Advice: I met a great guy who happens to be a SEX offender


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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #1  August 10,2009, 11:40pm
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Alright, the title of this thread isn't true.

There was a recent post about dating a felon. There were many comments such as (paraphrasing) "you shouldn't judge a felon"; "he did his time"; "13 years is a long time to reform" and "let someone's past stay in the past".

My question. What if a felon is a sex offender? Would you hold the same opinion?

A few days ago at work a 9 year old arrived to the ER via ambulance due to a sexual assault. One of the nurses involved was rather emotional afterward because the nature of the event and the kid addressed everyone as "yes sir" and "no mam" and spoke of being an honors student. The child was a nice, ideal patient who had been through a horrible, horrible ordeal.

The irritating factor is apparently the mother knew the boyfriend had been accused of this at some time during his past. Yet, she gets involved with the guy and leaves him unsupervised with her child? I don't understand how anyone could leave their own child with a suspected sex offender be it boyfriend, family member or clergy.

Would you give a "reformed" sex offender your forgiveness and love by dating him/her?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #2  August 10,2009, 11:54pm
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This is one of the very few times when I will say in all seriousness that I do not even want to live on the same planet with a sex offenders - reformed or otherwise. I would keep them institutionalised for life, if it was up to me.

A sex offender is often like an addict. If the act involved children, the issue is usually even more serious. And in most cases they do not stick to the program required to rehabilitate. A vast majority is very likely to re-offend - the tempation is always there, and it's not to get drunk, but to violate.

I'm sure there are some that re-form, but whoever could be cruel enough to commit such a violent act on another human being, let alone a child, gets no second chances from me.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #3  August 11,2009, 4:51am
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I would want to know the details of his offence, simply because the subject came up in conversation once with a guy who, as a teenager had sex with a 15 year old girl, and was busted for statutory rape when her parents found out. He's classed as a sex offender when what he was was a stupid kid.

A rapist or paedo isn't like a burglar or a car thief who i might give the benefit of the doubt, they're predators and no matter how much time they have served or what any psych says about rehabilitation, i wouldn't trust them with my son or anyone elses.

A friend of mine got attacked a couple of days ago, luckily a bunch of workmen saw it and chased the bloke off. She hasn't reported it yet because she is a Burlesque dancer and knows that it would be dismissed as provoked, even though if she had been in her working clothes that still wouldn't excuse some guy coming up behind her and slobbering over her neck while he shoves his hand down her top.
Crazy i know, but that happens.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  August 11,2009, 5:34am
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Alright, the title of this thread isn't true.

There was a recent post about dating a felon. There were many comments such as (paraphrasing) "you shouldn't judge a felon"; "he did his time"; "13 years is a long time to reform" and "let someone's past stay in the past".

My question. What if a felon is a sex offender? Would you hold the same opinion?

A few days ago at work a 9 year old arrived to the ER via ambulance due to a sexual assault. One of the nurses involved was rather emotional afterward because the nature of the event and the kid addressed everyone as "yes sir" and "no mam" and spoke of being an honors student. The child was a nice, ideal patient who had been through a horrible, horrible ordeal.

The irritating factor is apparently the mother knew the boyfriend had been accused of this at some time during his past. Yet, she gets involved with the guy and leaves him unsupervised with her child? I don't understand how anyone could leave their own child with a suspected sex offender be it boyfriend, family member or clergy.

Would you give a "reformed" sex offender your forgiveness and love by dating him/her?
I very very rarely swear but f*** no! I wont even live in a city where they live. thankfully my city has fewer. dramatically fewer.

I said no to the felon also.

And the people that allow ANYone around their children indiscriminately shouldnt have them.


 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  August 11,2009, 6:08am
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[quote=Nanette;707079]
I very very rarely swear but f*** no! I wont even live in a city where they live. thankfully my city has fewer. dramatically fewer.


I do agree that anyone "introducing" a child to sex is someone I'd feel better not being around. But...

There are all kinds of sex offenders. A few years back, the 16 year old boy across the street got caught having sex with his 15 year old girlfriend by her parents.

Alot of us can say we were once in that position (no pun intended). But that kid is going to be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. Just sayin'...

Fat chance of finding any city without any!
Last edited by j0hn8andy; August 11,2009 at 11:29am.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  August 11,2009, 6:29am
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Yeah but those are rare ^^

I worked for a company that was bought out and the new company did extensive (apparently a more extensive) background checks. One guy had a sex offense that was 15 years old and they let him go saying they "couldn't take the chance"

Unfortunately there arent any cities where there are none
 
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landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #7  August 11,2009, 6:31am
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The answer is emphatically NO! My extended family has some personal experience with this situation and I can verifiably say that sexual offenders are always on the prowl...and I mean always. Nothing is taboo to them, it is one of the worst addictions because they scar others for life. A parent should be an advocate for their child until they are old enough to fend for themselves and sometimes that goes beyond high school. I've seen at the college where I work, females students who are being abused physically by ex boyfriends and no family member steps in to help. I don't understand this.
 
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p_babe is offline p_babe Post #8  August 11,2009, 6:51am
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This is why I don't work in a pediatric ER...the cops would have to scrap the remains of mommy and boyfriend off the floor with a shovel if I encountered the sort of monstrousity you described. I think sex offender = automatic death penalty
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #9  August 11,2009, 7:02am
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No way, no how. I have no sympathy for anyone who feels that they have to cause harm to children in any way, shape, or form--especially sex offenders. I also have no sympathy for parents who aren't responsible enough to make sure the people they choose to expose their children to aren't sex offenders. If parents knowingly expose their children to people who have committed crimes such as these, and, God forbid, something should happen to their child (as in the OP's post), then in my eyes they are no better than the criminal and they should be held equally responsible. Sometimes a parent is the only person a child can look to for protection, and when that person fails them, what are they supposed to do? I just cannot sympathize with people who carelessly put their own lives ahead of the lives of their own children.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #10  August 11,2009, 7:08am
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no. there are lines that, once crossed, cut off all avenue of return. a person such as this may have food and a place to live, but that's where it ends.
 
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