Are players really devoid of feeling?


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #11  August 9,2009, 9:28am
OverAnalyzer's Avatar

is trying not to

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2009

Southern New Hampshire

Posts: 479

See profile

Boccabum - I did not move him in and never intended to. The first summer we started dating he spent most of our vacation week at my house and we just continued on 3-4 days a week after that for a few months. When I started getting stressed and realized he was getting more attention than me, and me and my kids (20 and 15 at the time) we went back to weekends, then 1 weekend day, then done. The second time we got back together, 8 or so months later, it was just a weekend day a few times a month. That was when I realized he was definitely not the one.

FWIW - I never introduced my kids to the men I was dating until I was sure it was going somewhere, so they only met the one before this one, about 13 years ago. After 2 years we were engaged, bought a house, then he changed - or changed back - a month after we moved in. Six months later we broke up, the house was sold and I bought the one I live in now. Put dating on hold to raise the kids - tough thing to do as a single parent.

Now I'm putting myself back out there, one toe at a time. It's not so easy.
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #12  August 9,2009, 11:17am
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

Sounds as though he may have realized that he messed up a good thing. But the thing is, his pride will never left him admit it, and you're going back to him will only serve to inflate his ego and possible make his behavior towards you (if you two became involved again) even worse. Move on, don't look back, and find someone better.
 
  Reply With Quote
TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #13  August 9,2009, 1:17pm
TiffanyDiamon…'s Avatar

is so in love!!

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 1,200

See profile

[quote=OverAnalyzer;704876]

I still have to see him everday (we work in the same place - I went against my own rule for this guy)

That is the main reason why I never, ever, ever date someone from the workplace.

and he completely ignores me when he sees me, but still watches me when he thinks I don't see him, to the extent of the two other people that knew (or have the nerve to ask) ask me if we are back dating.

Whatever the reason for your breakup he doesn't have to ignore you or act like you never existed. That shows his immaturity and you are well rid of him.

My question is: is this how they are? Completely into you and your world and then when you break it off they act like you are invisible? Like you never really mattered because it was all part of the game? Are they that unconscionable? Do they feel any sadness?


Some feel sadness, some don't. But don't waste your time thinking about this. He is going to go on living his life while you sit around trying to figure out why he is acting like you are invisible. Hold your head up and do what you normally do at work - you will look like the bigger person.




A breakup still hurts even if you do it for the right reason. I'm not sure if this one hurts because it's a breakup or because I feel betrayed. I think moreso I would like for him to feel some hurt but he either doesn't or is a master at this game.

Again, I know this is hurting you and it sounds like you think you made the right decision breaking things off. Hold your head up and stop thinking about him...don't give him any reason to think you haven't moved on like he obviously has.
 
  Reply With Quote
JcRabbit is offline JcRabbit Post #14  August 9,2009, 1:56pm
JcRabbit's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Portugal

Posts: 1

See profile

Just wanted to bring another point of view: whatever the reasons, YOU broke off with him. Wether you believe it or not, that hurt him. Why should he now make you feel good about it when that would actually make him feel worse?

When you are on the receiving end of a breakup, it's bad enough dealing with all the pain and hurt when you are not in contact with the other person (which is the fastest way to move on) but it's ten times worse if you are.

A breakup is a breakup, and it's a time where you MUST be selfish in order to heal your wounds. That's hardly going to happen if you remain on friendly talking terms with the person that hurt you deeply, it's just like rubbing salt in an open wound.

So, he is just protecting himself, and, as for you, your ego is hurting (which is also normal) because he isn't all over you trying to get you back.

In the end, he is perfectly entitled to respond the way he is, and so are you for breaking up with him. Bottom line is that you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Give it time, once both of you have healed and moved on, it's possible you start talking again as friends and even talk about what happened. Or not. But in the mean time, have trust in yourself: whatever you feel like now, believe me when I say that you did have an impact on his life.
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #15  August 9,2009, 5:16pm
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,104

See profile

One thing I've always been accused of is being able to see the good in every bad situation.

The more heartless, rude, and inconsiderate he appears to you with his silent treatment, the better! The more things you find to dislike in him, the better!

Normally, I'm not one for grudges. For me, it's pretty much a waste of time. But since you are in daily contact with him, I say look at his bad side. Every single day.

When you get to where you can laugh at him, you'll be done, and able to move on.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Seven Strategies To Help Avoid The 7-Year Itch! | Relationships | To be or not to be????? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Players vs. Nice Guys Nature_Lover Dating 114 December 15,2009 6:50pm
love is not a feeling?? kat5560 Relationships 111 November 4,2009 9:23am
feeling pretty to a man when your in your 50,s kat5560 Relationships 76 October 8,2009 6:30pm
Is this feeling normal? aurora7 Relationships 5 July 17,2009 3:38pm
Dating on Planet Utah-A Planet Devoid? GreatGuy38 Dating 41 June 25,2009 5:54pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0