Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #11  September 1,2009, 2:39am
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When a girl says "I need a break", what she really means is "I'm not that into you".

Thus, it's time to move on.
 
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kryswriter is offline kryswriter Post #12  September 1,2009, 4:33am
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I am going through a similar situation. If someone tells you he or she is not ready for a serious relationship or that he or she doesn't know if they want that, listen! Do not guess that with time they will change or that it really means something else. It means what they said. She told you upfront that she wasn't exclusive. So from there you take your chances. You can date and see if it looks like she just needed to go slow-- but that mean you also must go slow. Before sex, you have to re-examine the situation and find out if she is still not ready/ interested in something serious. Best to wait to have sex when you are actually a couple and you have told her you would like to be exclusive and she agrees. otherwise, anything goes. She doesn't seem like commitment material. But she said that upfront. I am dating a guy who told me the same thing. But then told me to give him time. so i have been dating him and we have not even kissed because I am not going to do anything with him until I sense that he is ready for a relationship. Now I believe I have wasted time and he doesn't seem like he will ever really be a serious guy (at least not with me). I should have listened to him when he first told me that an exclusive relationship wasn't one of his goals. let him call me later when he is ready, if ever. why get sucked into someone who just doesn't know?
 
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hummersandharleys is offline hummersandharleys Post #13  September 1,2009, 1:41pm
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Yea I am starting to realize that what the deal is has the emotional part sewn up ( with the internet relationship) just misses the touch, companionship and sex (me) I think she would prefer it all be with the same guy but it is not the case. There were lots of red flags from the start but my gut is telling me to "run for the hills" Hurts nonetheless but probably better now than later.
 
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DeBrown is offline DeBrown Post #14  September 2,2009, 3:40am
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Good decision, Hummer. She is not emotionally healthy you don't want to get involved with a drama queen... always hot or cold. That's no way to live. :-)
 
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hummersandharleys is offline hummersandharleys Post #15  September 2,2009, 3:04pm
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Yea, I forgot how much fun the dating game was after a almost 4 year break from it due to a long term relationship....Seems women these days will come right out front and tell you what they are looking for and when you deliver, bamm they change the rules. Very interesting site here with a bunch of really good insight on things.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #16  September 2,2009, 3:30pm
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FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFlake.

I've dated so many of them, I can't even count anymore.

- Saul
 
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simplemind is offline simplemind Post #17  September 2,2009, 3:46pm
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saulgoode wrote :
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFlake.

I've dated so many of them, I can't even count anymore.

- Saul

and I've been one so long, I can't even count anymore....
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #18  September 2,2009, 8:29pm
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There are a surprisingly large number of people out there who have NO idea what they want in a relationship.

She sounds like one of them.
 
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bee_happy is offline bee_happy Post #19  September 3,2009, 2:43pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
When a girl says "I need a break", what she really means is "I'm not that into you".

Thus, it's time to move on.
I couldn't agree more. I'd say she isn't all that interested in the OP, but she isn't making enough progress with the guy she is interested in so she was willing (read playing him) and being selfish because she needed something. Pretty sad, move on and find yourself a better girl.
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #20  September 3,2009, 6:01pm
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hummersandharleys wrote :
Need some help folks on this one. Met a great gal at church, been making eye contact and flirting for almost 9 months or so. Through face book finally made a connection and started conversing. We then started doing things together and got along great, she warned me several times to slow down that she was not ready emotionally available for a exclusive serious relationship. I figured she was still healing form her ex husband or a recent breakup.

To make a long story short we went on awesome get away weekend, ended up kissing for the first time and had incredible sex mulitiple times. Two days later her total mood changes and she informs me that he is emotionally involved with a guy she me on a dating site. They have never met. She told me she needs a break to get her mind straight....Is this the end????? We are both 46
You didn't listen to her, did you? You decided what you wanted and marched on like General Sherman, ignoring what she was saying. In my opinion, you got what you deserved. It's a harsh lesson, but the blame doesn't belong to her; she stated her intentions -- repeatedly, thus she was free to get tangled up with online guy or anyone else for that matter. Yet, somehow your expectation after the weekend getaway was that she would settled down with you; where did you get this idea? Great sex doesn't signal a commitment. I bet the next time a woman tells you she isn't interested in anything exclusive or serious, you listen to her and keep your pants on.
 
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