Her or me??

Hi there,

Advice and objective opinions needed please.

I am currently seeing someone that I was previously engaged to years ago. We have been seeing each other again for the past six months. After we broke up, initially, he continued to call me and leave messages for about 2 years, with no return calls from me. I finally reached out to him recently, and we have been back together ever since.

The backstory is this: We met about 10 years ago, dated, cohabitated, got engaged, and were together for about 7 years. I left the relationship for all the usual reasons; constant fighting, and the fact that I am a flight attendant was a source of jealousy for him, which led to more fighting, etc. Our problems were my fault as much as his, we just couldn't seem to be happy together. Shortly after I left, I found out that I was pregnant. We got together and discussed it, and he was sad, but agreeable to adoption. My sister adopted her, and it has worked out more wonderfully than anyone could have hoped.

Just about the time our relationship was ending, one of his very best friends was killed in a bar fight. He pretty much died in his arms on the pavement. It wrecked him emotionally, and I could have been more supportive, admittedly. He spent almost a year in court testifying and the guy was exonerated. My boyfriend was just crushed and really never got over it.

He regularly called and left messages for about 2 years, and I ignored them because I was dealing with a lot personally, and because I tried to shield him from some of the heartache and mixed emotions the adoption caused. Time does heal things, and when I felt like I was in a good place with things, I called him. We went out the next night and reconciled, and have been together since. I do love him, we have both come a long way and grown up some, and a lot of our past issues have worked themselves out.

Herein lies my problem. After I left, he began spending a lot of time with the widow (I think they were separated or divorced, not sure) of his friend. Things happened, and they ended up together. I'm sure it happens often in those situations, but personally it just seemed wrong to me. I can't imagine getting together with any of my friend's exes in any circumstance, but that's just my own personal beliefs.

They broke up about a month before I called him, and I didn't know about it at first. It came up, I dealt with it, and moved on. She continued to call him and come over on more than one occasion. He stopped taking her phone calls and would tell her to leave when she showed up. One night when she called, I answered the phone, and she hung up. After that I didn't hear much about it. Apparently she has been calling relentlessly and he has talked to her a few times. I found out last night that he went over to her house for dinner, when he claimed he was somewhere else.

One thing to his credit, he is not a liar. This is probably the first time he has ever lied to me. I found out on my own, but he swears he was going to tell me. He says this is the first time he has seen her since we have gotten back together, and I do believe that, he's with me all the time.

I was crushed and hurt, but in a way I do understand. He cared about her, they helped each other through one of the roughest time in each others lives. I have nothing against this girl, I met her once, and she was a real bitch to me, but that was years ago.

So we both have our history with him, and we both love him. She knows about me and has hated the fact that we are back together. He came over last night after I found out because I asked him to and we talked. He felt awful and says that he does not know what he wants to do. I offered to back out of the relationship and let them be together, and he said he doesn't want that. It just seems like a case of bad timing on everyone's part, and I'm having a hard time seeing the situation objectively.

Should I turn my back on him???????? I really don't do well in limbo. What do you think?
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Thanks!!!!!!!!!!

He felt awful and says that he does not know what he wants to do