needing advice

I will try to make this short.
I was married for 14 years and then divorced. A few years later, I met a man who was dating me and talking/visiting/emailing SEVERAL other women at the same time. He knew I thought it was exclusive. I remember him telling me that one particular woman just showed up at his house Later, it was because he called her! After the marriage, I discovered how bad it really was. He had been in communication with a "friend" for a year into our relationship (not while married).This sickened me and I felt played.
And yes, I know, very stupid of me.

When we were going to get married, I wanted a small wedding. He just wanted to get married. He knew I wanted something. I didn't want his exmother in law or sister in law there. So, he didn't want a wedding. At one point the exsister-in-law even wrote him a letter telling him how she had found a man since he had been gone. Now, I don't know what all that means, but it sure sounded odd to me.

The marriage was a nightmare. He had a major anger issue-smashed holes into the walls of my home, locked himself up in the bathroom,
he seemed to want to control the money also and would not help me with the maintance of my house. He came into the marriage with nothing of his own, except MAJOR debt, which I knew about. Also, he sprayed my daughter in the face with the water hose because he said she was disrespecting me. The police were called by neighbors.

He has a son of which he nor his ex pays child support. She lives with her mother and mom does all that. He thought I should share my child support with his son though!!! That was not happening.
He was really very emotionally abusive, but at times could be very kind. When I had a major surgery, he was right there.

I divorced him in 2007, but we continued to see each other.
He has pursued me since then. I told him he would have to change his ways. At this point, I am just tired of it. I see some changes, but not any that make me want him back.

He has told me he hasn't dated or seen anyone, but then I found out he has been taking someone he works with out on trips to other towns to flea markets and he has been to her house,etc... One day he will tell me it's nothing then the next day he'll say he kissed her on the neck and she kissed him on the lips. Who knows? He told me he would break it off and then I told him to just go on and he comes back with he did tell her. But in the middle of the disagreement, he never said he had done this. I think he is lying.

He has been coming over and doing things in my house now, but I just don't trust him anymore. I have told him I don't need him to do these things and I want to at least pay him. He will not take any money. Hmmm...

I don't want to live like this anymore, it is just too much drama. I know a blended family is hard, but it was more him than anything or anyone else. I know most of this is in the past, but you know what they say.

I really want a calmer life for myself and my children. Maybe I am afraid of being alone, I don't know.

Judge Judy and P.T.Barnum said it best!

Judy: "Good looks fade, but dumb is forever."

P.T.: "There's a sucker born every minute."

Do you need the house to fall on you to smarten up for yourself ?

Harvey7.

Dude, weak. Adding a smiley doesn't make that sound nicer. She just wanted some validation and encouragement. Why not say; "You seem to already know what to do. Go do it and good luck."