BonnieG is offline BonnieG Post #1  August 28,2009, 3:28pm
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I've got a boyfriend (1year 6 months now), he's generous, very loving and gorgeous. He's really the perfect boyfriend...maybe too perfect at times. He does everything and would do anything for me.

But I'm not in love with him. I broke up with him at the start of the year because I didn't know how I could go on in a relationship when I know I'm not in love. But we kept hanging out, because I do care about him, and he's my best friend now. And gradually we started getting back together, and in the beginning it was quite passionate and I thought maybe with a fresh start it'd work out.

This will sound terrible, but one of the main reasons I'm staying with him is because I like the life we lead, I like hanging out with him and his friends and I don't want to lose all of that. Also in the career that the two of us have, being together makes us a little bit more powerful.

But I've come back to my hometown for the Summer holiday, and I just want to see my ex everyday. And If I don't see him, I'm texting him constantly. I've got it so bad for him. Last night when we were out together with a group of friends, a girl pinched his ass and I had to try so hard to hold it together. And I thought I saw him leave with another girl and I felt sick...I wanna be with him. But we broke up for a reason and as much as I wish it could work, I'm not sure that it would.

Suddenly every guy except from my boyfriend is 10x more attractive. I'm only 19, I want to play...but I've got my ideal man...but I don't love him.

What am I supposed to do?
 
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lolwme is offline lolwme Post #2  August 28,2009, 6:04pm
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I'm a bit confused. You have one perfect man (though at 19 I'd say more exactly, young man) but don't want him; you have an ex and do want him.

Though it seems you are merely jealous of those who also want him. Why doesn't he want you?

Leave them both alone. Go on with your life and find yourself before you start looking for someone else to make you happy.

No one ever will until you find your own happiness within yourself, and then being whole, you will have more to give than receive, and that is the key to loving, not wanting to be loved.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #3  August 28,2009, 8:07pm

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Grow up your very immature or on 2nd. thought maybe it's age appropriate behavior? You lack two traits (1) is integrity (2) you are a social climber and remember what goes around comes around as well.

Harvey7.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  August 28,2009, 8:16pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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BonnieG wrote :
I've got a boyfriend (1year 6 months now), he's generous, very loving and gorgeous. He's really the perfect boyfriend...maybe too perfect at times. He does everything and would do anything for me.

But I'm not in love with him. I broke up with him at the start of the year because I didn't know how I could go on in a relationship when I know I'm not in love. But we kept hanging out, because I do care about him, and he's my best friend now. And gradually we started getting back together, and in the beginning it was quite passionate and I thought maybe with a fresh start it'd work out.

This will sound terrible, but one of the main reasons I'm staying with him is because I like the life we lead, I like hanging out with him and his friends and I don't want to lose all of that. Also in the career that the two of us have, being together makes us a little bit more powerful.

But I've come back to my hometown for the Summer holiday, and I just want to see my ex everyday. And If I don't see him, I'm texting him constantly. I've got it so bad for him. Last night when we were out together with a group of friends, a girl pinched his ass and I had to try so hard to hold it together. And I thought I saw him leave with another girl and I felt sick...I wanna be with him. But we broke up for a reason and as much as I wish it could work, I'm not sure that it would.

Suddenly every guy except from my boyfriend is 10x more attractive. I'm only 19, I want to play...but I've got my ideal man...but I don't love him.

What am I supposed to do?
He might be the ideal man to someone, but he's obviously not your ideal man. If you don't love him, then you owe to both of you to end the relationship for real this time. Yes, it's nice to have someone around who will do anything for you, who can help you stay in the lifestyle you like, whose friends you like, but what's any of that worth if you really aren't happy? And in all honesty, you aren't happy, because if you were, you wouldn't be checking out your ex--or anyone else.

As for your ex, you know what to do there, but I'll play Captain Obvious and say it anyway: keep him as your ex. You said you broke up for a reason and that it wouldn't work out, so why go back to the bad? He'd just be a place holder until something better came along anyway.

You're young and of course you want to play. Why tie yourself down right now? When I was 19 all I wanted to do was have fun, too! So if that's what you want to do, then maybe that's what you really need to do. Enjoy yourself and meet some different people, but don't tie yourself down into relationships with men either out of obligation or just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Best of luck to you!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #5  August 28,2009, 8:17pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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Harvey7 wrote :
Grow up your very immature or on 2nd. thought maybe it's age appropriate behavior? You lack two traits (1) is integrity (2) you are a social climber and remember what goes around comes around as well.

Harvey7.
Cripes Harvey, she's 19! Lighten up!

We're all still learning to aspire towards your perfection...
Last edited by brneyedangel; August 28,2009 at 8:19pm.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #6  August 29,2009, 7:41am
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BonnieG wrote :
I've got a boyfriend (1year 6 months now), he's generous, very loving and gorgeous. He's really the perfect boyfriend...maybe too perfect at times. He does everything and would do anything for me.

But I'm not in love with him. I broke up with him at the start of the year because I didn't know how I could go on in a relationship when I know I'm not in love. But we kept hanging out, because I do care about him, and he's my best friend now. And gradually we started getting back together, and in the beginning it was quite passionate and I thought maybe with a fresh start it'd work out.

This will sound terrible, but one of the main reasons I'm staying with him is because I like the life we lead, I like hanging out with him and his friends and I don't want to lose all of that. Also in the career that the two of us have, being together makes us a little bit more powerful.

But I've come back to my hometown for the Summer holiday, and I just want to see my ex everyday. And If I don't see him, I'm texting him constantly. I've got it so bad for him. Last night when we were out together with a group of friends, a girl pinched his ass and I had to try so hard to hold it together. And I thought I saw him leave with another girl and I felt sick...I wanna be with him. But we broke up for a reason and as much as I wish it could work, I'm not sure that it would.

Suddenly every guy except from my boyfriend is 10x more attractive. I'm only 19, I want to play...but I've got my ideal man...but I don't love him.

What am I supposed to do?
What does love mean to you?
You're still learning about yourself. Take some time to do that. What is it about you that makes you think you're not 'in love' with your 'ideal man?'
Sounds like you're not ready to settle on one man yet - so don't! Give yourself time to gather experience and learn about life. I wouldn't encourage you to 'play' just for the sake of playing - that's a game you can get addicted to, then you end up with a reputation as a player and no decent man will want what's left. But you can and should date different guys, so you have more experience to help you make important life decisions, like who you want to grow old with.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #7  August 29,2009, 10:19am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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Think about this, Bonnie, what kind of favor are you doing your 'boyfriend' by staying with him when you don't love him?

You should let him go so that he can be free to find someone who actually likes him rather than leading him on and keeping him around for your own selfish needs.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  August 29,2009, 10:57am
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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I have to agree with BikerBeagle on this one. Do the right thing. Set him free. You'll both be better off in the long run.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #9  August 29,2009, 11:08am

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brneyedangel wrote :
Cripes Harvey, she's 19! Lighten up!

We're all still learning to aspire towards your perfection...
Brneyedangle,

I did not know there was a minimum age limit for having integrity along with not using people and your best friend for social climbing?

This is an early view of lessons learned, at a young and tender age and five years from now and what do you see?

The truth is the truth and your words of wisdom to her?

Harvey7.
 
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thrashee is offline thrashee Post #10  August 29,2009, 11:10am
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BonnieG,

Here's what you need to do: relax. Why? Because I absolutely promise you you will not be with your current boyfriend OR your ex in a few years' time. Neither will work out, regardless of what you want/don't want/are confused about.

How do I know this? I just do. In a few years' time, you will too.
 
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