33tomh is offline 33tomh Post #1  August 18,2009, 8:52am
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Wondering, how many of YOUR eHarmony Can't Stands are a direct reflection of your past marriage or a recent serious relationship ?

Most of mine are.
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #2  August 18,2009, 9:16am
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33tomh wrote :
Wondering, how many of YOUR eHarmony Can't Stands are a direct reflection of your past marriage or a recent serious relationship ?

Most of mine are.
I would have to go back and look at them but I would not be surprised if that were true, if not the last relationship but a compilation of all the relationships I have had.
 
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waypoint_finder is offline waypoint_finder Post #3  August 18,2009, 3:13pm

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None of my "can't stands' have anything to do with past relationships. I simply will not tolerate phony @ssed people.
 
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Joti is offline Joti Post #4  February 15,2010, 12:20pm
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33tomh wrote :
Wondering, how many of YOUR eHarmony Can't Stands are a direct reflection of your past marriage or a recent serious relationship ?

Most of mine are.
mine too. live and learn
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  February 15,2010, 2:25pm
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That and the way I was raised.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  February 15,2010, 3:43pm
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33tomh wrote :
Wondering, how many of YOUR eHarmony Can't Stands are a direct reflection of your past marriage or a recent serious relationship ?
None of them. I just looked at the list and picked the ones I agreed with the most. Same for the Must Haves.
 
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Joti is offline Joti Post #7  February 16,2010, 6:54am
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I shouldn't even have to mention my can't stands:
Racists, Addicts, Liars, Cheaters, Hypocrites, Poor Hygiene, intolerant, fiscally irresponsible.
Aren't these pretty much understood?
Fiscally Irresponsible... I can't stand someone who is incapable of managing their money.Lying... I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.Poor Hygiene... I can't stand someone who is not clean.Racist... I can't stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which they belong is superior to the rest of humanity.Cheating... I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.Addictions... I can't stand someone who currently suffers from addictions.Drugs... I can't stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs.Infidelity... I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.Hypocrites... I can't stand someone who holds a double standard for their actions and those of other people.Intolerance... While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can't stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that their particular faith is the only one that matters.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #8  February 16,2010, 7:44am
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Great question. A few are from live and learn experiences, but most are my basic likes and dislikes. If too many are from the "not like my ex" department, then it's more reaction than action from within
33tomh wrote :
Wondering, how many of YOUR eHarmony Can't Stands are a direct reflection of your past marriage or a recent serious relationship ?
Most of mine are.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #9  February 16,2010, 7:58am
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Old thread, but I'll bite....

I never had CS's when I was younger 'cause I didn't know any better. As I have grown through the years, I noticed that my CS list was getting longer and longer (and heavier) based on my experiences with dating and relationships. I decided my list was wayyyyyy too long and cumbersome by the time I reached mid-40's and adjusted it to fit on a small post-it (front-side only!).

With that said, when I turned 50 last year, I decided to shorten my list even more to fit on a pinhead. So now my CS just states clearly that I cannot stand mendacity and mendacious folks. Everything else naturally falls into place as a CS...as Joti and others here have stated....
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #10  February 16,2010, 8:17am
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legend29 wrote :
So now my CS just states clearly that I cannot stand mendacity and mendacious folks.
Better supply a dictionary with your must have/can't stand. You could just say liars.

Only having fun with ya!
 
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