teach1005 is offline teach1005 Post #1  July 19,2009, 7:13am
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I'm looking for male or female insight here....I am divorced for about 8 months now and if you read on, you will know why.
My husband didn't cheat, abuse, have an addiction problem, etc....No, instead my 33 year old "man" of a husband would visit his parents at home, and literally not be able to return. Upon leaving, more often than not he would just vanish and either a) not come home or b) come home massive amounts of hours later, mind you, with NO explanations, calls, or apologies.
My husband did confess to ending up on bathroom floors of gas station rest stops, crying and vomitting, He also had episodes of crying, spitting, and truly blacking out come the next morning.
I LOVED my husband more than I ever knew was possible. I sought out all types of help for him and us. Unfortuantely, the problem did not subside.
As I mentioned, I am now divorced, for surely I could not see a house or family with this person. I am moving on as well. I've recently entered back into the dating scene. Although he is not my problem anymore, at times I do wonder, what could bring a person to this type of behaviore. Any thoughts? THANKS!
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #2  July 19,2009, 1:59pm
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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Your ex-husband evidently has some sort of serious psychological disorder (e.g., a severe anxiety disorder). It is beyond the scope of anyone on these boards to properly assess and diagnose him, though. It's unfortunate that your efforts to help him did not succeed; perhaps at a later point he will be more ready to confront his problems and get treatment.

It can be very frustrating to be in your position, seeking an explanation and a way to understand someone you love and his behavior. Unfortunately, there just isn't always an explanation. And, even if there is one (e.g., mental illness), it doesn't remove one's sadness that someone they love is suffering or empower them to "fix" their loved one.

Good luck with moving forward yourself.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #3  July 19,2009, 2:27pm

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To little information to even venture a guess! How long where you married? When did it start and what seemed to trigger it besides you or his parents? Did you have him committed during your marriage? There are a lot of things that your holding back! Forget and move onto a new life.

Harvey7.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #4  July 19,2009, 6:44pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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neardc wrote :
Your ex-husband evidently has some sort of serious psychological disorder (e.g., a severe anxiety disorder). It is beyond the scope of anyone on these boards to properly assess and diagnose him, though. It's unfortunate that your efforts to help him did not succeed; perhaps at a later point he will be more ready to confront his problems and get treatment.

It can be very frustrating to be in your position, seeking an explanation and a way to understand someone you love and his behavior. Unfortunately, there just isn't always an explanation. And, even if there is one (e.g., mental illness), it doesn't remove one's sadness that someone they love is suffering or empower them to "fix" their loved one.

Good luck with moving forward yourself.

Why am I feeling so surprisingly Near to DC, despite all the objective distance? Any ideas?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  July 19,2009, 6:50pm
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Harvey7 wrote :
To little information to even venture a guess! How long where you married? When did it start and what seemed to trigger it besides you or his parents? Did you have him committed during your marriage? There are a lot of things that your holding back! Forget and move onto a new life.

Harvey7.
My Dearest Dr. Harvey,
It is so nice to cross paths with you again on planet eHA
This distinguished, navy shade of Blue comically suits you

But would you care to elaborate on the highlighted portion and explain your recommended methodology to us, mere mortal women, who simply want to French Kiss the man we really love, without ducks of any color or blow pops of any flavor?
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #6  July 19,2009, 7:39pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
My Dearest Dr. Harvey,
It is so nice to cross paths with you again on planet eHA
This distinguished, navy shade of Blue comically suits you

But would you care to elaborate on the highlighted portion and explain your recommended methodology to us, mere mortal women, who simply want to French Kiss the man we really love, without ducks of any color or blow pops of any flavor?
I have no idea what this means, but what does it have to do with the original post? The OP was looking for some advice about a completely different topic (I see no mention of french kissing, ducks of any color, or blow pops), and not for a total change of topic (I believe that's called thread jacking), or a continuation of the differences that you two seem to have that I've seen on other threads. Could you please take that stuff to PM so the rest of us can focus on the OP's concerns? Thanks.

To the OP, I think neardc's post was right on the money. I really believe that only a medical doctor can make a diagnosis about something like this, and this isn't the place for anyone, with or without a license, to be pontificating about possible or probable diagnoses based on little information and never having met him.

I wish you nothing but the best when it comes to moving forward with your life, as it sounds like you've endured a great deal of pain and frustration in your past.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #7  July 20,2009, 6:44am

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Why am I feeling so surprisingly Near to DC, despite all the objective distance? Any ideas?
How about a "BLOW-POP" ?

Harvey7.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  July 20,2009, 7:30am
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Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

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As brneyed angel noted, the OP has asked a serious question and is looking for thoughtful advice. Let's please keep the responses on-topic.

Thank you.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  July 20,2009, 8:31am
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He was obviously leading a double life that he felt horrible about. You claim he didn't cheat or have substance, behavioral addictions....... Yet he had hours of unaccounted for time? Please don't fool yourself like this again, there was a problem here and a huge one. I have a couple of theories:

He was on the low-down, meaning married but gay.

There was some other thing, prostitutes,?

No one leave for hours/ days at a time, with no explanation.

The parents? Head in the sand also? No one ever referred him to a psychiatrist? or followed him on his amnesic fugue states?
Where has everybody been with this?
teach1005 wrote :
I'm looking for male or female insight here....I am divorced for about 8 months now and if you read on, you will know why.
My husband didn't cheat, abuse, have an addiction problem, etc....No, instead my 33 year old "man" of a husband would visit his parents at home, and literally not be able to return. Upon leaving, more often than not he would just vanish and either a) not come home or b) come home massive amounts of hours later, mind you, with NO explanations, calls, or apologies.
My husband did confess to ending up on bathroom floors of gas station rest stops, crying and vomiting, He also had episodes of crying, spitting, and truly blacking out come the next morning.
I LOVED my husband more than I ever knew was possible. I sought out all types of help for him and us. Unfortunately, the problem did not subside.
As I mentioned, I am now divorced, for surely I could not see a house or family with this person. I am moving on as well. I've recently entered back into the dating scene. Although he is not my problem anymore, at times I do wonder, what could bring a person to this type of behavior. Any thoughts? THANKS!
 
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greatwhitenorth is offline greatwhitenorth Post #10  July 20,2009, 10:49am
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You say your husband didn't have an addiction problem - does this include alcohol?

Does he have epilepsy? Sometimes people suffer blackouts after having a seizure. This wouldn't account for the vomiting though.

Did you ever talk to him about the problem? If so, what did he tell you?

Did you talk with his parents about his behavior? If so, were they able to shed light on the problem?
 
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