OP...these are great responses but please don't compare too much with your situation.

When I first saw my bf's picture online, I stared at it for a long time. I kept thinking to myself "it's a different face but with someone I knew before. Hard to explain...someone I knew before but with a different face.

When I first met him I felt "shooting stars of comfort" and I could not stop smiling.

I also have this feeling inside...I don't cringe with the idea of committing to him and I just don't want to go anywhere. Meaning, I don't feel I can be scared away and whatever we talk about I'll stick around.

In time you'll know the answer.

I'm not married yet but yes, you do know. Let me share my long-winded story.

I met my Soul Mate over 15 years ago. It took us about 10 years to realize that we were soul mates. We didn't have to work to build that spiritual and intellectual connection, we just clicked. We hung out as friends, sometimes alone sometimes in big groups. He made me laugh, longer than anyone else can. He made me think, longer than anyone else can. We just enjoyed some of the cerebral pleasures of life together, like reading, thinking and observing. But we ignored it because we didn't want to be caught dating amongst a speculating circle of friends.

Somewhere in there, I met The One. I had never been so attracted to anyone before, from the moment we met. We dated passionately, had some ups and downs where we didn't feel it was right because we weren't on the same wavelength and we were both still very inexperienced. Then it happened. Because we endured all those ups and down and grew to appreciate each other more and more with each passing moment, we started caring for each other unconditionally and suddenly I saw before me the man I wanted to make babies with.

I was still close friends with my Soul Mate, but the parallel timing with The One led me to realize that I didn't care for my Soul Mate unconditionally. It was weird. The spiritual connection I had with my Soul Mate was so strong, anyone could see it. But that forever-ness wasn't there, because we didn't go through any ups and downs in those 10 years. I did not pursue anything with Soul Mate, even though he ultimately tried to pursue me when he realized that the window was closing.

In the meantime, The One wondered as much as I did whether we were it for each other. We were very, very happy together but not without giving up a lot of our own identity. We tried everything on and off the books, but we were creatures of incredibly different lifestyles and life goals. In the end, The One felt a need to start fresh and pulled away.

Fast forward several years, my The One met His The One. She is beautiful in every way, but he wasn't even attracted to her. They hung out for a while, with nothing transpiring. But they grew on each other and within six months of dating, they couldn't be more in love. They got along incredibly well. He did things for her and proposed to her in lightning speed. I hear some of the stories, and I know that they are far better matches than I ever would be. Their lifestyles and life goals were One. Now I see that I was Ms Good Enough, but not The One for Him.

Now fast forward again -- different time and different place. I met someone that gave him the same feeling as The Old One. I hope he's not just The One #2, but The Actual One. We will see.

For me, how you know he's The One is when you are happy AND content about your shared past, present and future. You are family, best friends and lovers.

Describing it all could be a metaphor or a dense novel. But this article is great:

http://advice.eharmony.com/article/9...t-the-one.html

And maybe from all the postings on this thread, you'll get a better sense of it.

I want to add that things don't have to click instantly ... but you should be your entire self around this person soon enough. If you've spent adequate time with him and you still feel that you can't be yourself around this person, then something's not right.