Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
1passionatefem 1passionatefem is offline
1passionatefem's Avatar

1passionatefem Dreaming about summer vacation

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 295

See profile

Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
- August 27th, 2009, 10:28 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
Nanette Nanette is offline
Nanette's Avatar

Nanette ~

Veteran

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,375

See profile

1passionatefem wrote :
Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
idk but for me personally this would be a huge red flag. my interpretation is that he has no long term commitment to you. i guess you could say that for him the jury is still out and i always find that to be bad news.
- August 27th, 2009, 10:40 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
boccabum boccabum is offline
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

Five months isn't very long.
What's YOUR definition of a relationship? I don't know what his is. But it sounds like he reserves that word for someone he KNOWS is long term, permanent, and time-tested.
By definition, dating is that stage where you're getting to know someone and figuring out if it would become permanent. To me five months(20 weeks) isn't enough time for that.
Rather than being confused on this, why don't you ask him? Open and free-form communication without the fear of reprisal is another good sign of a strong potential for a relationship.
- August 27th, 2009, 11:09 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
TrueStory TrueStory is offline
TrueStory's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 16

See profile

Stop assigning things labels.


Different people have different understanding of what relationship and dating is.

To some "dating" is preliminary thing before relationship. And it can last anywhere from 1 to 8 months. Doesn't mean that he's not serious. Just means he doesn't want to get hurt.

Some people get into "relationship" right away.

It's just a LABEL nothing more.


The most important part of this is not what you call it but how you feel it.

If he only wants to see you, then WHAT ARE YOU SWEATING ABOUT?
- August 27th, 2009, 11:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
cottoncandy00 cottoncandy00 is offline
cottoncandy00's Avatar

cottoncandy00 cottoncandy do not want update her status,,,,,

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 51

See profile

1passionatefem wrote :
Well, my boyfriend of five months again came out with something last night that has me confused. I referred to us as being in a relationship and he defined us as "dating" but that we are exclusive, that he does not want to see anyone else, and that we spend our weekends together. He said we are working towards being in a relationship.

What is your definition of dating and a relationship?
To me, he sounds like "playing w/ words"
once you guys agreed upon to be "exclusive" it transit to " relationship" that is how I see it
some guys just have "fear of commitment"
unfortunately
- August 27th, 2009, 11:55 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Ms666 Ms666 is offline
Ms666's Avatar

Ms666 has never tweeted...unless you count that time she hooked up with Big Bird

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 166

See profile

I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:39 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
boccabum boccabum is offline
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

Ms666 wrote :
I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
Great way to put this! Agree.
I had a debate with some friends as to MY status. If I'm divorced (unmarried) and dating someone exclusive as I "single" or not? I say unless I'm married, I'm single in both the legal and emotional sense. I can be in a committed relationship but unless I'm married (with all the life-long implications that means) I'm still single.
The couple (they are together and consider themselves NOT single even though they aren't married) have never been married. So from my point of view, they don't know what it "feels" like to be married and elevate their status from single to not single - even though they actually are.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:45 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,080

See profile

Nonsense TrueStory, nailed it. It's like a picture and it's subjective thus a label that meets your egotistical needs. You have taken him for granted and are not demanding about the quality of the relationship. He on the other hand has left the door opened for something better to come along.

Why have the both of you failed to establish a true meeting of the minds on what is your relationship? He has failed to elevate you to the position of the love of his life and you just assume that it's so? He would rather have dinner and some loving with you then alone, thus after five months your just dating? I'm not saying that I'm right, but am I wrong? What is missing emotionally?

Harvey7.
- August 27th, 2009, 12:46 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
kevin76 kevin76 is offline
kevin76's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 424

See profile

Ms666 wrote :
I honestly can say I have no idea what a 'relationship' is. As far as I am concerned, I'm 'dating' someone unless he asks me to marry him. My relationship status will always either be 'Single' or 'Married' (). End of story.
Same for me. As long as I'm not married, I'm single.
'Relationship' is a very generic term that seems to mean whatever a person feels like at the moment. Look it up in the dictionary - you are in a relationship with your family, your friends, your pets, your coworkers - everyone you ever interact with. Anytime someone uses the word 'relationship' to mean something more specific, they are making up their own definition and you'll just have to ask them what they mean by it.
- August 27th, 2009, 03:43 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 789

See profile

kevin76 wrote :
Same for me. As long as I'm not married, I'm single.
I guess that might be keeping ones options open.

But it is kinda an irregulat verb, eg, have sex, make love, drive each other wild!

My distintion is who I'd like to grow old with. I felt that way twice in my life. But it is a whole lot of fun leading up to that. Honestly, if I'm happy and concern for someone one day, I imagine I'll feel that way the next. Don't think about it much. Life has it curve balls so it doesn't always work out.

Oh, I think girlfriend/boy friend is okay for my adolescent son. Seems silly at my age. But i don't date, I "hang out with" and I'm not in a relationship but "really enjoy being with you" and married or not, "I'm working real hard to make thing the best for the both of use."
- August 27th, 2009, 04:11 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« 27 wks preggo and he leaves... but theres so much more PLEASE HELP | Array | Breaking the Gender Stereotype »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
She just wants us to be "dating" and not a relationship. secretagent4777 Relationships 21 October 29th, 2009 04:15 pm
6.5yr Relationship..lies..what to do? GabbieChanel Relationships 11 August 11th, 2009 06:33 am
New Relationship Frustration -- What is she thinking!?!? phreelogic Dating 21 July 15th, 2009 09:32 pm
What to Look For Before Elivating Dating to Relationship DennisWisconsin Dating 24 July 2nd, 2009 07:31 am
Dating again after a LONG Break adt6679 Dating 0 June 8th, 2009 03:45 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“So, I seem to be having a problem after sending my must haves/can't stands to some users on here. I think that I know what it is, but wanted the board's advice on it. One of my must haves is ... ” – listererik

Join the “Must Have/Can't Stand Mistake?” discussion

“You think? Sorry couldn't resist. Duh! My god look at some of the threads. He said I had a pretty smile what do you think he meant by that. She said she thought my hair was too long, what do ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Too much thinking going on here...” discussion

“and for the inquiring minds yes it would be fine for a man to take a woman around (if she felt safe with him).” – Nanette

Join the “Rough Start” discussion

“ I don't interrogate, and you know it. Depending on which way the conversation goes I might bring up a television show, like America's Next Top Model, just to see how they respond to a show that ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “Is there ever a misunderstanding???” discussion

“from someone who is "online"” – Nanette

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“If you tell him in conversation about your jobs and school...it wil be implied that you are busy.” – ami1uwant

Join the “Dating when you are busy” discussion

“ Well hello! Vindictive is a very strong word, eh? No, I'd say it is about the furthest thing from me. I don't think I mentioned anywhere that I was crossing him off of some list? And I do ... ” – rybelles

Join the “He keeps looking at my profile, but hasn't sent questions.” discussion

“It's also been my experience that excessive flaking is a sign of excessive self-absorption. There's a reason why the person's unreliable: their agenda is more important than yours!” – Mickey275

Join the “Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:19 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0