And the reason we seek male companionship is?


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maryleigh is offline maryleigh Post #1  August 7,2009, 6:55am
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Since my divorce, it appears that the majority of men only want one of two things from a woman . . . sex or money. Sex first, because that's just what men want (women too, but not just for the "sex" of it), or they are basically frigid, but need money or to be taken care of so they use the sexual/sensual/companionship ruse to get to the money. Which I fell for, but finally saw through it. I realize that is a jaded view of things, but the middle-ground guys are few and far between, else finding matches might be easier.

In all fairness, though, I have not had a huge sampling. Of course, if I did, I would be viewed in a certain negative light (double-edged sword). But, out of 7 guys I've dated, only 2 were of the mind that other circumstances, traits, likes/dislikes etc. are to be considered and were honest about those things that affected whether there was compatibility or not. And, these 7 guys were not from the same "gene" pool so to speak. In other words, not all were met in a bar or in a professional setting, etc. One was friend of friend, one in a bar, one was someone I knew through work, but not fellow employee. One lives in my apartment complex and left a note in my mailbox inviting me for a barbecue in the complex yard after we met in the laundry room a couple of times.

There are some women who fit the one or the other description too, but most of the time it's the girls who are bringing this phenomenon to light.
 
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trackstar is offline trackstar Post #2  August 7,2009, 7:27am
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There are tons of creepy people - I can't think of any "venue" that is free of them. But, I also think that people who are after only the things you mention tend to be a little bolder too. Rejection doesn't hurt when you don't have feelings. Ha. So, you may meet a disproportionate number of creeps. But, there are plenty of excellent guys (and gals) out there, and after dealing with so many creeps, you will be sure to appreciate them when you do find them.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  August 7,2009, 7:32am
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People are out there or divorced for a reason. Sometimes it is situational, and things just did not work.. that's the best case scenerio Many others are out there for a reason, someone got rid of them because they are lazy, want be taken care of like a child, or they lack commitment and just want no-stings sex, and see a relationship as a hassle. That's why they all got kicked to the curb.
maryleigh wrote :
Since my divorce, it appears that the majority of men only want one of two things from a woman . . . sex or money. Sex first, because that's just what men want (women too, but not just for the "sex" of it), or they are basically frigid, but need money or to be taken care of so they use the sexual/sensual/companionship ruse to get to the money. Which I fell for, but finally saw through it. I realize that is a jaded view of things, but the middle-ground guys are few and far between, else finding matches might be easier.
In all fairness, though, I have not had a huge sampling. Of course, if I did, I would be viewed in a certain negative light (double-edged sword). But, out of 7 guys I've dated, only 2 were of the mind that other circumstances, traits, likes/dislikes etc. are to be considered and were honest about those things that affected whether there was compatibility or not. And, these 7 guys were not from the same "gene" pool so to speak. In other words, not all were met in a bar or in a professional setting, etc. One was friend of friend, one in a bar, one was someone I knew through work, but not fellow employee. One lives in my apartment complex and left a note in my mailbox inviting me for a barbecue in the complex yard after we met in the laundry room a couple of times.
There are some women who fit the one or the other description too, but most of the time it's the girls who are bringing this phenomenon to light.
 
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skeeety is offline skeeety Post #4  August 7,2009, 7:34am
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I don't believe male companionship necessary involve sex or money. Having a friend/companion of an opposite sex is nice because it adds a different perspective to life, they can help us see the 'logical' side of things or the bigger picture, they are good company for outdoor activities, and they can be handy if you need help fixing stuff in the house too. Of course if you have the wrong guy he will drive you up the wall.. haha.. so choose wisely.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  August 7,2009, 7:36am
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wrote :
it appears that the majority of men
they're out there, but i think it's the minority.
 
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maryleigh is offline maryleigh Post #6  August 7,2009, 7:55am
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I haven't observed that they were bolder, quite the opposite. They are quite skilled at saying the right things, and spinning. Insidious is the word. They know how not to be transparent, how to blend. And, knowing that about these types of guys, makes it difficult not to dismiss a guy based on that knowledge. In other words, you don't know it until you've gone down the path and by then, the issues are
clouded by your own emotions. And, so if you guard your emotions so as to try to exclude those types, you also don't let in the ones who are/might actually be sincere.
 
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maryleigh is offline maryleigh Post #7  August 7,2009, 8:05am
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skeeety wrote :
I don't believe male companionship necessary involve sex or money. Having a friend/companion of an opposite sex is nice because it adds a different perspective to life, they can help us see the 'logical' side of things or the bigger picture, they are good company for outdoor activities, and they can be handy if you need help fixing stuff in the house too. Of course if you have the wrong guy he will drive you up the wall.. haha.. so choose wisely.
That's the point . . . it appears that there are quite alot of males who really only want sex or money, yet put on a mask that suggestsotherwise. How do you know? These are people who are actually quite intelligent and probably have potential if they used it for good. I have presented the issue very clearly and succinctly . . . I am not a stupid person, and yet . . .
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #8  August 7,2009, 8:32am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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maryleigh wrote :
That's the point . . . it appears that there are quite alot of males who really only want sex or money, yet put on a mask that suggestsotherwise. How do you know? These are people who are actually quite intelligent and probably have potential if they used it for good. I have presented the issue very clearly and succinctly . . . I am not a stupid person, and yet . . .
This seems to come down to the common question of "How do I know what he is really like or really wants?" There have been threads on this....with a common answer being, for starters, take your time and don't rush into things. You'll flush out some of the users immediately this way.

P.S. Some of us are worth every penny. ; )
Last edited by jayjay; August 7,2009 at 8:44am.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  August 7,2009, 8:48am
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Exactly correct, they are manipulators and well practiced at it. They find the vulnerability (from simply wanting a relationship to being too lonely), figure out what women want to hear, are charming, and make promises or innuendos of this fairy tale future. Then somehow nothing ever happens as implied or promised, it's always just around the corner.., yet they are already recieveing exactly what they want, sex, food a place to stay, money,etc.

Best defense: Never get involved with a man before you see how, where and with whom he lives. Watch what he does, not what he says. Do not offer any "pay-later" plans. He must come up first or at the same time, with what you want. Promises do not count. If he keeps making empty promises?...................
Tell him you want a carat with a K not a carrot with a stick. ..
If it's too good to be true it probably is . Don't be insecure, lonely or desperate, that's what they look for......
maryleigh wrote :
That's the point . . . it appears that there are quite a lot of males who really only want sex or money, yet put on a mask that suggests otherwise. How do you know? These are people who are actually quite intelligent and probably have potential if they used it for good. I have presented the issue very clearly and succinctly . . . I am not a stupid person, and yet . . .
Last edited by Wiseman2; August 7,2009 at 8:50am.
 
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maryleigh is offline maryleigh Post #10  August 7,2009, 8:50am
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Well, there's the rub. The reason I've gone through 7 guys, is because I did ultimately see through to the real side on 6 of them, 4 one-side-or-the-other, 2 rounded. However, there was that one who ran the gauntlet and pulled off a year-and-half gig. He was able to carry on the facade that long before he dropped it and showed his real side.
 
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