a question for the 40-something+ women from a never married man


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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  July 18,2009, 6:38pm
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When I was on match.com, where people are allowed to state their preferences, I was amazed that so, so many women - even ones who had never been married themselves - stated a preference for divorced, widowed, even separated, but not never married men.

I asked a number of these women why, stating that a reply would not be interpreted as interest in me. However I never got an answer. As I was leaving match.com, I asked for the last time one never married woman, looking only for a previously married man. Like the others, she did not reply. However, looking at her profile a couple of days later, I noted she had included "never married" among her preferences! Maybe I gave her something to think about.

Before you ask, I stated in my preferences "any".
 
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RebornInFire is offline RebornInFire Post #2  July 18,2009, 7:05pm
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Well from my personal experience, never-married older men are weird. But that's just me.
 
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just_a_click_away is offline just_a_click_away Post #3  July 18,2009, 7:06pm
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I have not done much dating since my divorce and it so happened that I ended up dating a never married man who was in his late 40's. He was very self-absorbed and with time revealed that he mostly just had his best interests on his mind. He never really became emotional available or put “us (meaning me and him)” ahead of his own needs. He also had some interesting takes on how to interact with my children. I would hope that his patterns are isolated and only apply to him; however I know I would be cautious when again dating a single never married man.
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #4  July 18,2009, 7:10pm
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Being never married before myself, I prefer "never been married" men with no children.
 
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chrlesmd is offline chrlesmd Post #5  July 18,2009, 8:06pm
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I recently dated someone who kept asking me why I've never been married. It's kind of weird how society seems to value someone who's divorced more than someone who's never been married. Like it's a badge of honor or something.

Funny thing is, a few of the women I've dated who were divorced were only married a couple years. Seems to me that they made a bad choice...in what was is that better?
 
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chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #6  July 18,2009, 8:12pm
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Because it's not the norm, so it makes them nervous. A lot of women assume the guy is either selfish and immature or a commitment-phobe.

I know guys that are in their 30s and 40s and have never married. For some of them, the stereotype is absolutely true, but for others, they just haven't found anyone worth sticking with.

In other words, unmarried guys are not much different from divorced guys.
 
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vapsman88 is offline vapsman88 Post #7  July 18,2009, 8:23pm
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RebornInFire wrote :
Well from my personal experience, never-married older men are weird. But that's just me.
That's just you.
 
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vapsman88 is offline vapsman88 Post #8  July 18,2009, 8:24pm
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just_a_click_away wrote :
I have not done much dating since my divorce and it so happened that I ended up dating a never married man who was in his late 40's. He was very self-absorbed and with time revealed that he mostly just had his best interests on his mind. He never really became emotional available or put “us (meaning me and him)” ahead of his own needs. He also had some interesting takes on how to interact with my children. I would hope that his patterns are isolated and only apply to him; however I know I would be cautious when again dating a single never married man.
Oh because everybody is the same. How open minded of you.
 
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vapsman88 is offline vapsman88 Post #9  July 18,2009, 8:25pm
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AsianFusion wrote :
Being never married before myself, I prefer "never been married" men with no children.
See! I told you the alien was lucky.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #10  July 18,2009, 8:25pm
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I would be a little hesitant simply because it is so unusual. I'm trying to think if I actually know any, and I don't think I do.

Playing Devil's Advocate, I could make a good case for a never married man. He's not coming with the encumbrances of prior children and Trusts and all those other irritations that could hinder an inheritance!
 
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