When advice is sought what is really behind it?


Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Comedian is offline Comedian Post #11  August 15,2009, 2:20pm
Comedian's Avatar

Matriarch of her herd

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Colorado

Posts: 675

See profile

TheThinker wrote :
Like an old saying: "You only learn by making mistakes.."
And then one of my favorites: "I never learned anything by listening to the sound of my own voice"
Actually I think listening to your own voice is one of the reasons Posting here is useful. Like another person said, you just need to put it together in words. Then maybe we answer our own questions?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #12  August 15,2009, 6:50pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

cp30 wrote :
sometimes people just need to get their thoughts on paper, helps to organize it, vent, get it straight.

I think as adults we tend not to have the social networks we used to depend on when we were younger. Sometimes it is just nice to have people to talk to....sometimes a problem seems much huger than it is, until you release it.

People can be helpful, validating or make you think of things you hadn't thought of.

I think also as adults, even if we do have friends we can talk to, we don't want to trouble them with every little detail of our personal lives.

Also, if we are internet dating, we may not want to talk to people in our lives about it.

Personally, I post here a lot also because it is just interesting to me. It's a subject of interest just like geography is to me. I'm interested in how other people think and feel about things.

Over time, people can and do change opinions of mine. It's a bit of an education, here. In numerous ways.

That said, I don't know why or what motives everyone else has for posting. But my guess would be that at least half the time people need to vent. Other times they really want to be wrong and have people tell them to "give him another chance" other times people have had enough and just need the push to say "I can leave"

when it comes to internet dating though I think there are tons of clueless newbs out there who genuinely need our advice!
This is true.
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #13  August 15,2009, 6:54pm
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 4,848

See profile

Comedian wrote :
Plus it's really intersting to see when pople get angry.
If the OP wanted validation and doesn't get it...
Such a Comedian!
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #14  August 15,2009, 7:34pm
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

D: All of the above.

But if the response is constructive, then it's always a learning experience. Of course, you left out option E: For attention. I think some posters, because the questions are so way out there, have just made up situations to get attention.
 
  Reply With Quote
emerraald is offline emerraald Post #15  August 15,2009, 7:39pm
emerraald's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 197

See profile

Along the same line. I need your opinion about a situation. It is a shares house, separate entrance everything completely separate Why would the realotor say when you get to know the other tene
ant better you can give them your key, both tenants will be woman.???
 
  Reply With Quote
tbesq is offline tbesq Post #16  August 15,2009, 7:56pm
tbesq's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,536

See profile

It is a good idea to seek dating advice, because 1,000 heads (or however many are on these discussion boards) are better than one.

So long as one is receptive to all of the viewpoints given on their thread topic, it can be a productive experience.
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #17  August 15,2009, 9:11pm
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

Out by the dawn's early light, my love, I will defend your right to try.

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,392

See profile

Not all questions are necessarily "advice" questions. Some questions are like poll questions, asking for opinions or preferences such as, "Would you date an amputee?"
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #18  August 15,2009, 10:01pm

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

emerraald wrote :
Along the same line. I need your opinion about a situation. It is a shares house, separate entrance everything completely separate Why would the realotor say when you get to know the other tene
ant better you can give them your key, both tenants will be woman.???
Why not call the Realtor and ask to clarify her statement about giving them your key? or did she mean to have keys made for them?
Note you can always put in an extra dead bolt lock on your door if you don't want them to have access to your living space. But I would check with her.

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #19  August 16,2009, 1:03pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

OverAnalyzer wrote :
My question: do you feel it is truly beneficial to ask an opinion after giving a one-sided synopsis, or do you think one might just want someone to take their side?

I think the only synopsis a person can truly give is a one-sided synopsis. If you think about it, the only side you often know and understand is your own. I think that's why most people come and seek advice; they are hoping by presenting their perspective that they might get alternative ways of looking at their situation. Of course there will also be people who only want others to take their side, but you can usually spot them based on their replies to posts on the thread.

Or do you think by the time the question is posted we already know the answer and we are simply looking for validation.

Sometimes I think people already know the answer, but there is that part of them that is still just a bit uncertain. Or maybe they are insecure and do just need the validation. However, for the most part, I think people really are looking for alternative insight to their situation. Granted, it may seem like we see the same old questions and threads over and over again, but they are often from different people. Everyone has to start somewhere at some time, right?
Apparently I have to write something outside of the quote to get it to post...as if I didn't say enough already!
Last edited by brneyedangel; August 16,2009 at 1:05pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #20  August 16,2009, 10:13pm
gothustartus's Avatar

is thinking about someone special

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

London, England

Posts: 1,753

See profile

Opinions are always valuable, even if only as a reality check.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« is he bisexual? | Relationships | Can you work together and have a relationship »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 1:07pm
Check out these new Advice articles by Advice Hosts Renee and Kate! eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 2 July 22,2009 2:49pm
New Discussion Board System for eHarmony Advice! eharmony Dating 172 July 17,2009 11:02pm
Are you NEW to eHarmony Advice? Welcome! PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING! eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 0 April 16,2009 11:39am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:57am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0