cceclineman is offline cceclineman Post #1  July 15,2009, 12:57pm
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I've been seeing a woman for about two months now but there's a big problem.She has an apartment with a basement that her boyfriend lives in.She has been seeing him for three years.He was "the other guy" she was seeing when they were found out.She says she isn't sorry about this because she was staying married for the kids sake,23,21,19 and 13.Two of her kids have disowned her ,the other two accept her situation.She says she no longer wants to stay in this relationship with him because she is unhappy with him but won't leave him because he lost his job and house because of their infidelity. She said she wants to be with me but is concerned with what her children will think.I am hoping she will dump him and be with me .Am I pi**ing in the wind?
Last edited by cceclineman; July 15,2009 at 1:03pm.
 
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howlong is offline howlong Post #2  July 15,2009, 1:15pm
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So wait what?

She was cheating on her husband with another guy. But now she is cheating on him with you?

Is this a wrong assessment?

If it isnt, she has cheated twice so what makes you think you wont be the next?
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #3  July 15,2009, 1:23pm
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Nothing to see here at all...

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howlong wrote :
Is this a wrong assessment?
Certainly sounds like that to me, and my couch seems to be in agreement with both of us...
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  July 15,2009, 1:26pm
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This pretty much sums it up, not to mention the drama of the ex's, kids, and living arrangements. frankly she sounds like a mess with poor boundaries
howlong wrote :
So wait what?

She was cheating on her husband with another guy. But now she is cheating on him with you?

Is this a wrong assessment?

If it isnt, she has cheated twice so what makes you think you wont be the next?
 
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cceclineman is offline cceclineman Post #5  July 15,2009, 1:35pm
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She seems very genuine about her feelings for me .She said she was in a loveless marriage for the last ten years so I can see her reason for seeing someone else.Maybe she responded to him because he was handy and they both worked at the same place.Now she has finally come to her senses and is looking with her eyes a lot clearer .
 
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WishingWell is offline WishingWell Post #6  July 15,2009, 1:35pm
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Drama! The big problem is that she doesn't seem interested in doing right by anyone. This will include you at some later date.
 
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howlong is offline howlong Post #7  July 15,2009, 2:02pm
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cceclineman wrote :
She seems very genuine about her feelings for me .She said she was in a loveless marriage for the last ten years so I can see her reason for seeing someone else.Maybe she responded to him because he was handy and they both worked at the same place.Now she has finally come to her senses and is looking with her eyes a lot clearer .
Even if it was a loveless marriage at least have the respect to wait or end it. I would think that if you get disowned by your kids that is fairly substantial and more than meets the eye.

If she really is seeing things clearly then she should have dumped the guy at LEAST 2 months ago. Seems like she is probably just using the guy in some way (ie rent or something) and you are just the next guy.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #8  July 15,2009, 2:05pm

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so, you're willing to support her, her grown kids as well as her husband, who lives in the basement??
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #9  July 15,2009, 2:06pm
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WishingWell wrote :
Drama! The big problem is that she doesn't seem interested in doing right by anyone. This will include you at some later date.
What's your percentage of certainty on this one?

I tend to reserve forgone conclusions, especially when only presented with one aspect of the situation. There is simply not enough information in the OP to even make an educated guess. Each situation is different, as is each individual, both need to be carefully evaluated before jumping to any conclusions, in my personal view on most matters, of course.
 
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howlong is offline howlong Post #10  July 15,2009, 2:07pm
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txbubba wrote :
so, you're willing to support her, her grown kids as well as her husband, who lives in the basement??
No her husband doesnt live in the basement, the boyfriend who caused the break up in her marriage did.

I assume that was the actual cause of the breakup and it seems from the OP it was long time coming and that was just the straw that broke the camels back
Last edited by howlong; July 15,2009 at 2:18pm.
 
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