shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #1  August 16,2009, 5:56pm
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Since my ex and I broke up over a week ago, I have been noticing an interesting change in myself. I now look at people in a completely different manner, especially women, and I don't understand it.

I went out to lunch with a friend I have known for about a year, and found myself watching eye contact, body language, emotional reactions, and other such things.

How is it that I am just now getting to a point of being able to do this now, and not before? Is it because my trust and faith in people that are around me is changing or what?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #2  August 16,2009, 6:23pm
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If you do a lot of dating, you pick up on those sorts of things.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  August 16,2009, 8:13pm
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Your defenses might be up, because you did just break up, so you may be picking up on things in people that you didn't notice before.
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #4  August 16,2009, 9:40pm
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That is kind of what I was thinking. I am hoping that I keep on doing it.
 
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MCMLXXII is offline MCMLXXII Post #5  August 16,2009, 10:21pm
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It sounds like you're bitter, so everything is magnified.
Last edited by MCMLXXII; August 16,2009 at 10:24pm. Reason: ehh, wanted to change my response.
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #6  August 17,2009, 5:09pm
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Bitter, no, Just moving on with my life
 
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wordwoman is offline wordwoman Post #7  August 17,2009, 9:38pm
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shrek99352 wrote :
Since my ex and I broke up over a week ago, I have been noticing an interesting change in myself. I now look at people in a completely different manner, especially women, and I don't understand it.

I went out to lunch with a friend I have known for about a year, and found myself watching eye contact, body language, emotional reactions, and other such things.

How is it that I am just now getting to a point of being able to do this now, and not before? Is it because my trust and faith in people that are around me is changing or what?
It could be that you're starting to take into account how these things reveal a person's personality and character long before they say or do anything otherwise. And before the last relationship, you didn't think these sorts of things mattered so much, so you didn't pay that much attention to them in the beginning. In other words, you're evolving, but be careful that you're not comparing all of these things against your ex. If you do, it could lead to all sorts of trouble and confusion.
 
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Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #8  August 18,2009, 9:59am
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shrek99352 wrote :
Since my ex and I broke up over a week ago, I have been noticing an interesting change in myself. I now look at people in a completely different manner, especially women, and I don't understand it.

I went out to lunch with a friend I have known for about a year, and found myself watching eye contact, body language, emotional reactions, and other such things.

How is it that I am just now getting to a point of being able to do this now, and not before? Is it because my trust and faith in people that are around me is changing or what?
I'd say it's been happening for sometime. I use martial arts analogies a lot so here is one.
You want to learn to kick. So you learn a front kick. It's easy. You can do it 25 times before your leg hurts. Soon you learn other kicks.

Now you can do 200 without it hurting. Now you learn spins. Now you can deliver 2 kicks at once!

The thing is. You wern't keeping track of all that. You just learned.

Such is life right? I'm willing to bet you've been learning for awhile, you just realized that you can handle bigger challenges now.

On another note, I find talking with some people still difficult. I have a cousin in the Military. Very strong guy. He affects people around him viscerally. It's harder to talk with him since he's so strong and present. He sees everything.

Some people are strong and some are weak.
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #9  August 18,2009, 10:14am
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You can "grow up" at any age.
 
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smileatjen is offline smileatjen Post #10  September 23,2009, 10:09am
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Maybe you are figuring out what you don't want and being out it makes you take a strong look at all of the details. Good luck on your adventure!
 
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