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mrzxlala mrzxlala is offline
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Okay , so me and my boyfriend have been datinq for four months , & suddenly my ex decides he wanna qet back toqether after a year . ( long story short he went away & we had to break up ) but now hes back & wants to qet back toqether & i kinda had feelinqs for him too . Now me & my boyfriend had a qood thinq qoinq & i didnt want to ruin that , but I told him the truth ( that I kinda had feelinqs for my ex ) so first we went on ' pause ' then I broke up with him cuhs it wasnt fair to be with him & seeinq how thinqs worked with my ex . But that same niqht I broke up with him ; I told him i didnt want to break up fareal , I just needed time to think about thinqs & i didnt want to lose him , he called me riqht after I texted him that & asked ' so you just need time ? ' & I said yes . & he said alriqht well call me if you need anythinq . Well NOW , we chilled the other day , cuhs we were SUPPOSED to qet back toqether , but he wanna be juhs friends . Apparently he thinks it would be ' too weird if we went out aqain ' . I juhs dont understand how you stop likinq someone youve been datinq for four months , after two weeks of a break . I tried talkinq to him last niqht , but I kept cryinq so it was basically my cousin talkinq to him , & I really miss him , i mean its only been two days but I honestly dont know what to do , my cousin said I need to call him & talk aqain . but i dont wanna keep buqqinq him ya know ? I dont wanna seem desperate . & I know I did him wronq with the whole ex shxt , but everyone makes mistakes . uqh i dont know .. what do you qurls think ?
- August 11th, 2009, 08:28 pm
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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I think that after four months of dating he had feelings for you and when you broke up with/asked for a break from the relationship you hurt those feelings. Now he simply can't trust you again and maybe with time he'll come around and maybe not. I think you should give him a few days to think about things and then try talking to him again but don't hold your breath that he'll come running back. Trust is a very hard thing to reinstate once broken.
- August 12th, 2009, 08:32 am
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dietpepsi dietpepsi is offline
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Agree with Dancing Fool.

I onced dated this phenomenal guy that I loved for many many years. We were very different, so at about 4 months I told him that he should consider seeing other people. I wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, but I was young and stupid and had no clue why I suggested that.

That broke his heart. And nothing I did after that mattered.

Men are simple creatures. When they get rejected, they fall out of love very quickly. And it's never the same again.
- August 12th, 2009, 03:23 pm
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brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
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Anyone could develop feelings after four months. In all honesty, when you told him about your ex, you violated his trust. Anyone would feel this way. You broke up with him, and that was that. Now all of a sudden you want to get back together with him.

Relationships that are going to last have to be built on trust. Once you violate that trust, whether you realize you've done it or not, and whether you regret it or not, it's very difficult to get that trust back to where it was.

If I was in his shoes and a guy did this to me, I'd probably feel the same way. You don't seem to know what you want. First you are with him, then the ex comes back and you say you have feelings for him, then you break up with him, but you really don't want to break up with him, then you need time, then you want to get back together. It's too big of a risk to put himself out there for you again because you can't make up your mind. It's not just one mistake here--you dumped him for another guy from your past, and he doesn't trust you.

Give him time. If he gives you a second chance, count yourself lucky. But if he gives you this chance, you'd better be sure of what you want. He's not a toy; he's a person and he has feelings. Make sure that this is a relationship you aren't going to disappear from as soon as something better comes along, because if you're going to, there's just no point in being with him, and you might as well just let him go.
- August 12th, 2009, 03:36 pm
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angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
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You could not have killed a relationship any better if you had tried. Regardless of why you still had feelings for your ex he was just that your ex and things should have been left that way. Telling your boyfriend you needed a break to get your head together due to your ex coming back on the scene was definitely a big No-No. I would be really surprised if he changed his mind about you.
- August 12th, 2009, 04:12 pm
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dietpepsi wrote :
Agree with Dancing Fool.

I onced dated this phenomenal guy that I loved for many many years. We were very different, so at about 4 months I told him that he should consider seeing other people. I wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, but I was young and stupid and had no clue why I suggested that.

That broke his heart. And nothing I did after that mattered.

Men are simple creatures. When they get rejected, they fall out of love very quickly. And it's never the same again.
Man, I'm sorry to hear that, dietpepsi.

And yeah, I'd have to agree, that when we get rejected, we fall out of love very quickly.
- August 12th, 2009, 04:44 pm
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Mainah64 Mainah64 is offline
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You were being very selfish, hurt him, and now are paying the price - hopefully lesson learned. It really is too bad that you are hurting and I know that you will feel better in a while.

Time to move on.
- August 12th, 2009, 05:59 pm
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shrek99352 shrek99352 is offline
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Well, speaking from my own personal experience on this issue...

I have to agree with the fact that you violated his trust in you. When I went through this with my recent ex, that was one of the issues that came into being. I don't trust her with her ex, nor any other guy right now.

I loved her for a total of about 2 of the 4 years that we have been together, and we dated on and off for those 2 years. You can't expect that he will take you back in a heartbeat after you broke his heart.

That being said, I am dealing with my own Fiasco and know that I would not take my ex back because she did the same thing to me.

If you love someone enough that you are willing to make a commitment to them, then you need to stick to your commitment, and not even question going back to your ex because you are putting your current on the back burner and believe me, that hurts more than breaking up because of some other reason.

Sorry to be blunt but it's the truth.
- August 12th, 2009, 08:03 pm
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CreolePrincess CreolePrincess is offline
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mrzxlala wrote :
I juhs dont understand how you stop likinq someone youve been datinq for four months , after two weeks of a break .
It's a matter of trust. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like you broke the trust the two of you had developed over four months, and now you'll have to build it back. You may never get it back. Think of it this way. Say you have a couple who have been together 20 years, and a partner cheats at an office Christmas party after having one too many drinks and not thinking clearly. A single act could break all the trust that has been built over 20 years and destroy a good marriage.
- August 12th, 2009, 08:15 pm
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shrek99352 shrek99352 is offline
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dietpepsi wrote :
Agree with Dancing Fool.

I onced dated this phenomenal guy that I loved for many many years. We were very different, so at about 4 months I told him that he should consider seeing other people. I wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, but I was young and stupid and had no clue why I suggested that.

That broke his heart. And nothing I did after that mattered.

Men are simple creatures. When they get rejected, they fall out of love very quickly. And it's never the same again.
Wait, men are simple creatures. When they get rejected, they fall out of love quickly? That is probably the most asinine thing I have ever heard anyone say. Just because you say they got hurt, you can not say that every guy in this world is that way and that they will fall out of love.

I may not be perfect by any means, but that comment is purely irritating and ignorant.
- August 12th, 2009, 08:25 pm
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