Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #1  July 13,2009, 7:48pm
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Can an early bird and a night owl find long-term happiness together?

Please share your relationship experience in this regard, both the positives and negatives.

Personally, I think it's a bad idea to mix the two, but could maybe be pursueded by some success stories (even if the relationship didn't last for other reasons).
 
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SizzlinSaguaro is offline SizzlinSaguaro Post #2  July 13,2009, 7:50pm
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In my experience, the only way it works is when one is willing to go without significant periods of sleep. I can't do that for extended periods of time.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  July 13,2009, 8:21pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Can an early bird and a night owl find long-term happiness together?

Please share your relationship experience in this regard, both the positives and negatives.

Personally, I think it's a bad idea to mix the two, but could maybe be pursueded by some success stories (even if the relationship didn't last for other reasons).
Honestly, I think it's hard enough to find a compatible person without digging that far down on the criteria list. Adding things like to to a MH/CS list would probably make it just about impossible for me to find someone.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #4  July 13,2009, 8:29pm
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I hope it works to mix the 2. I have always been a night owl. Heck during my marriage, we would make a batch of nacho's at 10:30pm to start a 2 hour movie. Most of my relationships have been with night owls. Look, here it is 12:16am and I am not tired but I know I need to go to bed. For years I have been getting by with 4-5 hours of sleep and sometimes less. Many times going to bed and counting on one hand how many hours I have to sleep and not really wanting to. If there was a switch we could flick when we were born not to have to sleep or eat, I would have wanted to switch both OFF (no sleep, no eat needed). If I were to choose one it would be no sleep. I am now in a relationship with the opposite. She goes to bed between 9-10, heck I could NEVER do that. But when I stay there I do and I gotta say, I have no brain farts during the day and all this time I thought my brain farts were just normal for me, heck engineers are suppose to be abnormal, people expect that from us. I would surely change my night owl habits for good when and if we end up together but when I am home, well, it is 12:21 am right now and I have to get up at 6am for work, hee hee. Might have a couple brain farts tomorrow but then again since being involved with her, I haven't because I stay over there every other week. I personally think it can work, I feel better believe it or not with the extra sleep. Not saying that it would be better if she WAS a night owl. I sometimes get my second wind at 10pm.
 
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tommyboy047 is offline tommyboy047 Post #5  July 13,2009, 8:33pm
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Looking back I wonder how I did not get FAT from all those late night nachos but I am a very active person and my metabolism is high. But I am getting older, so I don't eat that late anymore.
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #6  July 13,2009, 8:34pm
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Having been both, I am evidence that it can be changed (not saying it isn't easy). Key is physically active/healthy and lots of coffee! Changing cycle is small cost that true love will make "sacrifice" seem totally insigniffigant
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #7  July 13,2009, 9:04pm
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I"m an owl who's always ended up with larks :-( I'd love to find someone with sleep patterns as strange as mine!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #8  July 13,2009, 9:23pm
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It worked very well for me, as do most small things, when people want to make them work.

But why do you need to be pursuaded?
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #9  July 13,2009, 10:04pm
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It worked for my mom and dad for years, in my family. He worked in the dairy industry, third shift, while my mom taught.

They were like two ships passing in the night, some days. But others, they got to spend time together early and late. Dad would get up early for his shift and spend an hour or two with Mom at the end of the day. He kept up with his kids (me and my sis) and even took time off during days sometimes to see us.

It can work, but it *is* work. It's one of those things in a relationship that doesn't fit together like puzzle pieces, but has to take some effort on both people's parts.

If you are naturally going to be this way, make the best of what time you have. Don't waste it. I don't think different schedules is reason enough to let a great relationship go. Think of the joy you could still share! After all, what have you got to lose, compared to what you might win?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  July 14,2009, 3:28am
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Life changes and sleep patterns will have to change accordingly so you may be an owl now and in the future be a lark.

I used to be an owl, then work changed that and now I'm up at the crack of dawn. Was with someone who is an owl and with a work schedule that let's him sleep until noon. It worked just fine and did not affect our relationship in the least. I rather enjoyed my time to myself in the morning.

I think the only time these kinds of things become a problem is when two people try to control each other and take adversarial positions. For instance, the lark tries to get the owl to go to sleep early or wake them up early or vice versa. Of course control issues will doom just about any relationship.
 
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