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sthngrlc sthngrlc is offline
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I want thoughts on this issue, especially guys who may have a tendency to be jealous. I started to date a guy (semi-long distance) and within a month he told me that before he could be serious with me, he would need me to not hangout with guys. He told me I could choose to, but if so he couldn't be in a serious dating/relationship with me. I agreed, thinking he was worth it. After 6 months and he acting odd and talking about breaking up, I finally went out with 2 girlfriends to a small party. I lied to him knowing he would get very mad and probably break up with me for that alone. I wanted him to breakup with me for a concrete reason and not because I hungout with people. I guess my question is why do guys act like this? I know lying is wrong, but come on are all guys like this? And yes, he broke up because I ended up confessing after I lied to him for a night.
- July 24th, 2009, 05:53 am
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BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is offline
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Yes ...all guys are psychotic-nutjob-control-freaks who won't want to be in a relationship with you unless you promise to stop hanging around with other people.

Sheez. Count yourself lucky you got away from this loser and the next guy who makes such a demand of you, you'll know it's never worth it.
- July 24th, 2009, 12:43 pm
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becomingsabrina becomingsabrina is offline
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Some women can be like this also. I've never been a "jealous" person per say but I did meet ONE man in my life that brought that side of me out. I felt as though I wanted him all the time, all to myself. The thought of him wanting someone else tormented me. I felt like I had turned into a different person. Needless to say that relationship didnt last long . Now that I'm years over it and can think about it with a sense of humor, I would love to figure out what it was about that particular man that brought that out in me.

anyone else? or is it just me? maybe he was the only man I ever really FULLY wanted with a passion
- July 24th, 2009, 01:20 pm
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CJF CJF is offline
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The guy was already making demands on you before you even entered into a relationship. Be glad it's over.

All guys are not like this. Some don't even care what we do ;-)

(of course those that don't care expect the same freedom).
- July 24th, 2009, 01:33 pm
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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Sorry but this guy sounds like a complete psycho and a control freak. Thankfully most people at large are not like that. Hope you now know that this type of a person is never really worth it - they have way too many mental problems to be capable of a healthy relationship.
- July 24th, 2009, 02:09 pm
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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becomingsabrina wrote :
Some women can be like this also. I've never been a "jealous" person per say but I did meet ONE man in my life that brought that side of me out. I felt as though I wanted him all the time, all to myself. The thought of him wanting someone else tormented me. I felt like I had turned into a different person. Needless to say that relationship didnt last long . Now that I'm years over it and can think about it with a sense of humor, I would love to figure out what it was about that particular man that brought that out in me.

anyone else? or is it just me? maybe he was the only man I ever really FULLY wanted with a passion
Something about his actions made you feel insecure - you did not feel like you are THE woman in his life and THE person who matters to him.
- July 24th, 2009, 02:11 pm
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Wiseman2 Wiseman2 is offline
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Very good posts, yes BikerBeagle, this guy does sound like a controlling pyscho. And as far as becomingsabrina's post, very poignant, if it was that situational, your instincts may have been right that he could, would not really be yours, in other words, he could have been a ladies man who had the ladies around all the time and kept you wondering. These two posts are interesting ends of the spectrum of " he too into me...and insanely jealous" and "he's into to everyone, me too?" Interesting, both of these types who are jealous or try to make you jealous are insecure and usually need a gagle of women around, hence the paranoia with Mr. Possesive, and uneasiness with Mr. Playboy.
becomingsabrina wrote :
Some women can be like this also. I've never been a "jealous" person per say but I did meet ONE man in my life that brought that side of me out. I felt as though I wanted him all the time, all to myself. The thought of him wanting someone else tormented me. I felt like I had turned into a different person. Needless to say that relationship didnt last long . Now that I'm years over it and can think about it with a sense of humor, I would love to figure out what it was about that particular man that brought that out in me.
anyone else? or is it just me? maybe he was the only man I ever really FULLY wanted with a passion
BikerBeagle wrote :
Yes ...all guys are psychotic-nutjob-control-freaks who won't want to be in a relationship with you unless you promise to stop hanging around with other people.
Sheez. Count yourself lucky you got away from this loser and the next guy who makes such a demand of you, you'll know it's never worth it.
- July 24th, 2009, 02:56 pm
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sthngrlc sthngrlc is offline
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Thanks for the insights. I agree that it's a good thing it is over. The thing that seems funny is that he was so jealous yet he broke-up with me and therefore no longer had say over what I did. I'm not a bad person, but I just couldn't take it any longer...I missed my friends. Couldn't even hangout with my best girl friend and her boyfriend of several years unless he was there.
- July 24th, 2009, 03:06 pm
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KungFuFtr KungFuFtr is offline
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One of my first girlfriends (17ish) was a very jealous girl. She on the other hand was a massive flirt and tease with other guys. She thrived on attention and was disappointed that I wouldn't yell at her and put her in her place. I lost interest very fast.
- July 24th, 2009, 03:23 pm
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olneyjeeps olneyjeeps is offline
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In my humble opinion / observations, jealousy is a clear sign of insecurity. The jealous person is afraid that their partner will find someone who makes them happier and therefore will replace them.
Two schools of avoiding being replaced:
1: By implementing jealous requirements /limitations/threats shielding from possibility from meeting someone
2: making yourself irreplaceable (incidentally, the school I ascribe to)
- July 24th, 2009, 08:12 pm
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