I completely disagree with you on this one, nor do I like the tone (maybe you need another swim to correct that? ).

Why would you even use the word "desperate" in this situation?

I don't know, I'm not a man .
I'm an average woman, who does not look like a Supermodel or has any capabilities of a Superhero, and yet I get quite a lot of attention from the average "nothing special" kind of guys quite a lot. If I was even remotely desperate, I would have settled for one of those a long time ago.

So, to me, the fact that she is even considering the possibiity of uprooting her life only to be with this man, who is also reportedly going through some serious personal problems, only serves to tell me that there must be something very special about this guy and the connection they share.

To the OP,
I'm somewhat in agreement with the D_Lion Frog here (another one of those ) -
The fact that you've discussed moving is good and important - no point getting involved, if at the end of the day neither of you are in a position to move.

I also agree that the decision should not be based on emotion, but I'll add a significant word *alone*. This is one of the most important decisions you can make in life, so it should certainly not be based on running hot and cold with emotions. But at the same time, if you don't feel any emotions, then why bother at all?

If I were in your position, I would take my time getting to know this man much better and understanding the real nature of the problems he is currently experiencing in life. Can you live with that and make a happy life out of it, despite the fact that the problems are unlikely to just magically disappear, even if you can alleviate the pain with love, to a degree? This is an important question to answer before you even consider moving.

The answer is not objective, nor should it be based on emotion alone. It should be based on knowledge - intellectual, emotional, physical, etc. The only way you can gain the required knowledge is by getting to know each other better and experiencing the real dynamic of your relationship and interpersonal connection, on many different levels.

Personally, I would need a few in-person real life visits before I would commit to a real reationship with this man, enough to contemplate uprooting my life. Nothing can ever replace observing the person in action in the real world! That's a given and it simply must be done over a period of time before you make any serious committments that will affect both of your lives.

I wish you well. Good Luck!