LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #1  August 29,2009, 12:12pm
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Has anybody felt that you met a wonderful person yet your 'activities' don't mesh?

If somebody is full force into X activity and you are full force into Y activity, do you think the relationship can work? Meaning almost every weekend (in good weather) will be apart doing our respective activity?
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #2  August 29,2009, 12:27pm
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I need some clarification please. Are you talking about a single activity, say during week ends? Or are you meaning a group of or a variety of activities that are some what opposite??
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #3  August 29,2009, 12:29pm
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A runner vs. a biker, a skater vs. a kayaker, a climber vs. a hiker.. two people dedicated to two different sports.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #4  August 29,2009, 12:37pm
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OK that does not sound too bad. Now for the next question;

What is your plans about how much time you spend with each other??

Every possible minute outside of work or do you want to give each other space to do something they really enjoy, but you may not care for?
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #5  August 29,2009, 1:15pm
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Thanks for answering LaughDaily, but I am actually looking for examples of when it worked and when it didn't.

I am the kind of person who bends over backwards (in previous relationships) but now that I am contemplating on going full force on a sport I went out a few times with somebody who is full force on a different sport. Needless to say neither of us has much time for anything and that is great at the beginning of a relationship; BUT is it worth it to pursuing?? (given the fact above).

Is related to time, but also money and passion and support...
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #6  August 29,2009, 1:24pm
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It one has a sense of adventure and a willingness to compromise from time to time, I don't see that there would be much conflict.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  August 29,2009, 1:32pm
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Well, it seems your choice is either to limit your dating to someone involved in the same sport as you, or figure out a way to make it work with someone who has a different interest.

Keep in mind that your enthusiasm for this particular activity may change. Same with your partner's interest in his.

There's lots of couples where one spouse golfs, but the other doesn't. Or one bowls, and the other doesn't. Or one runs and the other doesn't. Or one goes to a book club, and the other doesn't.

Is there some other activity you could also do together? It's always good to have separate activities, as well as couple activities.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #8  August 29,2009, 1:33pm
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OK , so you are one who has made adjustments in previous relationships and thats good. Now maybe you want to consider if this partner may be worth giving up an activity you may really enjoy if I am reading this right?

Time is always a potential problem but is your partner also willing to compromise on their activity as well so maybe you both can reach a good compromise??
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #9  August 29,2009, 1:57pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Well, it seems your choice is either to limit your dating to someone involved in the same sport as you, or figure out a way to make it work with someone who has a different interest.
Aw.. we seem to be on the same page

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
There's lots of couples where one spouse golfs, but the other doesn't. Or one bowls, and the other doesn't. Or one runs and the other doesn't. Or one goes to a book club, and the other doesn't.
Correct, but I usually see this as non-conflicting. One could be bowling or golfing while the other one reads, but I guess both or the activities I am talking about require dedicated weekends, and in general a bunch of training... not that golf and running and pro bowling do not.

Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Is there some other activity you could also do together? It's always good to have separate activities, as well as couple activities.
It is too early and we haven't touched on that, I just see it already a bit as an impediment given the dates we have had (haphazardly last minute on weeknights) in order to accommodate our lifestyles.

I am thinking too much... let's see how this plays .. only time can tell.
 
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LavenderFields is offline LavenderFields Post #10  August 29,2009, 2:03pm
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Laughingdaily wrote :
OK , so you are one who has made adjustments in previous relationships and thats good. Now maybe you want to consider if this partner may be worth giving up an activity you may really enjoy if I am reading this right?
No no no.. I am tired of being the acrobat. I will put my foot down now and I will NOT bend over backwards. I will compromise, but will not let anybody in the early stages change my plans. Before a few months I will start feeling miserable again.... too 'old' and wise for that now.

Laughingdaily wrote :
Time is always a potential problem but is your partner also willing to compromise on their activity as well so maybe you both can reach a good compromise??
It is early on... so I cannot tell. Both of us started these hobbies not so long ago (~ 3 years) and I don't want to ask because let's be honest, I don't want to be asked either since I will probably say no, and who wants to hear that. HA!
 
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