

I suggest that you give her some space and maybe a shared vacation after graduation? Then you guys can re-examine what the future may or may not hold for you? Back Off for now!

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #8  September 6,2009, 1:01am
DeBrown's Avatar

To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 169

See profile

Forgive me if I'm wrong, Harvey, but I think SHE is the one who wants more attention/less school and planning, not HE. Right, beachgirl? And OP??
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #9  September 6,2009, 1:08am
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

We're one of a kind, like dip di-dip di-dip, doo-bop a doo-bee doo

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,405

See profile

Have you ever considered that it is more important to think about your future?

Work always has to come first. If you both want to excell in your careers, you have to realize that.
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  September 6,2009, 8:35am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

DeBrown wrote :
Forgive me if I'm wrong, Harvey, but I think SHE is the one who wants more attention/less school and planning, not HE. Right, beachgirl? And OP??
I forgive you De, he is complaining, but she is the one that has grown bored! They need a break from the relationship to complete the task at hand Graduating.

A vacation and away from it all will allow them to see and feel for miles away towards the future together or their own separate ways!

Harvey7
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Distance & dating | Relationships | Fine »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
She just wants us to be "dating" and not a relationship. secretagent4777 Relationships 21 October 29,2009 2:15pm
relationship between boyfriend and my son pianogirl1 Ask a Dating Expert 17 October 7,2009 10:32am
Would you have a relationship with this loser? tom1385 Relationships 19 September 5,2009 12:52am
Problems in a good relationship that we can't work out without help :( ashtonnnh Ask a Dating Expert 9 September 4,2009 1:55pm
High School Sweetheart Justme7 Ask a Dating Expert 6 August 3,2009 5:19pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:34pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0