Was I simply used?


View Poll Results: Did he dump me?
Yes 6 85.71%
No 1 14.29%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
postitgirl is offline postitgirl Post #1  July 29,2009, 4:37pm
postitgirl's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

Hey guys, so I've been talking to this guy since last fall, and we started seeing each other around mid February or so. I thought things were progressing nicely-we shared the same values, had similiar family backgrounds, had mutual interests and the like. He would call me and email me a few times a week when not seeing each other. I went to family birthday parties and other events with him on several occassions, but he was hesitant to meet my family. My family even helped his brother-in-law find a great job.
Anyhow, last time we saw each other he said he'd call me. He waited a whole week and sounded a little off. Since that conversation we've only talked a few times on the phone, and it's been over a week since I returned his call and left a message. What happened? How could he just drop me like this? We are in our thirties!! I don't think it's a good idea for me to call him. Please help!
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #2  July 30,2009, 10:17pm

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Whatever happened or didn't was meaningless it seems that you talked yourself right out of the relationship! You never developed a friendship first so you never got to 2nd. so Forgetaboutit!

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
ActionSoftGuy is offline ActionSoftGuy Post #3  July 30,2009, 11:07pm
ActionSoftGuy's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Burbank, CA

Posts: 151

See profile

Why do you imply he used you? It sounds like he lost interest. That can happen when you meet someone... sometimes it's hard to know if you have interest, and it might take some time for that interest to develop or fade, and for things to become clear. Sometimes it fades instead of increasing. Don't mean he used you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  July 31,2009, 5:05am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,321

See profile

You've already done this whole thread.

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...tml#post692068 (Was I simply used?)


postitgirl wrote :
Hey guys, so I've been talking to this guy since last fall, and we started seeing each other around mid February or so. I thought things were progressing nicely-we shared the same values, had similiar family backgrounds, had mutual interests and the like. He would call me and email me a few times a week when not seeing each other. I went to family birthday parties and other events with him on several occassions, but he was hesitant to meet my family. My family even helped his brother-in-law find a great job.
Anyhow, last time we saw each other he said he'd call me. He waited a whole week and sounded a little off. Since that conversation we've only talked a few times on the phone, and it's been over a week since I returned his call and left a message. What happened? How could he just drop me like this? We are in our thirties!! I don't think it's a good idea for me to call him. Please help!
 
  Reply With Quote
itsbits is offline itsbits Post #5  July 31,2009, 10:38am
itsbits's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Midwest

Posts: 209

See profile

I think he just lost interest. People get the honeymoon feeling and then can't keep it for very long. I'm sorry, I'd let him go.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  August 1,2009, 9:43am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

postitgirl wrote :
Hey guys, so I've been talking to this guy since last fall, and we started seeing each other around mid February or so. I thought things were progressing nicely-we shared the same values, had similiar family backgrounds, had mutual interests and the like. He would call me and email me a few times a week when not seeing each other. I went to family birthday parties and other events with him on several occassions, but he was hesitant to meet my family. My family even helped his brother-in-law find a great job.
Anyhow, last time we saw each other he said he'd call me. He waited a whole week and sounded a little off. Since that conversation we've only talked a few times on the phone, and it's been over a week since I returned his call and left a message. What happened? How could he just drop me like this? We are in our thirties!! I don't think it's a good idea for me to call him. Please help!
No its not a good idea to call him and my guess is that he is seeing someone else.

If he wasnt seeing you regularly he wasnt that interested and was probably dating others during this time. If you are in a LDR this is why those are almost ALWAYS a bad idea.
 
  Reply With Quote
Bouffy is offline Bouffy Post #7  August 1,2009, 11:04am
Bouffy's Avatar

isn't as easy to see through as you think.

Quick Study

Joined: Jul 2008

Sault Ste. Marie ON

Posts: 101

See profile

postitgirl wrote :
Hey guys, so I've been talking to this guy since last fall, and we started seeing each other around mid February or so. I thought things were progressing nicely-we shared the same values, had similiar family backgrounds, had mutual interests and the like. He would call me and email me a few times a week when not seeing each other. I went to family birthday parties and other events with him on several occassions, but he was hesitant to meet my family. My family even helped his brother-in-law find a great job.
Anyhow, last time we saw each other he said he'd call me. He waited a whole week and sounded a little off. Since that conversation we've only talked a few times on the phone, and it's been over a week since I returned his call and left a message. What happened? How could he just drop me like this? We are in our thirties!! I don't think it's a good idea for me to call him. Please help!
Don't think of it as being used. There were some good times too. Just think of it as another step towards learning what you care to find and how you'll evaluate future prospects.

Stay strong, don't let disappointments rule you; instead take them and make the feelings they give you move you towards what you think is a more creative way of living.

Have a strong heart and remember that it'll be stronger because of this.
 
  Reply With Quote
j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  August 1,2009, 11:37am
j0hn8andy's Avatar

.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2009

California

Posts: 5,104

See profile

[quote=Wiseman2;693362]You've already done this whole thread.

http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...tml#post692068 (Was I simply used?)




and still more posts...
 
  Reply With Quote
drbigone is offline drbigone Post #9  August 1,2009, 2:31pm
drbigone's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

You know something, when you put yourself out there heart and soul, you're gonna win or you're gonna lose. The heart stuff is not governed exclusively by logic or intellect but rather many other things including perception, emotion(s), and external forces.

I think you didn't get used as much as maybe what you both thought you had, you really didn't have. I just crashed and burned very painfully in a two year, age gap relationship. I thought we were there ... and forgetting how important things like independence and "friends" are to someone younger than me, I ended up being the second choice in a choice of me or the friends.

Well, you're hurt, I'm hurt ... were either of us used? Probably not ... but we sure did learn some hurtful lessons didn't we?

Hang in there angel ... we'll both survive.
Last edited by drbigone; August 1,2009 at 2:35pm. Reason: spellling errors
 
  Reply With Quote
dietpepsi is offline dietpepsi Post #10  August 3,2009, 6:31am
dietpepsi's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 295

See profile

Not wanting to meet your family is THE cardinal sign that he doesn't want to share a future with you.

It's so dead on, that I try to get my family to go on the first few dates with me. Just kidding, but would save me a helluva lotta time!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Was I simply used? | Relationships | She chose her guy friends over me ... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why is physical apperance such an issue Manicbutterfly About You 198 December 25,2010 7:23pm
Was I simply used? postitgirl Relationships 21 August 2,2009 9:54pm
Class Reunions Wonderwoman402 About You 30 July 24,2009 10:29pm
Dating someone with a physical impairment AustinShaguar Dating 64 July 19,2009 8:10pm
Dating success made simply! D_Lion Dating 33 May 13,2009 6:30pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:15pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0