It's been a crazy relationship, Should I let it continue?


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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #11  July 14,2009, 11:59am

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The good news is don't give up the lady or the relationship. The smartest thing that you can do is to set up an appointment for you and your lady to meet jointly with her Neurologist. Your lady is suffering from what is called Cordial Depression Syndrome also called (CDS). Which in it's self is very manageable with medication.

The problem is management of the medication after awhile when everything is going well the users think that they are well enough to modify their medication because they are feeling almost normal, which is an illusion.

The best place for her condition is the Head Ache Center at NYU and The Head Ache Center at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in NYC, if you don't live near NY check a teaching hospital in your area that has a Head Ache Clinic. They also give her anti-depression and tranquilizers to treat the depression. Don't get scared off get educated from her doctor and you will see it is a very manageable illness. If you need more info. drop me a note and I've been their before with someone else.

Harvey7.
Last edited by Harvey7; July 14,2009 at 12:03pm.
 
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SizzlinSaguaro is offline SizzlinSaguaro Post #12  July 14,2009, 7:13pm
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Thanks for your responses everybody. Just a couple of notes though. As I understand it, her closed head injury and depression are not related. She was already suffering from the depression before she had her closed head injury. That is not to say that her depression was not adversely affected with the head injury.

I also do not feel that I am rescuing her. I really am not looking forward to the next trip to the emergency room. I have also told her that misusing her perscription drugs will be grounds for me to leave, and since her mom took over that responsiblilty, there have been no other incidents. I love the person she is underneath all of this. I would marry her in a heartbeat, if it weren't for all of these issues. When things are good, she is smart, fun, outgoing, laughs, etc. However most of the time she lies in bed, It's hard to get her to go places. Many things that I enjoy doing, I have to do by myself. When I said that I feel that all I am is a caretaker, I meant that I don't feel like I have a partner in a relationship. What has kept me with her is when she is feeling good, and her little baby. However, I don't know if this is enough to keep me with her. Thanks for all of your comments.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #13  July 14,2009, 8:51pm
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You don't sound like a partner in the relationship. You sound more like a guardian or father figure.

Are you willing to be a guardian for a lifetime? When her little girl grows up and moves away, and if her mother is no longer around, would you be OK with monitoring her meds, handling the medical emergencies? Are you willing to make the lifetime commitment?

And what do you want in a relationship? You've only talked about one year's worth of issues. Will you be satisfied after five years in this living arrangement? 20 years? I would move very slowly in this relationship if I were you. Or end it now.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #14  July 14,2009, 9:43pm

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The key is to educate yourself by meeting with her Neurologist. Your lady is suffering from what is called Cordial Depression Syndrome also called (CDS). Which in it's self is very manageable with medication.

The real issue or problem is that she was misdiagnosed and now you have a name for them to look at!

Harvey7.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #15  July 14,2009, 11:56pm
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Unless you get help too, I am not so sure, as the others, that this will help or hinder. You need to get some advice from a doctor and not just from us. Her condition could worsen or if they find out for sure what is wrong, it could get better. It's anyone's guess, even a doctor does a lot of guess work trying to figure things out. And it usually takes them a while to weed out what it "might be". Unless you get lucky and are pointed in the right direction.

You have to make the choice for you and her. I've seen and heard of, men and women, who put themselves into these positions and they get respite time. They are totally willing to give up both time and energy to help the one they want the most in their lives. It's a huge lesson in both love ,understanding and compassion. It's not an easy decision to make. You have to find what you can handle and not handle and then be ok with it.

Take Care and God Bless...
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #16  July 15,2009, 12:49am
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Lets see:

Pills, mental health issues and kids that arent yours. The trifecta is complete.

Leave while you still have your own bollocks.
 
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sodone is offline sodone Post #17  July 15,2009, 3:23am
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Don't forget that you need help and support too. Do you have a support system? I think it's admirable that you are supportive in such a difficult situation, but maybe consider a therapist for each of you. Sound to me like she needs help in breaking distructive patterns, and you need support as well as encouragement to not enable her.

Good luck to you!
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #18  July 15,2009, 6:25am
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Harvey7 wrote :
The key is to educate yourself by meeting with her Neurologist. Your lady is suffering from what is called Cordial Depression Syndrome also called (CDS). Which in it's self is very manageable with medication.

The real issue or problem is that she was misdiagnosed and now you have a name for them to look at!

Harvey7.
Well, hello my dearest Dr. Harvey7.!

Can we please look at! some of your Medical Diagnostic Qualifications before we fly off into the sunset with it?
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #19  July 15,2009, 7:35am

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IcecreamMoon wrote :
Well, hello my dearest Dr. Harvey7.!

Can we please look at! some of your Medical Diagnostic Qualifications before we fly off into the sunset with it?
Dear Dr. Ice Cream,
Been there before and recognize the symptom's purely coincidental, but it's this gentleman's lucky day, that I gave him 2 places that treats it and also put name to his lady's illness.

Harvey7.

PS, A Blow Pop is a Lolly Pop that is shaped like a whistle
and it allows you to suck and blow at the same time!
Would you like me to send you one?
Last edited by Harvey7; July 15,2009 at 9:25am.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #20  July 15,2009, 10:02am
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I truly sympathize with your situation and empathize with your girl's situation. From a medical standpoint, she will never be 100% free of seizures. Even the best medication only helps control the seizures. It does not eliminate the seizures. There also is the chance her seizures can bring on a stroke which may or may not affect her speech center, her cognitive function and her mobility. This can happen even if she were taking all her medications religiously and as directed. What you have to decide is whether or not you can live with this situation. If you do marry her and adopt her child, should she be permanently incapititated you would become the caretaker for her and the child. I would suggest you think this situation very carefully. Good luck
 
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