Needing space or cheating....?


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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #11  August 14,2009, 2:53am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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jayjay wrote :
OK....let's put the wonderful eHarmony Advice guys aside. Most of the men I know IRL....'cheating' is their default setting. If you have a suspicion they're f#%$ing around on you.... they are. They probably are even if you think they aren't. I'm not saying it's right....just very common in relatively new relationships.
That's kind of harsh, I think. Of the people I know of who are cheating, they are all women.

I don't know that I would go so far as to say cheating is the default setting (I would say, "selfishness is the default setting"), but certainly 'integrity' isn't on the top of anyone's list these days either. On both sides, it seems that people are willing to stay in bad relationships as long as they are getting what they want out of it - men = sex, women = security - at least until someone comes along they percieve as better to give them what they want, then they'll either cheat or end the old relationship for the new one.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #12  August 14,2009, 3:25am
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says this is the best wedding picture!

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I agree with Harvey as well.

You have to be able to trust your partner. If you can't do that, find out why. Is it you, is it him, and so forth. Trust is key in any relationship.

Let me show a example. My girlfriend is very attractive . When she's at work, she gets hit on constantly by patients, fellow residents, and others. I could be all jealous and paranoid about that, all untrusting and so forth. Or I could be completely fine with it, because I trust her completely, and she trusts me completely. Which one do you think I am?

Hint, it's not the jealous and paranoid one.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #13  August 14,2009, 4:43am
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gannj wrote :
My bf and I hacve been together for maybe 5 months. we are together almost all the time and it is great. We sometimes take a break form each other for a weekend maybe a day. When we are on our break and I call him, he sounds angry and it seems he completely forgets about my love. He talks to me like a friend on the phone and always has some excuse as to why he can't talk right now. When he is on hsi way home form work or anything it takes him almost 2 hours sometimes. Whne i ask about it he says 'you know, I have a life too. I have things I have to do". So I say OK and leave it be. Any time I am feeling like he is cheating on me or something, i ask him and we tlak about it. Not an arguement or fight just talk. He assures me that he is happy with me and that I make him so happy and I am his dream come true... he makes me happy and we have amazing times with almost no fighting, but the feelings of anxiety that I have when he ignores me,gives me excuses, or takes forever to get home, is killing me..
What do i do...............

if you are with the guy all the time how do you get stuff done in your own life? this is way too much to see anyone!

two days a week max would be all i could handle.


 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #14  August 14,2009, 6:00am
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Nanette wrote :
if you are with the guy all the time how do you get stuff done in your own life? this is way too much to see anyone!

two days a week max would be all i could handle.

I have to ask. What about if you get married?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #15  August 14,2009, 6:28am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I have to ask. What about if you get married?
you live the person so you have no choice, but i still dont believe in not having your own life in certain ways. there are times when you will be closer and together more and times when you are off on your own thing.... no less a couple though.

 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #16  August 14,2009, 6:51am
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yes, you're smothering him. he hasn't caused your anxiousness; he's what your anxiousness has focused on.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #17  August 14,2009, 6:54am
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I wouldn't worry too much. If you're expecting that much of him, I doube he'll be around that much longer.
 
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