Should I confess my porn addiction to my wife even if she already knows?

My marriage has gone down the drain and I am currently separated. She wants a divorce. I'm 25 and she is 23. To sum everything up, I think this is all because of my porn addiction. I've never been caught red handed...mostly caught by internet history and that sort of thing. I think she knew I was doing it behind her back and that she tried to pretend everything was ok and it was just easier letting me "take care of myself". She must have just gotten sick of it and decided enough was enough. To be quite honest, I haven't told her of all of the times I've done it during our long distance relationship (we are now physically together) but have lied that I didn't do it during those separations.

I've basically come to the point where I'm contemplating telling her the truth about my addiction and how I'm working on getting rid of it. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. Why?...maybe she doesn't know about how often I watched porn or believed my lie that I didn't watch it anymore...maybe things will get worse and blow any future chances. I don't know what to do. It will definitely make things worse but can my honesty and truthfullness help things by her seeing that I have the guts to confess to her even when its probably too late? I've never physically cheated on her...only porn and many many times. Maybe she's waiting for a confession from me in order to ever trust me again. I'm lost and need some advice about whether to tell her or not. I'd have to admit that I don't have much to lose anymore. If anyone recommends I do tell her, can you give some tips on what to say and what not to say? Should I do it in person or over the phone? (I assume in person)

If you think I shouldn't tell her, please tell me why when I have nothing else to lose.

If she knows I've lied to her about it in the past, what are the chances that she believed me when I said I didn't do it anymore the last time?

Confession to God isn't fixing my failing marriage. Could this confession to her help AT ALL???

I love her so much and its a shame that porn has ruined my life, her life, and our marriage. I'm determined to continue to stay off the porn and more importantly to be honest with my wife and save my marriage.

Don't confess to her just for the purpose of "winning her back." Confess to her if you believe it's the right thing to do, whether it helps you win her back or not.
Personally I think it will be good for you to confess, even if it doesn't heal the relationship. It will be good practice for you in being honest and open, something you'll need because if you really want to recover (from any addiction) you're going to have to learn to confess and ask for help. If I can control it on my own, it's not an addiction.

Don't expect her to suddenly turn around and want you back the moment you confess. She's probably been deeply hurt, and it will take a long time to heal. But it's good that you're willing to take steps, and I hope this does eventually lead to the recovery of your marriage.
At the very least, if you persist in trying, it will lead to a healthier you.

Kevin, If he could fix it by himself, he would have but he can't so he needs professional help. Confessing to her would be the final nail in his coffin! Let him go for help to gain insight into the problem and with the help of a therapist invite the wife to join them to establish a meeting of minds, which they currently do not have in any way. If someone has a compulsion they can not always control it. Cut him some slack.

Harvey7.

Thank you for your input. I have decided that I am going to confront her and be honest with her about the things that I've done. This burden of lying and adultry with porn has haunted me for years and even if I'm going to be getting divorced, I need to get it off of my chest even if she already knows about it. Maybe the state of mind that she is in (read previous posts...she's still the same) is partially or fully because of the fact that she knows that she's been lied to for so long. Hopefully if I come clean with her she will get back on her feet and start living life even if its without me. I'm not expecting to get anything out of this other than relief that I don't have any secrets with her. If good does come out of it, even in months or years, then that would be fantastic but for now I need to focus on bettering myself and not going back to my old ways even after I confess to her. I am going to seek professional help and I hope it works but my faith in god has been the number one thing that has turned my life around and has given me a new meaning to what it means to do the right thing. I have already overcome being such a selfish person and I feel great about that. Now is the time to take action on my other faults which will help my own well being, possibly my marriage or future relationships. Anyways, I'm pretty much out the door now so I hope I can post back how it went. This will be a success story no matter which way it goes. Wish me luck and thank you all again!