The Silent Treatment! What is that about?


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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #1  August 19,2009, 10:17am
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How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.

This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  August 19,2009, 10:27am
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are you male or female? i am going to guess female, and if you called a guy out on anything i would consider it case closed and move on. and not do it again.

if you are a guy she is either telling you to get lost or you are on corrective behavior. if you go away then oh well. if not, youre still a contender
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  August 19,2009, 10:32am
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A better question is do you even want to give a person like that the time of day? Pretty sure there are better and more mature people out there, unless of course this kind of drama appeals to you.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #4  August 19,2009, 11:05am
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Yeah, the silent treatment is sooo melodramatic. It's like quitting or playing denial to communication. To me... it seems like a power/control issue on their part.

Your concern about the relationship is a valid and your partner is using this distraction to perhaps gain some time. Childish indeed.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #5  August 19,2009, 11:08am
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This depends on the "comment".... Did it come across as possessive? Is he "not doing enough"? or "too independent"? Obviously it was a complaint, that he lacks "commitment".
Here's a tip:
Start complaining about any of the above, especially early on, and the needy-needle goes off the dial.

Let the guy process whatever it is, your comment was. Pestering him with pleas for more dialogue via text, email phone etc. will put the needy-needle in full tilt.

Try backing off ...you had your say.. let him think about it.

beentherehavetee wrote :
How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.
This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #6  August 19,2009, 11:28am

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So... he needs to think about your question and in the meantime you blow it out of porportion, come to the internet complaining and are calling him childish?

Instead of questioning his integrity, why don't you two sit down and discuss why you can't hold a civil conversation (and do so in private)?
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #7  August 19,2009, 11:49am
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Nanette wrote :
are you male or female? i am going to guess female, and if you called a guy out on anything i would consider it case closed and move on. and not do it again.

if you are a guy she is either telling you to get lost or you are on corrective behavior. if you go away then oh well. if not, youre still a contender
That's very sexist. What does it matter if you're a guy or a gal? The "silent" treatment from any gender is a form of passive/aggressive manipulation and is childish at a minimal. To say that the silent treatment from a man is wrong but from a woman is OK actually says very little about a woman's ability to communicate like an adult.

To the OP: respect the other person's request for time to think things through and to contact you when he/she is ready to talk. Trying to speak to them when they don't want to speak is nagging.
Last edited by boccabum; August 19,2009 at 11:52am. Reason: punctuation
 
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Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #8  August 19,2009, 12:08pm
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beentherehavetee wrote :
How do you handle this? You made a comment questioning your partner's commitment to the relationship and your partner claims to be very upset and needs to calm down. You are getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Do you try contacting the person who is supposedly mentally injured by your behavior, or do you just wait until the other person comes around and calms down and contacts you.

This is so childish! Do people not talk over disagreements anymore? So, what would you do: wait it out, call, email, text, all, or get your walking shoes ready.
I hate girls that do this. Its like a slap in the face. I never let it escalate to this. Living in limbo is no way to leave a relationship. I personally will pull teeth to get the responses I want. I don't care if its 'hurtful' or whatever.

In a situation where its become the silent treatment, I'd simply disassociate. I would let the machine take her calls, and wouldn't speak to her at all. Tit for tat. For just as long as she made me wait. I find it hurtful to be treated like a second rate citizen, put in 'time out' for bothering her 'sensibilities'

Screw that. If she wants to be an adult and talk about the issue then great! If she wants to hunker down and play the aloof, moody girl then let her pout by herself. It's just an attention grab; and a weak one at that.

If you want to send her an email to let her know your position then do that. Keep it short, keep it simple. Then just focus on other parts of your life until she comes back or you meet someone better. Don't talk about emotions though, just tell her the way it is; and don't change later.
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #9  August 19,2009, 12:51pm
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[
Instead of questioning his integrity, why don't you two sit down and discuss why you can't hold a civil conversation (and do so in private)?[/quote]

Uhhhh.....I'm getting the SILENT TREATMENT! Thank you.
 
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beentherehavetee is offline beentherehavetee Post #10  August 19,2009, 1:00pm
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Well if someone has been promising you something all summer and they have had several opportunities to come through and haven't and you ask, "What's up with this?" I don't think it's nagging or needy. Relationship is not new.

Personally, I agree with most of the posters...who needs the drama.

A couple should be able to sit and talk and sort things out. What does one gain in clamming up and refsuing to talk to the other person? Oh well. You live and learn......
 
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