forcing him to have the dreaded talk


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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #1  August 19,2009, 12:31pm
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So I'm stuck in this complicated situation with a lot of ups and downs. It's been so confusing and tiring that I'm forcing him to have the talk.

I know, I know, guys don't like to "talk" but I'd rather do that than spin my wheels.

It has nowhere to go but up.

Even if it goes down crashing and burning, at least it'll be over. What a relief!
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #2  August 19,2009, 12:52pm
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If the prospect of going your separate ways will be that much of a relief, why not just forego the relationship talk and end it outright?
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #3  August 19,2009, 3:02pm
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Actions I can control. Feelings I can't.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #4  August 19,2009, 3:23pm
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Feelings and emotions are controllable. No "talk" is necessary. Just end it.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #5  August 19,2009, 3:49pm
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There is a misconception that "guys" don't want to have "relationship" talks. I've been on EH for four years trying to find someone to have "relationship" talk with.

The problem stems from the fact that you want to have the "relationship" talk with the WRONG guys. (For the most part) Guys in the twenties and early thirties don't really want real relationships. Some sex and some companionship, and then drinking with their buddies.

If a guy is at a point in his life where he really wants a committed relationship, the talk will occur naturally. As you intellectually know but can't face emotionally yet is that your relationship IS ALREADY OVER. If it takes calling him on the mat to do this, then so be it. Understand:

Guys will say anything to get what they want. Some guys will deny this... If it gets them what they want.
 
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GypsyWillow is offline GypsyWillow Post #6  August 19,2009, 4:13pm
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Right from the beginning I feel that it is ok to let your intentions known and inquire of the intentions of another.

Personally I am in hopes of finding a long lasting relationship. Period. Those are my intentions. I don't feel that there is any thing wrong with asking what the intentions of your matches are.

I am new to eHarmony so this could be very bad advice I don't know. I do know this, that it is very honest and how bad can honesty be?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #7  August 19,2009, 4:17pm
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GypsyWillow wrote :
...
I am new to eHarmony so this could be very bad advice I don't know. I do know this, that it is very honest and how bad can honesty be?
EH members tend to be people that are serious about establishing a long term relationship so this is not bad advice in that context. This does, however, need to be tempered by not planning your wedding on the first date.
 
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Babily is offline Babily Post #8  August 19,2009, 5:01pm
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Communication is very important in a relationship. If you two can't talk, I would say there is not much hope for the future.
Best of luck to you!
 
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GypsyWillow is offline GypsyWillow Post #9  August 19,2009, 5:18pm
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DDjr wrote :
EH members tend to be people that are serious about establishing a long term relationship so this is not bad advice in that context. This does, however, need to be tempered by not planning your wedding on the first date.
I totally agree with you about wedding plans. But by being upfront I find it a good way to weed out people that are not putting themselves out there on eH for the same reasons as you may be. Some people are just looking for dating or playing the dating game with no intention of settling down. Which is fine, but intentions need to be clarified early.
 
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dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #10  August 19,2009, 6:18pm
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far from it...

thanks for the replies tho.
 
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