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1passionatefem 1passionatefem is offline
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1passionatefem Dreaming about summer vacation

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Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
- August 27th, 2009, 10:28 am
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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1passionatefem wrote :
Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
idk but for me personally this would be a huge red flag. my interpretation is that he has no long term commitment to you. i guess you could say that for him the jury is still out and i always find that to be bad news.
- August 27th, 2009, 10:40 am
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boccabum boccabum is offline
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Five months isn't very long.
What's YOUR definition of a relationship? I don't know what his is. But it sounds like he reserves that word for someone he KNOWS is long term, permanent, and time-tested.
By definition, dating is that stage where you're getting to know someone and figuring out if it would become permanent. To me five months(20 weeks) isn't enough time for that.
Rather than being confused on this, why don't you ask him? Open and free-form communication without the fear of reprisal is another good sign of a strong potential for a relationship.
- August 27th, 2009, 11:09 am
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TrueStory TrueStory is offline
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Stop assigning things labels.


Different people have different understanding of what relationship and dating is.

To some "dating" is preliminary thing before relationship. And it can last anywhere from 1 to 8 months. Doesn't mean that he's not serious. Just means he doesn't want to get hurt.

Some people get into "relationship" right away.

It's just a LABEL nothing more.


The most important part of this is not what you call it but how you feel it.

If he only wants to see you, then WHAT ARE YOU SWEATING ABOUT?
- August 27th, 2009, 11:54 am
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cottoncandy00 cottoncandy00 is offline
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cottoncandy00 cottoncandy do not want update her status,,,,,

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1passionatefem wrote :
Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
To me, he sounds like "playing w/ words"
once you guys agreed upon to be "exclusive" it transit to " relationship" that is how I see it
some guys just have "fear of commitment"
unfortunately
- August 27th, 2009, 11:55 am
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Ms666 Ms666 is offline
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I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:39 pm
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boccabum boccabum is offline
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Ms666 wrote :
I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
Great way to put this! Agree.
I had a debate with some friends as to MY status. If I'm divorced (unmarried) and dating someone exclusive as I "single" or not? I say unless I'm married, I'm single in both the legal and emotional sense. I can be in a committed relationship but unless I'm married (with all the life-long implications that means) I'm still single.
The couple (they are together and consider themselves NOT single even though they aren't married) have never been married. So from my point of view, they don't know what it "feels" like to be married and elevate their status from single to not single - even though they actually are.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:45 pm
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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Nonsense TrueStory, nailed it. It's like a picture and it's subjective thus a label that meets your egotistical needs. You have taken him for granted and are not demanding about the quality of the relationship. He on the other hand has left the door opened for something better to come along.

Why have the both of you failed to establish a true meeting of the minds on what is your relationship? He has failed to elevate you to the position of the love of his life and you just assume that it's so? He would rather have dinner and some loving with you then alone, thus after five months your just dating? I'm not saying that I'm right, but am I wrong? What is missing emotionally?

Harvey7.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:46 pm
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Ms666 wrote :
I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
Same for me. As long as I'm not married, I'm single.
'Relationship' is a very generic term that seems to mean whatever a person feels like at the moment. Look it up in the dictionary - you are in a relationship with your family, your friends, your pets, your coworkers - everyone you ever interact with. Anytime someone uses the word 'relationship' to mean something more specific, they are making up their own definition and you'll just have to ask them what they mean by it.
- August 27th, 2009, 03:43 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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kevin76 wrote :
Same for me. As long as I'm not married, I'm single.
I guess that might be keeping ones options open.

But it is kinda an irregulat verb, eg, have sex, make love, drive each other wild!

My distintion is who I'd like to grow old with. I felt that way twice in my life. But it is a whole lot of fun leading up to that. Honestly, if I'm happy and concern for someone one day, I imagine I'll feel that way the next. Don't think about it much. Life has it curve balls so it doesn't always work out.

Oh, I think girlfriend/boy friend is okay for my adolescent son. Seems silly at my age. But i don't date, I "hang out with" and I'm not in a relationship but "really enjoy being with you" and married or not, "I'm working real hard to make thing the best for the both of use."
- August 27th, 2009, 04:11 pm
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