shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #1  August 25,2009, 9:57pm
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I am at a point where I can handle doing normal daily tasks so long as I don't see my ex-girlfriend anywhere around town.

Tonight, I was listening to the radio as a means of trying to get to sleep... Well, next thing I hear on the radio is this woman saying that she is sitting here with Ray (The guy she's already with).

All of a sudden my mind and anxiety take off like crazy. I decided to take a Zanex in the hopes that it works.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me out here? I am at the point of quitting my job (we work the same shift, same days) because I can't even function normally, and work is on the fence because I am missing more and more time.

Thanks
 
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CRKid321 is offline CRKid321 Post #2  August 25,2009, 10:32pm

is in a good place :)

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shrek99352 wrote :
I am at a point where I can handle doing normal daily tasks so long as I don't see my ex-girlfriend anywhere around town.

Tonight, I was listening to the radio as a means of trying to get to sleep... Well, next thing I hear on the radio is this woman saying that she is sitting here with Ray (The guy she's already with).

All of a sudden my mind and anxiety take off like crazy. I decided to take a Zanex in the hopes that it works.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me out here? I am at the point of quitting my job (we work the same shift, same days) because I can't even function normally, and work is on the fence because I am missing more and more time.

Thanks
I am so sorry you're going through this , i can certainty emphasize how it must feel that she is already with someone else. There is no 1-step cure method, nothing that will take it all away. It takes time, day after day, week after week the pain will slowly go away until it no longer bothers you. It's rough, incredibly rough.

Do things to keep her off your mind. Yes you have work with her, so that's pretty damn rough but afterwards perhaps. Hang out with your buds, do something productive, exercise! (it is such a fantastic way to get rid of bad feelings and at the same time keep in shape). Another thing you do perhaps is to realize in your mind, that it ended for the better. If she could so easily after breaking up go out with someone else, then that isn't someone you should want in your life .

When the time comes, when you have healed and moved on then you will find yourself with an oppurtunity to truly find someone special.

I tell myself this nearly everytime that my mind starts to wander to my ex, and each and every week that passes i find myself having to tell myself that less and less and now its at the point where i barely have to say it. Time will heal all wounds, and realizing that this isn't your loss will only help you heal faster.

Best of luck, i hope you get through this and find yourself happier than ever before
 
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targetgirl43 is offline targetgirl43 Post #3  August 26,2009, 12:07am

decides if I'm happy, nobody else makes that decision.

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Well I can feel your pain. I have the same moments at night. I don't see my ex so that makes it better in my case; and I live far enough away that we don't run into each other.
But the ways I have gotten through the rough nights is to stay busy. Like the previous post; exercise makes you feel better. It clears your head.
I have caught up with my friends, going out for a drink, having someone come over for a visit, reconnecting with old friends.
I have also started volunteering and that makes me feel good, to help others.
Lastly, when I have a really bad night where I can't shut my brain off, I get on my knees and pray. I'm not active in any church right now and not sure how spiritual you are, but I pray for a clear head. I pray for my ex and then thank my Lord for the things I have. It's ok to ask for help from Him or anyone.
A good friend on here reminded me, Time Heals All Wounds.

Best of luck, take care.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #4  August 26,2009, 8:42am
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shrek99352 wrote :
I am at a point where I can handle doing normal daily tasks so long as I don't see my ex-girlfriend anywhere around town.

Tonight, I was listening to the radio as a means of trying to get to sleep... Well, next thing I hear on the radio is this woman saying that she is sitting here with Ray (The guy she's already with).

All of a sudden my mind and anxiety take off like crazy. I decided to take a Zanex in the hopes that it works.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me out here? I am at the point of quitting my job (we work the same shift, same days) because I can't even function normally, and work is on the fence because I am missing more and more time.

Thanks
I'd start by not listening to that radio station any more.

It's going to be rough for a while, but the more you can keep your mind busy with other things, the less time it will have to obsess over an ex.

I'd be very careful using chemical 'solutions' to make you feel better, whether it is Xanax or alcohol. Those things make you numb for a little while but don't really fix the problem, and they can quickly become a crutch, and then an addiction. You need to work through the grieving process to heal, not smother it.

Take up a new hobby, hang out with friends. Give it some time. Things get better.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #5  August 26,2009, 8:58am

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Ahh, honey, that's sad.

It does hurt, it really does cause physical pain... and there isn't a short cut, you've just got to keep on, every day, pushing through it.

Maybe you could start to look out for another job, might be the change you need and somewhere new to put all your energy. My job got my full attention when my heart got broken last year, it does help.

In the meantime cry when you feel like it, bottling it up makes it stay inside for longer and just know you won't always feel this bad.

I'm at that point now where I accept that it didn't last forever and whilst I still miss him I'm looking more forward than back. To get to this point though, I had some very rough nights along the way too.

Treat yourself kindly.
 
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metamucilmuffin is offline metamucilmuffin Post #6  August 26,2009, 12:24pm
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That's a tough one. I think the problem is already serious enough that you need some professional help. Maybe there are some resources at work that can help you; it's in their interest to help you get over this, since your work is already being affected.

In the meantime, if volunteer work doesn't do it for you, could you try getting yourself a pet? Having a companion as you make your way through town will help.

Good luck!
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #7  August 26,2009, 6:37pm
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Think of all the things that are likely to set you off. (Listening to the radio or that particular station.)

Now, schedule your evening so that it avoids doing these things. Figure out TV shows to watch, or books to read, internet sites to visit. HAVE A PLAN before hand.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #8  August 27,2009, 6:52am

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Cognitive psyc.... don't feel sorry for yourself. Instead, feel sorry for your ex's new boyfriend LOL
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #9  August 28,2009, 7:41am
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Update to things...

Well, I contacted my ex via text and tried to make peace with her, instead it's gotten worse and have been getting harassed, BUT there is a silver lining to this cloud.

C L O S U R E

After trying to make peace, and her not wanting it. I found myself very much at peace with my life and the decision to remove myself from the situation.

I do love her, and care about her. But, I am investing my time in my friendships, starting back up at church, and praying... Lots of praying. Most of the time I pray for her, but I usually pray for myself first

The pain is slowly going away, the Zanex is out of the picture, instead I am just concentrating on the future, continuing the use of Lexapro as it is helping me to finally get my chemistry in my brain stabilized, and is helping me to see the full spectrum that I have been missing for so many years.

Thanks a million!
 
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