Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
beentherehavetee beentherehavetee is offline
beentherehavetee's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 158

See profile

How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.

This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
- August 19th, 2009, 11:17 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
Nanette Nanette is offline
Nanette's Avatar

Nanette ~

Veteran

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,395

See profile

are you male or female? i am going to guess female, and if you called a guy out on anything i would consider it case closed and move on. and not do it again.

if you are a guy she is either telling you to get lost or you are on corrective behavior. if you go away then oh well. if not, youre still a contender
- August 19th, 2009, 11:27 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
DancingFool DancingFool is offline
DancingFool's Avatar

DancingFool wishes the rain would go away...

Veteran

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 1,756

See profile

A better question is do you even want to give a person like that the time of day? Pretty sure there are better and more mature people out there, unless of course this kind of drama appeals to you.
- August 19th, 2009, 11:32 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr KungFuFtr is offline
KungFuFtr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 735

See profile

Yeah, the silent treatment is sooo melodramatic. It's like quitting or playing denial to communication. To me... it seems like a power/control issue on their part.

Your concern about the relationship is a valid and your partner is using this distraction to perhaps gain some time. Childish indeed.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
Wiseman2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 589

See profile

This depends on the "comment".... Did it come across as possessive? Is he "not doing enough"? or "too independent"? Obviously it was a complaint, that he lacks "commitment".
Here's a tip:
Start complaining about any of the above, especially early on, and the needy-needle goes off the dial.

Let the guy process whatever it is, your comment was. Pestering him with pleas for more dialogue via text, email phone etc. will put the needy-needle in full tilt.

Try backing off ...you had your say.. let him think about it.

beentherehavetee wrote :
How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.
This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
- August 19th, 2009, 12:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

waypoint_finder waypoint_finder is offline
waypoint_finder's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 213

See profile

So... he needs to think about your question and in the meantime you blow it out of porportion, come to the internet complaining and are calling him childish?

Instead of questioning his integrity, why don't you two sit down and discuss why you can't hold a civil conversation (and do so in private)?
- August 19th, 2009, 12:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
boccabum boccabum is offline
boccabum's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 976

See profile

Nanette wrote :
are you male or female? i am going to guess female, and if you called a guy out on anything i would consider it case closed and move on. and not do it again.

if you are a guy she is either telling you to get lost or you are on corrective behavior. if you go away then oh well. if not, youre still a contender
That's very sexist. What does it matter if you're a guy or a gal? The "silent" treatment from any gender is a form of passive/aggressive manipulation and is childish at a minimal. To say that the silent treatment from a man is wrong but from a woman is OK actually says very little about a woman's ability to communicate like an adult.

To the OP: respect the other person's request for time to think things through and to contact you when he/she is ready to talk. Trying to speak to them when they don't want to speak is nagging.
Last edited by boccabum; August 19th, 2009 at 12:52 pm. Reason: punctuation
- August 19th, 2009, 12:49 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Bouffy Bouffy is offline
Bouffy's Avatar

Bouffy isn't as easy to see through as you think.

Quick Study

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 101

See profile

beentherehavetee wrote :
How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.

This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
I hate girls that do this. Its like a slap in the face. I never let it escalate to this. Living in limbo is no way to leave a relationship. I personally will pull teeth to get the responses I want. I don't care if its 'hurtful' or whatever.

In a situation where its become the silent treatment, I'd simply disassociate. I would let the machine take her calls, and wouldn't speak to her at all. Tit for tat. For just as long as she made me wait. I find it hurtful to be treated like a second rate citizen, put in 'time out' for bothering her 'sensibilities'

Screw that. If she wants to be an adult and talk about the issue then great! If she wants to hunker down and play the aloof, moody girl then let her pout by herself. It's just an attention grab; and a weak one at that.

If you want to send her an email to let her know your position then do that. Keep it short, keep it simple. Then just focus on other parts of your life until she comes back or you meet someone better. Don't talk about emotions though, just tell her the way it is; and don't change later.
- August 19th, 2009, 01:08 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
beentherehavetee beentherehavetee is offline
beentherehavetee's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 158

See profile

[
Instead of questioning his integrity, why don't you two sit down and discuss why you can't hold a civil conversation (and do so in private)?[/quote]

Uhhhh.....I'm getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Thank you.
- August 19th, 2009, 01:51 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
beentherehavetee beentherehavetee is offline
beentherehavetee's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 158

See profile

Well if someone has been promising you something all summer and they have had several opportunities to come through and haven't and you ask, "What's up with this?" I don't think it's nagging or needy. Relationship is not new.

Personally, I agree with most of the posters...who needs the drama.

A couple should be able to sit and talk and sort things out. What does one gain in clamming up and refsuing to talk to the other person? Oh well. You live and learn......
- August 19th, 2009, 02:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« How do you know when to end a friendship? | Array | At what age? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Treatment for depression; to tell or not to tell sc4me Dating 30 June 9th, 2009 09:42 pm
When is Biden going to get the Bush treatment???? lizard47 Politics 19 May 20th, 2009 05:58 pm
Why do men give you the silent treatment? Sunshine_7 Dating 2 May 16th, 2009 09:32 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“No, you are missing the point that I was commenting on another aspect of it. Was my post that hard to understand? BTW, if the message she sent was the worse thing anyone ever said, that wouldn't be ... ” – Rustman

Join the “Stay Classy Matches” discussion

“I wish I could tell you Yuppa since I've never accepted one, I'm not quite sure how it does work. I'm assuming it's where your phone number and your match's phone number are hidden from one another. ... ” – my5cents

Join the “free weekend coming up” discussion

“There are men who run away if they find out a woman is widowed rather than divorced? How messed up is that? Do women do this, too?” – mrflyer

Join the “widow or single?” discussion

“I think it takes some time to decide if I personally am attracted to a guy. So I take that time in the initial meeting to find out more about him and to see if we have somewhat of a connection. As ... ” – my5cents

Join the “Ladies, do you decide in the first 30 seconds if you're interetsed? And, what are you looking for in a first impression?” discussion

“You know you can block certain things from people on facebook. Not just everything to everyone, but individual things to individual people too. Take a cruise around your settings and see what you ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion

“I would give up monogamy.” – mrflyer

Join the “Dacrifice” discussion

“Waitresses do this kind of thing all the time, just on a smaller scale. I'm just stunned that someone wouldn't see through this when the person stands to make a large commission if the sale goes ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “I fell in love with my car salesman,someone help me” discussion

“Email, call..smoke signals...etc same difference. She contacted you....(even when you did not contact her). Most people are not that friendly when it comes to activity group. Once you're gone, you're ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Met this girl at an activity group and confused once again.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:52 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0