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PHILLYKATE PHILLYKATE is offline
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Can some of you give me some pointers on how to increase my self-esteem and self-confidence? I don't seem to have much of either. Thanks in advance for your help.

Kate
- August 13th, 2009, 01:38 am
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DancingFool DancingFool is online now
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Is there a sport or a hobby that interests you? Join and train and work hard and become good at it. The first thing that you'll learn is that every single successful charismatic person has to work their tail off to be that way - it's not a magical gift. Also, your personal achievement as a result of all that effort will give you all the confidence and self-esteem you'll ever need, not to mention many other valuable aspects that cross over into all other parts of your life.
- August 13th, 2009, 07:22 am
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Raw_Truth Raw_Truth is offline
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The easy answer is that it is not automatic. One cannot simply wish self-esteem into being.

Self-esteem ultimately comes from achievement; physical, education, career, finances, hobbies, etc.
- August 13th, 2009, 07:53 am
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Angelwing Angelwing is offline
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PhillyKate...
I would figure out those things that make you happy and immerse yourself in them. Doing things that make you happy helps to get you in touch with yourself...your likes and dislikes. Not only that but it is fun! Surround yourself with great people who see the REAL you and help YOU to see how wonderful you really are inside and out! Having people in your life that help to build you up is critical because they see you for who you really are and will remind you of all of those wonderful qualities. If there are people in your life that bring you down.....it is time to clean house! Get them out of your life and if you can't remove them completely then distance yourself from those that bring you down! This is about YOU and how YOU feel. Put yourself first and pay attention to how YOU feel in any given situation and around certain people. If you don't feel good about YOU in any given situation then leave that situation and go do something that makes you feel wonderful. I would also try writing down at least 3 things about yourself that you know are wonderful and tape them to your bathroom mirror. If you can't find 3 things then ask friends that make you feel great and that are TRULY there for you and love you. Each time you see that note, speak those things OUT LOUD to yourself. It may sound silly to some but this is not about some...this is about YOU! Pretty soon, you will notice that you are seeing yourself in a more positive light and that in itself makes you feel better! I hope this helps in some way!

--AngelWing
- August 13th, 2009, 08:08 am
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1passionatefem 1passionatefem is offline
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I would recommend counseling. A close friend as dealing with the same issues and when to counseling for six months and it is amazing the change in him.
- August 13th, 2009, 08:27 am
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PHILLYKATE PHILLYKATE is offline
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I just wanted to say thank you for all of your great replies to my post. They were great. I am going to make more of an effort to love myself more. Thanks again.

Kate
- August 13th, 2009, 10:21 am
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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PHILLYKATE wrote :
Can some of you give me some pointers on how to increase my self-esteem and self-confidence? I don't seem to have much of either. Thanks in advance for your help.

Kate
Hi Kate!

I would say get busy and get good at something. Cultivate a new interest and absorb yourself in it. Become an "expert". Get another degree. Go in a service capacity and give your time to people less fortunate than you are.

Challenge yourself to do something tthat you have never done before but have always wanted to. Not something wreckless, careless or foolish, but say go to a country that you have always wanted to see but you don't speak the language (and most of the people there aren't bilingual). Bungee Jump (make sure you check their safety record ), Sky Dive, learn to Rollerblade. Sing in front of an audience. Take a public speaking class. You can do it.

Figure out what excites you and get into it. Take a dance class. Challenge your fears. Look them in the eye. People that lack self-confidence/esteem usually operate out of fear.




- August 13th, 2009, 10:35 am
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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PHILLYKATE wrote :
I just wanted to say thank you for all of your great replies to my post. They were great. I am going to make more of an effort to love myself more. Thanks again.

Kate

Dear Kate,
Since your coming out of a downer of a relationship, I think that it would be wise to learn to understand your strength and weakness to build on your strengths and avoid making the same mistakes. Maybe some short term therapy would be helpful in learning to be your own best friend? Try the link below.

Find a Therapist, Psychologist, Counselor - NetworkTherapy.com Directory of Therapists

Harvey7.
- August 13th, 2009, 01:02 pm
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MCMLXXII MCMLXXII is offline
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Working-out and watching your body change is a great way to boost self-esteem.

Now, I'm off to shower since I just finished my workout!

Release those natural endorphines Kate!

Hugs.
- August 15th, 2009, 09:17 pm
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flgal flgal is offline
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1passionatefem wrote :
I would recommend counseling. A close friend as dealing with the same issues and when to counseling for six months and it is amazing the change in him.
I agree with 1passionatefem. I would also recommend reading a book, or doing an internet search, on the topic. Good luck to you!
- August 23rd, 2009, 08:18 am
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