Unsucessful Relationships/ or too much rejection could be dangerous.


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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #21  August 7,2009, 9:39pm
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It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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eH_Advice_Admin_Lori wrote :
Surely he would have been flirted with and such, out in the world -- but if you don't know how to react, what to DO with that type of attention, then you would clearly be nothing but frustrated by it all.
Not necessarily. He may not have been going to places where there were many single women or places that were appropriate for flirting. But the true likelihood is that he viewed the attention that he did get from others as insincere and scheming. From the profile the media gave he presents as a person with severe dependent personality disorder with delusions of grandosity and paranoia which would explain him have a great need for other but the inablity to relate to them in appropriate wasy. So, he probably wrote in his journal about a twisted world that was more twisted in his perception than in reality.
 
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NightengalesSong is offline NightengalesSong Post #22  August 8,2009, 2:26am
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Scary stuff!

Based on the photo in the news story, I, too, think he's good-looking. A photo is one thing, but seeing or being with someone in person can be something entirely different. As someone else mentioned, if he seemed "off" at all, women would have been less likely to go out with him.

I know I won't go out with someone who gives me bad vibes, no matter how good-looking he is. Unfortunately, as someone else mentioned, it's probably the same old chicken-and-the-egg conundrum: he was enraged at rejection from women, but women would have sensed that (or at least that something was very wrong) and stayed away from him, further angering him.

And that same rage probably caused him to act inappropriately or at least disrespect social boundaries, further alarming the women.

It's a vicious circle.

I think there's a super-fine line between someone who acts out like he does and someone who doesn't. I really think those of us who don't act out violently aren't all that different from those who do.

I know that I've been angry enough in the heat of the moment to become VERY violent. The most I've ever done though is throw my brush across the bathroom or smack my cat. It doesn't help that I'm 4'10" and under 100 lBS. I couldn't beat up anyone if I tried.

Obviously, planning a killing spree like he did is something I could do, no matter how small I am. But along with the moral values and 10 Commandments, I was also taught impulse control.

Easy to say, hard to do. Otherwise, I can't really explain the difference between those who aren't violent and those who are. I've certainly been angry enough to be that violent.

The only thing I can attribute it to is FOCUS. You choose what to focus on. When I've been that angry, I've had to deliberately let go and focus on something else. He chose to focus on his rage and feed it, let it control him and direct his actions.

Honestly, I can sympathize with him and what he did. I, too, have experienced consistent rejection and the deep pain and anger that comes with it. I don't condone it. But I do understand it.

Michelle
 
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