Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #11  September 1,2009, 3:39am
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile

When a girl says "I need a break", what she really means is "I'm not that into you".

Thus, it's time to move on.
 
  Reply With Quote
kryswriter is offline kryswriter Post #12  September 1,2009, 5:33am
kryswriter's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 23

See profile

I am going through a similar situation. If someone tells you he or she is not ready for a serious relationship or that he or she doesn't know if they want that, listen! Do not guess that with time they will change or that it really means something else. It means what they said. She told you upfront that she wasn't exclusive. So from there you take your chances. You can date and see if it looks like she just needed to go slow-- but that mean you also must go slow. Before sex, you have to re-examine the situation and find out if she is still not ready/ interested in something serious. Best to wait to have sex when you are actually a couple and you have told her you would like to be exclusive and she agrees. otherwise, anything goes. She doesn't seem like commitment material. But she said that upfront. I am dating a guy who told me the same thing. But then told me to give him time. so i have been dating him and we have not even kissed because I am not going to do anything with him until I sense that he is ready for a relationship. Now I believe I have wasted time and he doesn't seem like he will ever really be a serious guy (at least not with me). I should have listened to him when he first told me that an exclusive relationship wasn't one of his goals. let him call me later when he is ready, if ever. why get sucked into someone who just doesn't know?
 
  Reply With Quote
hummersandharleys is offline hummersandharleys Post #13  September 1,2009, 2:41pm
hummersandhar…'s Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Billings, Mt

Posts: 8

See profile

Yea I am starting to realize that what the deal is has the emotional part sewn up ( with the internet relationship) just misses the touch, companionship and sex (me) I think she would prefer it all be with the same guy but it is not the case. There were lots of red flags from the start but my gut is telling me to "run for the hills" Hurts nonetheless but probably better now than later.
 
  Reply With Quote
DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #14  September 2,2009, 4:40am
DeBrown's Avatar

To be Irish is to know that in the end, the world will break your heart.

Quick Study

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 169

See profile

Good decision, Hummer. She is not emotionally healthy you don't want to get involved with a drama queen... always hot or cold. That's no way to live. :-)
 
  Reply With Quote
hummersandharleys is offline hummersandharleys Post #15  September 2,2009, 4:04pm
hummersandhar…'s Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Billings, Mt

Posts: 8

See profile

Yea, I forgot how much fun the dating game was after a almost 4 year break from it due to a long term relationship....Seems women these days will come right out front and tell you what they are looking for and when you deliver, bamm they change the rules. Very interesting site here with a bunch of really good insight on things.
 
  Reply With Quote
saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #16  September 2,2009, 4:30pm
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFlake.

I've dated so many of them, I can't even count anymore.

- Saul
 
  Reply With Quote
simplemind is offline simplemind Post #17  September 2,2009, 4:46pm
simplemind's Avatar

comes to her favorite season--cool weather and beautiful colors.

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

St. Louis

Posts: 1,340

See profile

saulgoode wrote :
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFlake.

I've dated so many of them, I can't even count anymore.

- Saul

and I've been one so long, I can't even count anymore....
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #18  September 2,2009, 9:29pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,376

See profile

There are a surprisingly large number of people out there who have NO idea what they want in a relationship.

She sounds like one of them.
 
  Reply With Quote
bee_happy is offline bee_happy Post #19  September 3,2009, 3:43pm
bee_happy's Avatar

Life is GOOD!

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Cincinnati, OH

Posts: 20

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :
When a girl says "I need a break", what she really means is "I'm not that into you".

Thus, it's time to move on.
I couldn't agree more. I'd say she isn't all that interested in the OP, but she isn't making enough progress with the guy she is interested in so she was willing (read playing him) and being selfish because she needed something. Pretty sad, move on and find yourself a better girl.
 
  Reply With Quote
wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #20  September 3,2009, 7:01pm
wordwoman's Avatar

is in contemplation

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Pacific Northwest

Posts: 221

See profile

hummersandharleys wrote :
Need some help folks on this one. Met a great gal at church, been making eye contact and flirting for almost 9 months or so. Through face book finally made a connection and started conversing. We then started doing things together and got along great, she warned me several times to slow down that she was not ready emotionally available for a exclusive serious relationship. I figured she was still healing form her ex husband or a recent breakup.

To make a long story short we went on awesome get away weekend, ended up kissing for the first time and had incredible sex mulitiple times. Two days later her total mood changes and she informs me that he is emotionally involved with a guy she me on a dating site. They have never met. She told me she needs a break to get her mind straight....Is this the end????? We are both 46
You didn't listen to her, did you? You decided what you wanted and marched on like General Sherman, ignoring what she was saying. In my opinion, you got what you deserved. It's a harsh lesson, but the blame doesn't belong to her; she stated her intentions -- repeatedly, thus she was free to get tangled up with online guy or anyone else for that matter. Yet, somehow your expectation after the weekend getaway was that she would settled down with you; where did you get this idea? Great sex doesn't signal a commitment. I bet the next time a woman tells you she isn't interested in anything exclusive or serious, you listen to her and keep your pants on.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Taking a break | Relationships | How much space do I need to give my bf? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Some honesty about sex please! TiffanyDiamond Ask a Dating Expert 278 September 22,2010 8:34pm
the "gay gene"? divadoc anything goes! smart chat.... 48 April 16,2010 2:04pm
emotional challenges women leaving domestic violence niceguy2009 Relationships 9 August 21,2009 4:29pm
Responsibility for deferred children falls on men or women? D_Lion Relationships 36 August 4,2009 11:13pm
Emotional help pds857 About You 5 July 20,2009 9:00pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:09pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0