Advice: I met a great guy who happens to be a SEX offender


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zal is offline zal Post #31  August 13,2009, 1:40pm
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[quote=j0hn8andy;707094]
Nanette wrote :
I very very rarely swear but f*** no! I wont even live in a city where they live. thankfully my city has fewer. dramatically fewer.

I do agree that anyone "introducing" a child to sex is someone I'd feel better not being around. But...
There are all kinds of sex offenders. A few years back, the 16 year old boy across the street got caught having sex with his 15 year old girlfriend by her parents.

Alot of us can say we were once in that position (no pun intended). But that kid is going to be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life. Just sayin'...

Fat chance of finding any city without any!
Very good point j0hn8andy, There's actually an outstanding article on the issue in the current Economist magazine. One example they cite is a kid who thought it would be fun to engage in oral sex in the back of a classroom with a classmate (one was fifteen the other 16 if I remember). Apparently a film was being shown and the lights were out. They got caught any way. Fast forward a whole bunch of years and now she can't get a job, She and her husband were evicted from there home because a day care center opened within her restricted zone. She will forever be listed in the public registry as a sex offender. The problem is that registry ONLY states "sex offender". It does not specify the crime.

Nanette wrote :
Yeah but those are rare ^^

Actually, they are very common. A point I found very interesting in the article was just how unpopular the offender registries are among the law enforcement officials tasked with enforcing them. Since "offenders" are not segregated by actual crime, police must spend scarce resources responding to complaints about "offenders" whose only crime was having sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend. The law is very clear: Sex with a minor is statutory r* pe. (Consent is irrelevant because minors by law cannot consent.)
A 16 year old boy who has (consensual) sex with his 16 year old girlfriend is by definition of law a r**is t. (So is the girlfriend). But he is not a predator. A 30 year old man, though....


Unfortunately there arent any cities where there are none
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #32  August 13,2009, 2:16pm
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Mokkesofie wrote :
From someone who this happened to several times as an older child - NO!!!

My mum's partner wasn't an official sex offender but nonetheless he did stuff I don't want to get into. Tried to tell my mum but she just looked at me with tears in her eyes and did nothing about it. I don't understand women like that, it's something you'll never forget.
My kids are older now, so it's pretty much a non-issue for them, but I know it drives me nuts when I hear stories like that. The minute you have a child, your #1 job in life is to love and protect them, no excuses. If someone did anything to my kids, the cops would have a hard time finding what was left of the scum's body.
 
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roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #33  August 14,2009, 1:37pm

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
No offense taken. But if I do sound angry and hateful towards men, it only happened during the last couple of months. I used to be men's biggest fan before that. Do you think it's just a coincidence that a couple of months I joined eHA and have made a quick progression to Virtuoso since then?

Are you saying that being a member here for a few months has changed you from being a big fan of men to hating men?
 
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Mentionit is offline Mentionit Post #34  August 14,2009, 6:24pm
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Alright, the title of this thread isn't true.

There was a recent post about dating a felon. There were many comments such as (paraphrasing) "you shouldn't judge a felon"; "he did his time"; "13 years is a long time to reform" and "let someone's past stay in the past".

My question. What if a felon is a sex offender? Would you hold the same opinion?

A few days ago at work a 9 year old arrived to the ER via ambulance due to a sexual assault. One of the nurses involved was rather emotional afterward because the nature of the event and the kid addressed everyone as "yes sir" and "no mam" and spoke of being an honors student. The child was a nice, ideal patient who had been through a horrible, horrible ordeal.

The irritating factor is apparently the mother knew the boyfriend had been accused of this at some time during his past. Yet, she gets involved with the guy and leaves him unsupervised with her child? I don't understand how anyone could leave their own child with a suspected sex offender be it boyfriend, family member or clergy.

Would you give a "reformed" sex offender your forgiveness and love by dating him/her?
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #35  September 16,2009, 9:46am
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Jacquesne wrote :
Before I say anything else I'm in no way condoning sexual offense. I do agree that there's a difference in offenses, though. You can be a registered sex offender for getting caught streaking. Yeah, it may be a little weird. But I don't think it's nearly the same level as, say, child abuse. So I suppose the actual violation and situation may change a person's opinion. A streaker is probably not going to do serious sexual offenses. They may skinny dip in your pool, though .
Haha! Agreed. Streaking parts of campus was a favorite pastime of a lot of my college friends. Every year a few of people would get collared and charged as sex-offenders as an example to everyone else. Getting caught streaking a college campus may not be the most dignified thing to have on your record, but it's certainly not on par with with molesting a child!

If I did find out someone were a registered sex-offender, I'd be pretty quick to start uncovering what happened. While I could easily laugh off something like streaking, a violent offense is a different story. We're supposed to be simple as doves, but shrewd as serpents as well!

Jacquesne wrote :
My mother is fond of quoting St Thomas Aquinas when he said "Justice without mercy is cruelty, mercy without justice goes to waste."
Smart man, that dumb ox!
 
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Wendy_BBW is offline Wendy_BBW Post #36  September 17,2009, 7:56am
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H*ll no.
 
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DreamingOfJustice is offline DreamingOfJustice Post #37  September 17,2009, 7:09pm
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Good evening,,,fascinating thread,,even if it is rhetorical..

Here is my question:

What would you do if you discovered child pornography on your significant other's laptop?

Since it somewhat falls under a similar category, I wanted to put that situation out there.
 
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1FourAll is offline 1FourAll Post #38  September 17,2009, 10:50pm
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Good evening,,,fascinating thread,,even if it is rhetorical..

Here is my question:

What would you do if you discovered child pornography on your significant other's laptop?

Since it somewhat falls under a similar category, I wanted to put that situation out there.

- September 17th, 2009, 08:09 pm



First it's best to discuss what was found. You never know it could be some sort of sick computer virus, tasteless practical joke by a friend, or something else.

However, most likely it was purposely done. If so, it's time you encouraged your partner to seek therapy. Even if you no longer want to have a romantic relationship with the person, you cannot just drop someone you have developed an emotional relationship due to perversions/addictions.

I'm by no means saying be supportive of their destructive behavior. This a democratic approach however, and I would be inclined to react selfishly. I'd give my mate the boot, call the police, and take a long long long scalding hot shower.

Sexual assualt of any kind is repulsive and worst than death.
 
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