Tenniebop is offline Tenniebop Post #1  August 19,2009, 3:33pm
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I met a great guy online and we communicated for several weeks (texts, phone calls) before going on our first date three weeks ago. There was an immediate connection--we started by playing a sport, went to dinner, and felt so comfortable with each other, we went out on his boat until 3 a.m.! He was a perfect gentleman and did not push for anything more than conversation, nice kisses and cuddles while enjoying an amazing summer evening.

Since then, we have communicated via texts and calls every day, and I've even managed to let him initiate most of these contacts. Since he is very busy with work, had out of town guests, and went on a 10-day vacation, we didn't have our second date until 3 weeks after the first.

There is AMAZING electricity between us that neither of us try to deny or keep secret (there's plenty of flirting and innuendo involved, too), but I don't want to let things become physical too soon and risk a fiery burnout, rather than developing a "slow burn." After all, we're looking at only two dates in 3 weeks and that's WAY too soon.

So...does anyone else experience these situations where you know each other REALLY well online, then it seems like you get ahead of your ACTUAL dating time and contact?

P.S. I should also mention: I know he still visits his dating site (and he knows I know).
 
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1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #2  August 20,2009, 12:30pm
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You should be visiting your dating site to. This is way to early. Take it from me I just went through this and know 4 months into the relationship there are red flags. We did wait to sleep together but everything else-as I love you, etc. came way to quick.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  August 20,2009, 1:15pm
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Most slick players like this one will give you"amazing electricity", because they are so practiced at it....... he's got the whole set up, the boat, the out of town trips, etc. All
depends on what you want, for a good time, he'll be fun and exciting (and very "busy" without you)..,... or a long term relationship with someone serious with perhaps equally great chemistry...
Tenniebop wrote :
I met a great guy online and we communicated for several weeks (texts, phone calls) before going on our first date three weeks ago. There was an immediate connection--we started by playing a sport, went to dinner, and felt so comfortable with each other, we went out on his boat until 3 a.m.! He was a perfect gentleman and did not push for anything more than conversation, nice kisses and cuddles while enjoying an amazing summer evening.
Since then, we have communicated via texts and calls every day, and I've even managed to let him initiate most of these contacts. Since he is very busy with work, had out of town guests, and went on a 10-day vacation, we didn't have our second date until 3 weeks after the first.
There is AMAZING electricity between us that neither of us try to deny or keep secret (there's plenty of flirting and innuendo involved, too), but I don't want to let things become physical too soon and risk a fiery burnout, rather than developing a "slow burn." After all, we're looking at only two dates in 3 weeks and that's WAY too soon.
So...does anyone else experience these situations where you know each other REALLY well online, then it seems like you get ahead of your ACTUAL dating time and contact?
P.S. I should also mention: I know he still visits his dating site (and he knows I know).
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 20,2009, 1:51pm
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I actually had something a little bit similar happen with a former colleague. He worked in the corporate office and I worked at a satellite office not too far away. We had to work on a project together and became fast friends. He sometimes had to come to our office to talk to me or others and we would go to lunch together. I think we talked on the phone and emailed for at least a month before we first met. We started seeing each other outside of work as friends. He would invite me to his alumni events. Mind you this whole time we were buddies but we had amazing chemistry together. We were very close. People thought we were dating. They would stare at me when I walked back in the office after they were all glued to the window watching us talk in the parking lot.

We never dated and were never anything other than friends, but I think that the numerous phone calls and the emails between us had a lot to do with us being so connected on the occasions that we were together.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #5  August 20,2009, 2:39pm

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Tenniebop wrote :
So...does anyone else experience these situations where you know each other REALLY well online, then it seems like you get ahead of your ACTUAL dating time and contact? .
Some people take dating way too seriously, as if it was an exacting science or discipline.

Lighten up.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #6  August 20,2009, 3:06pm
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Tenniebop wrote :
P.S. I should also mention: I know he still visits his dating site (and he knows I know).
Ah, but does he know that you know that he knows that you know that he still visits... well, you know. Because clearly you know that he knows that you know that he still visits them.
 
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Chirpy is offline Chirpy Post #7  August 21,2009, 4:39am
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My advice is to take it slow. It's so easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. Just gone (going) through a relationship of a only a few weeks with a guy I met on EH. We had amazing chemistry, a great time (he has a boat too!), etc. etc. It happened way too fast - text messages all day long, weekends together. Now he has totally backed off and I don't know what went wrong. Be careful and think with your head!

Oh, and he told me he had taken himself off "matching" within the first couple of weeks which I was rather surprised at.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  August 21,2009, 6:52am
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This is very familiar to me. When i was on EH, i met this one woman who did exactly that. We only had 3 dates but it spanned two months. We IMmed and talked to one another, but we didn't actually see each other except those three times. There was chemistry between us and she had a way of making me feel amazing. I can't explain that.

What i ended up doing, was not putting all my eggs in one basket. I continued to see other people. We had not made an exclusive relationship, and she knew that. I did really want to continue seeing her, but her travels and other previous family engagements made it hard to get together. She also lived an hour (without traffic) away through bad traffic, so the logistics of getting together was a little difficult.

What happened was that I ended up with someone else. I learned that when dating, its like a flame that you have to keep it going, or it will go out. When dating and trying to solidify a relationship, it takes both sides. When one side can't commit or help keep that flame going, it will go out. We talked afterwards, and she felt bad that there was so much going on in her life that she wasn't able to really give us a shot. I really think something could have come out of it, but I sleep well at night with no regrets, because I did make myself available for her. I left that dating experience with fond memories and no regrets.

Advice for tenniebop. Enjoy these feelings. Pursue the relationship,but don't put too much expectation on it. Do things you enjoy, but don't do things because you have an ulterior motive. If you feel that you're ready to have sex with him, do so because you feel that connection and want to explore it. Don't do it because you think it will "further" the relationship. Nothing kills a relationship faster than miscommunication or deceit..
Last edited by Dafearon; August 21,2009 at 6:55am.
 
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Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #9  August 21,2009, 5:16pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Most slick players like this one will give you"amazing electricity", because they are so practiced at it....... he's got the whole set up, the boat, the out of town trips, etc. All
depends on what you want, for a good time, he'll be fun and exciting (and very "busy" without you)..,... or a long term relationship with someone serious with perhaps equally great chemistry...
From what the OP wrote I don't see that he is a player. He could very well be supah busy and their schedules don't mesh at this time.

As another poster stated, I find that if it is often this hard to spend time together, the flame does die out.

I would try to take it a bit slow, see what the not too distant future's schedule looks like, and go from there.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #10  August 21,2009, 8:42pm
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Mainah64 wrote :
From what the OP wrote I don't see that he is a player. He could very well be supah busy and their schedules don't mesh at this time.

As another poster stated, I find that if it is often this hard to spend time together, the flame does die out.

I would try to take it a bit slow, see what the not too distant future's schedule looks like, and go from there.
While the highlighted statement can certainly be true, sometimes it causes you to work a little harder on the relationship when you have to work to make time for each other.
 
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