Hi there. It took a lot of tears to end up coming here for advice but I'm hoping I can get some real world insight to help me make a decision. I've been seeing a guy for over 8 months now and I'll try to give a bit of backstory.

I've lived with someone and have been in a longer relationship than he has, he's been in a several year long relationship but has never been this serious about someone. He's still at the point where he doesn't think about moving in or longer commitment yet. I obviously do but I don't ask or expect any of this for him, and he knows that. I'm content with things now.

The problem is how immature and inconsiderate he can be. This guy is someone who I genuinely fell head over heels for. We have so much in common, yet he's so different from anyone I had ever dated. He does all the small things... brings me flowers every month or two, is always offering to drive me to appointments or work, he tells me I'm beautiful every day... and while these things are all wonderful and already overshooting my expectations, my issue is with how he talks to me. He does all this great gentlemanly stuff, seems like the most caring guy around, yet he talks to me like one of the guys. He is rude, selfish, inconsiderate... he knows I'm a little sensitive but when he says something that I acknowledge hurts me, he says "whatever" or just brushes it off. And this repeats over and over.

I don't want him to change who he is. That's not what I want and that's not why I love him, but is it too much to ask to be interacted with like a long term girlfriend, not just a friend? He never apologizes or when he does it's the next day after a night of it escalating and me ending up very upset.

For some smaller incidents, it seems like he makes all his plans revolving around him and not me. He went to the cabin recently and said it was a guy's weekend. He got me to write down the directions from his friend but the friend was surprised when I said I wasn't coming, they all assumed I was, then when he was back from the lake I found out there were other girls there (none of which there's any chance of him cheating, but still).

Recently HE suggested we plan a trip together for next summer. We talked about money, where to go, if we should go with other people, and I've never seen him so excited about anything as he was about OUR trip! He even said we should try to learn a language together, and we agreed if we plan this and something else happens we'd go as friends, just in case. This all sounded great, but then the next day he was suddenly really reserved about it. He doesn't think it's a good idea we go away together (we already have, a big road trip together and also flew somewhere else in the country with one of his friends). What the heck just happened here?!

I hope I'm not just blinding in seeing things going downhill, because I genuinely don't want to let this one go. Not yet. I'm ready and open to do or say anything I can to make him understand how I feel. Yes I have tried talking to him and telling him how I feel he's treating me, but his response is either "call me when you calm down" or "driving you around, telling you you're beautiful, etc isn't enough?" How do I get through?! I just have no idea to get him to show me a little more respect when he talks to me because so far I'm not going anywhere and am ready to walk away.