Will the physical attraction come?


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b_sunshyne is offline b_sunshyne Post #1  September 2,2009, 10:50am
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So... I've met this fantastic guy! He is smart, great job, funny, handsome, taller than me, treats me very well, has a great family, stable... I could go on... only problem has to do with the physical side of our relationship. He used to be overweight, still is today, and he is working on losing the extra weight (50 lbs down, 60 to go). As much as I find him handsome (beautiful eyes, and a great smile), my 'go' button is not getting pushed. I also feel that he might be a 'project' (don't know yet), in the intimacy area.

So, I'm in my early 30's, never been married, and have yet to have a long term relationship (over a year)... so I don't want to move on from a really wonderful man, on the hope he will become my best friend I cannot keep my hands off of... unfortuanatly, he is becoming my best friend (end of sentence).

HELP!!!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #2  September 2,2009, 2:56pm
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lOTS OF QUESTIONS HERE, HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HIM, OR DATED HIM?

Do you want him as a friend or partner??

What else do you know about him??
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #3  September 2,2009, 3:44pm

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b_sunshyne wrote :
So... I've met this fantastic guy! He is smart, great job, funny, handsome, taller than me, treats me very well, has a great family, stable... I could go on... only problem has to do with the physical side of our relationship. He used to be overweight, still is today, and he is working on losing the extra weight (50 lbs down, 60 to go). As much as I find him handsome (beautiful eyes, and a great smile), my 'go' button is not getting pushed. I also feel that he might be a 'project' (don't know yet), in the intimacy area.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
So... if he wasn't as smart, didn't have such a great job, wasn't as funny/handsome/tall etc etc... what would your answer be?
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #4  September 2,2009, 4:55pm
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To answer your question...no. Sorry.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  September 2,2009, 5:08pm
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The simple answer to your question is no, it won't come.

However do ask yourself this....if he became unemployed, lost his house and was no longer so stable and safe.....would you still be interested in him as much as you are now? Sometimes understanding your motivations helps to resolve the issue.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #6  September 2,2009, 6:44pm
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No it won't come. It's either there or it's not - it's like chemistry.
 
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sqg123 is offline sqg123 Post #7  September 2,2009, 6:44pm
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No, physical attraction will not come later.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  September 2,2009, 6:50pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I don't think the lack of attraction you feel is due to his weight problem. I'd guess it's more related to his personality.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #9  September 2,2009, 7:02pm
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I must disagree with the posters before me. The more you like someone the more you will be attracted to that person. If you find yourself not liking that person any more, you will find that person not as attractive.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #10  September 2,2009, 7:33pm
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Hey all you "Love is a Choice" people.... Why can't she just CHOOSE to be totally into this fantastic guy?

It's because love... and attraction... is a FEELING. If you don't feel it, you can't MAKE yourself feel it. Sometimes it can grow, but I think that rare... the exception rather than the rule.

If he is already your FRIEND and you're not feeling anything else for him, he will probably stay your friend and nothing more.
 
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