Depression, Anxiety, and relationships.


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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #1  August 12,2009, 6:06pm
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I am curious to see what all has to be said about this subject.

I was diagnosed yesterday with Depression, Anxiety, and lost my girlfriend that I love more than anything in this world.

Circumstances according to her was that she could not handle the ups and downs that occurred in our relationship, however, she never communicated to me in recent times that it was an issue.

Have you had this issue? What steps did you take to try and resolve this issue?

How can you handle loving someone even though they can't handle you?

Thanks!
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #2  August 12,2009, 6:23pm
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I don't know if I did anything to get over anxiety. One day it was an issue & then the next it wasn't.

There were many factors that came into play but the only ones that were outward were hitting the gym & getting deeper into an activity that involves plenty of socializing.

I think that putting yourself in situations that bring on minor anxiety would be a good idea. They will become easier to deal with the more that you deal with it. I guess just taking yourself out of your comfort zone more & more will be a benefit.
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #3  August 12,2009, 6:30pm
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Oh, I agree completely, I have made some steps to improve the quality of my life. The anxiety is now under control with medication which means I can go back to work tomorrow which makes me extremely happy.

I still have the remainder of the issues to handle, but I am taking it one day at a time.
 
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happyquestion is offline happyquestion Post #4  August 12,2009, 7:12pm
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shrek99352 wrote :
Oh, I agree completely, I have made some steps to improve the quality of my life. The anxiety is now under control with medication which means I can go back to work tomorrow which makes me extremely happy.

I still have the remainder of the issues to handle, but I am taking it one day at a time.
Taking it a day at a time and focus on the present is the best way to go. As much as i try to give others suggestions on being happy, I'm going through similar phases myself and it is easier said than done. But let nothing breaks you will of trying to be a happy individual before you look at what you can do for your relationship.

Often if we are not happy ourselves, we look for things in the relationship to compensate our emotional need, i don't know if this applies to your particular situation, but it can happen to the best of us. I learnt that it is crucial to remain high on the self-awareness scale, or else you don't even know how you get into a situation and before you realise it, its all too late.

Men and women have much differences in the way of communication and relating, which is to be recognized to improve your understanding of what's going on in the break down of communication. Without the gender layer, we as individuals are conditioned to communicate differently, without a good understanding of how you and your partner relate/communicate, it is easy to be blindsided.

I was just listening to "the climb" on the radio as i type this, here is what i get from the song:

Just keep trying, keep your head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain, an uphill battle, and sometimes you gonna have to lose.

It's not about how fast you get there,
Not about what's waiting on the other side,
It's the climb

The struggles you're facing, the chances you are taking
Sometimes might knock you down,
but no, you are not breaking

You may not know it,
but these are the moments that you gonna remember most

Just keep pushing on...


Good luck buddy!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  August 12,2009, 7:15pm
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shrek99352 wrote :
Oh, I agree completely, I have made some steps to improve the quality of my life. The anxiety is now under control with medication which means I can go back to work tomorrow which makes me extremely happy.

I still have the remainder of the issues to handle, but I am taking it one day at a time.
Good for you. Hang in there!
 
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Emme is offline Emme Post #6  August 12,2009, 7:51pm

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You have to deal with all of your issues individually. And when you feel like your anxiety and depression are under reasonable control, you could ask her to attend some couple's counseling sessions with you to get to the bottom of what her issues are and if they are resolveable. They may not be. But maybe they are and your getting treatment can patch things up.
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #7  August 15,2009, 8:44pm
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Just an update. She decided she did not want to try and work things out, nor did she want to talk but only text... So, I went home, packed my stuff up, and moved out.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  August 15,2009, 8:57pm
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Sorry to hear that, Shrek. I do hope that this doesn't derail your efforts to tackle your depression and get healthier, though. Keeping up with your treatment is especially important now...
 
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shrek99352 is offline shrek99352 Post #9  August 15,2009, 9:59pm
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neardc wrote :
Sorry to hear that, Shrek. I do hope that this doesn't derail your efforts to tackle your depression and get healthier, though. Keeping up with your treatment is especially important now...
Thank you

This experience will make me a stronger person in the end. I have the drive, motivation, and the courage to tackle this demon of mine, and I will do this no matter what it takes.

I have the support from my closest friends, family, and soon a counselor. I will beat this, I will beat this, I will beat this, and it will be soon!
 
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JFo is offline JFo Post #10  August 15,2009, 10:15pm
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My fiancée, whom I met on eHarmony, suffers from clinical depression. It was something she was diagnosed with long before we ever met, and she is currently taking medication for it. She's doing fine now, but I can tell you that it was a surprise for me to learn this after we had met. At first I wasn't sure what to think. Was there something wrong with her? How would this affect me? Since things were going so well at that point, I decided to take a wait-and-see approach before making any judgement calls.

In all honesty, I don't think it has played a major role in our relationship. The fact that she's on meds has helped, I'm sure, and as long as she takes the initiative to treat herself, I'm okay with that.
 
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