Dating seems to have changed . I am confused


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princess1 is offline princess1 Post #1  August 25,2009, 1:23am
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I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago I went to a party and had just broke up with him two days before. I told this to a guy whom we were talking we hung out one day he told me I was selfish, and my life seemed like drama. The next time we meet he cursed at me I told him to go away then chaged my mind and then we meet again he said he wasn't that into me and cursed at me again is this normal now a days or is he a jerk?? I talked to another guy at work and told him I was single he said that is cool maybe we could hang out sometimes and one day we did had fun but he doesn't call me he answers my text and sometimes call if I ask him to in text. we talk at work but when I ask him to hang out he always says busy he is 24 is that the problem or what. Another guy is my ex boyfriend friend he hung out with me once then wont answer my calls I dont know why either what is up with men or can someone tell me what am I doing or what has changed about dating before this I got out of marraige and dating one guy then my boyfriend. this new dating seems so stupid I dont understand am I just finding dumb jerks or dating too soon pleae help me..
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #2  August 25,2009, 1:53am
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princess1 wrote :
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago I went to a party and had just broke up with him two days before. I told this to a guy whom we were talking we hung out one day he told me I was selfish, and my life seemed like drama. The next time we meet he cursed at me I told him to go away then chaged my mind and then we meet again he said he wasn't that into me and cursed at me again is this normal now a days or is he a jerk?? I talked to another guy at work and told him I was single he said that is cool maybe we could hang out sometimes and one day we did had fun but he doesn't call me he answers my text and sometimes call if I ask him to in text. we talk at work but when I ask him to hang out he always says busy he is 24 is that the problem or what. Another guy is my ex boyfriend friend he hung out with me once then wont answer my calls I dont know why either what is up with men or can someone tell me what am I doing or what has changed about dating before this I got out of marraige and dating one guy then my boyfriend. this new dating seems so stupid I dont understand am I just finding dumb jerks or dating too soon pleae help me..
It sounds like you might have too much drama or baggage going on, and you're projecting that on your dates.

Plus you are taking a date with a guy way too seriously, and thinking it is more than what it is.

And why are you talking about your ex-boyfriends to your dates? That is NOT first date conversation.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #3  August 25,2009, 4:34am

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princess1 wrote :
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago I went to a party and had just broke up with him two days before. I told this to a guy whom we were talking we hung out one day he told me I was selfish, and my life seemed like drama. The next time we meet he cursed at me I told him to go away then chaged my mind and then we meet again he said he wasn't that into me and cursed at me again is this normal now a days or is he a jerk??

I talked to another guy at work and told him I was single he said that is cool maybe we could hang out sometimes and one day we did had fun but he doesn't call me he answers my text and sometimes call if I ask him to in text. we talk at work but when I ask him to hang out he always says busy he is 24 is that the problem or what.

Another guy is my ex boyfriend friend he hung out with me once then wont answer my calls I dont know why either what is up with men or can someone tell me what am I doing or what has changed about dating before this I got out of marraige and dating one guy then my boyfriend. this new dating seems so stupid I dont understand am I just finding dumb jerks or dating too soon pleae help me..

I'm going to guess you are a good woman judging by your photograph. Sounds like you have a lot going on. I don't know enough to make a judgement. Yes men and women have drastically changed so I guess that has affected dating too.

One guy who you met after you broke up with your boyfriend told you that you have a lot of drama? And that you were self-ish? Is that right? And that next time you met him he cursed at you? At first you asked him to go away but then changed your mind?

And after that, next time you saw him again, he said he really didn't have feelings for you? And he cursed at you again? That must of hurt. Well men don't all act the same way. Sounds like you met the wrong kind of guy for you.

If he cursed at you twice and you did nothing to instigate it, then yes he is a jerk. The 2nd guy at work you say is 24, hung out with you once and not anymore. Well us fellas want the "goods" and some of us are not honest. Maybe he's not right for you?

The third guy who is your ex-boyfriend's friend. Is he young too? Perhaps younger men don't commit to a relationship as much as men in their forties? Or if you make it too easy for them to hang out with you, maybe they are getting the wrong idea about you?

Just guessing and don't mean to offend you. I'd suggest for you to take it slower per not hanging out with them in the beginning. Maybe you can talk with them more on the phone before meeting them?

That way you might be able to weed out the fellas who only want to use you? I don't know what else to say. Good luck
 
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DreamingOfJustice is offline DreamingOfJustice Post #4  August 25,2009, 5:29am
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I am just adding another angle: wait until you get your own head sorted out before you engage any guys at all.

You sound as if you need some serious space alone to figure out what sort of man you dont want...but also..what sort of woman are you, yourself?

Go find some outside activities, that will get you in the mix with different men-men with interests, and men with well rounded lives. One such place is Habitat for Humanity (www.habitat.org) ...here you have socially conscientious people, who arent afraid to get their hands dusty, whom you will be working in close contact with for a few days..You know, it's an idea!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  August 25,2009, 5:30am
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Well.....why in the world would you even consider going out with someone who is rude to you and curses at you? No, men do not normally act like this and if this one did, yes he is a complete jerk. Sounds to me like you are going after men who are not really interested in you. Also, do not discuss your ex's with your dates - that is drama and will turn them away from you.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  August 25,2009, 5:40am
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princess1 wrote :
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago I went to a party and had just broke up with him two days before. I told this to a guy whom we were talking we hung out one day he told me I was selfish, and my life seemed like drama. The next time we meet he cursed at me I told him to go away then chaged my mind and then we meet again he said he wasn't that into me and cursed at me again is this normal now a days or is he a jerk?? I talked to another guy at work and told him I was single he said that is cool maybe we could hang out sometimes and one day we did had fun but he doesn't call me he answers my text and sometimes call if I ask him to in text. we talk at work but when I ask him to hang out he always says busy he is 24 is that the problem or what. Another guy is my ex boyfriend friend he hung out with me once then wont answer my calls I dont know why either what is up with men or can someone tell me what am I doing or what has changed about dating before this I got out of marraige and dating one guy then my boyfriend. this new dating seems so stupid I dont understand am I just finding dumb jerks or dating too soon pleae help me..
they may be jerks but you also need to quit. pursuing. men.
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #7  August 25,2009, 8:25am
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Mr_Right wrote :
It sounds like you might have too much drama or baggage going on, and you're projecting that on your dates.

Plus you are taking a date with a guy way too seriously, and thinking it is more than what it is.

And why are you talking about your ex-boyfriends to your dates? That is NOT first date conversation.
Absolute double ditto.... had to read 3 times ... need to slow down, just stay away from the jerks.

Roguewolf"I'm going to guess you are a good woman judging by your photograph. "
Judging by photograph ?????

X 2 for Dancing fool and DOJustice

"fixed" Nannette's : "many may be jerks but you also need to quit pursuing jerks. "
Pursue the seemingly boring ones... you may be really surprised .
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #8  August 25,2009, 8:50am

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princess1 wrote :
I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago I went to a party and had just broke up with him two days before. I told this to a guy whom we were talking we hung out one day he told me I was selfish, and my life seemed like drama. The next time we meet he cursed at me I told him to go away then chaged my mind and then we meet again he said he wasn't that into me and cursed at me again is this normal now a days or is he a jerk?? I talked to another guy at work and told him I was single he said that is cool maybe we could hang out sometimes and one day we did had fun but he doesn't call me he answers my text and sometimes call if I ask him to in text. we talk at work but when I ask him to hang out he always says busy he is 24 is that the problem or what. Another guy is my ex boyfriend friend he hung out with me once then wont answer my calls I dont know why either what is up with men or can someone tell me what am I doing or what has changed about dating before this I got out of marraige and dating one guy then my boyfriend. this new dating seems so stupid I dont understand am I just finding dumb jerks or dating too soon pleae help me..
It seems like your trying to skip over the getting to know "all about you" phase and get right into the dating part. No one wants to hear about your dirty laundry, old boyfriends or failed relationships. You seem very aggressive and that is do in part to your lack of patience to play the mating or dating game of small talk and getting to know someone and the both of you make a mutual decision to spend time together. Which is far different then hanging out! (Playing games and drinking beers is different then trying to establish a level of intimacy with friendship possibly leading to romance?)

What else is different women were very famine in dress and manner verses if you want something you have to be aggressive and go get it. That means being a Painted Pony, hair, nails, make up and dressing very nicely as if your out for your Sunday walk. A lot of ladies dress like slobs and are to lazy to dress nicely or to get there hair or make up done, because they just don't care what other people think and feel people will like them for themselves! (Which is HaHaHa!)

What I think is that your out of sync with the voice in your head. You could use some short term therapy to rid yourself of the baggage that your carrying around with you. It's making you insecure about who you are and what type of guy that you really want for yourself.

Harvey7.
 
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TheTraveller is offline TheTraveller Post #9  August 25,2009, 9:27am
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DancingFool wrote :
Well.....why in the world would you even consider going out with someone who is rude to you and curses at you? No, men do not normally act like this and if this one did, yes he is a complete jerk. Sounds to me like you are going after men who are not really interested in you. Also, do not discuss your ex's with your dates - that is drama and will turn them away from you.

Yes, the dating world seems to have changed quite a bit. Someone recommended a fabulous book (geared for women...but maybe useful to men too) about dating....I highly recommend it: Be Your Own Dating Service by Nina Atwood. I certainly got a lot out of it. Good luck.
 
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