Love me, love my family, is this just his pattern?


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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #11  August 25,2009, 4:26pm
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This family question doesn't seem like the real problem.
In your post you didn't mention one positive thing about this guy. Is there anything about him you like? If no, then why are you living together?
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #12  August 26,2009, 11:36am
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In reading your post, this relationship seems out of balance, and you sound unhappy, or at the very least majorly frustrated. You seem to be working overtime forcing this relationship to fit your vision of ideal, while it appears as if he just slipped you in a vacant slot slugged "live-in girlfriend" and continued on with his life as usual. I could be wrong but that's the impression I get.

So, why are you with a man who doesn't share your concept of family life? Did you think if he was constantly around your family, he would come to feel what you feel for your relatives?

Why did you give up spending time with your girlfriends? Did he ask you to do this? Who did the cleaning and stuff before you moved in?

You seem concerned about his string of live-in girlfriends. Didn't you know this was his pattern before you moved in with him? Didn't you realize he was unlikely to change in this regard?

Why are you with a man you don't say anything positive about?
 
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metamucilmuffin is offline metamucilmuffin Post #13  August 26,2009, 1:39pm
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The acid test is simple: does your bf ever do things with your family (or FOR your family) without you there? It doesn't have to be something big. It could be as seemingly inconsequential as mentioning a tire sale to your brother, because he remembered seeing some balding treads. If he has formed his own relationship with your family, don't worry about the odd Labor Day. If he has to be prodded to think of your family at all, then you have your answer.

Personally I think you already know the answer, but hopefully I'm wrong.
 
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