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velvetblk415 velvetblk415 is offline
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I think making the plans so close together comes off as a bit overbearing and may give the impression that being too clingy may be an issue later on. There should be input from both parties as to where the next date should be. If a woman is really feeling you then she would call you because you were on her mind. So just leave the first date open ended by saying I really enjoyed your company tonight. If you want to get together again just give me a call. We can do something you would like to do. So if she doesn't call, you don't have to bother wasting your time or money on 2 more dates. Good Luck.
- July 16th, 2009, 01:24 am
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Icouldwriteabook Icouldwriteabook is offline
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pj33 wrote :
I have been on e-harmony for about 3 years.

When I first joined, I met somebody within the first few weeks. We dated for about 7 months. I honestly thought she was the one, but later she broke up with me.

Since then, I had several relationships that lasted anywhere between 3-4 months. However, since last year I have been in a rut.

I've been out with about 25 girls since last fall and just can't get past the 3rd or 4th date. I either get blown off or just told that they don't feel the chemistry isn't there.

I don't know if I come on too strong. I don't think I do. I usually go out on the first date make plans for a second date during our date for 3-4 days later. And then after the 2nd date give them a call 2 days after our second date to make plans for a 3rd date.

The first date usually consists of drinks or dinner & drinks. The second date is usually dinner and a movie or just dinner.

Am I doing something wrong?
No right or wrong here. Sounds reasonable what you are doing. My only suggestion would be to perhaps not plan the second date during the first unless she definitely expresses interest in you. If she is not "feeling it" she might feel put on the spot. After the date, call her or email saying you had a good time and would like to go out with her again. But of course, some people might disagree with this.
But ultimately, I don't think this is a problem.

It is just a matter of timing and the luck of the draw. I was on Eharmony for a few months and I had very little interest, went off for a while, came back on 3-4 months later and all of sudden I have tons of interest. Go figure!

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, especially if nothing you are doing has changed, just be patient.
- July 16th, 2009, 01:40 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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D_Lion wrote :
...and I would never go to a movie.


Frog, it's just not like you to give up this easily. I'm still looking for something about Obama's "stimulus package" playing at a cinema near you. Be patient and give me some time to work my Moon Magic, please! And have a beer while you are waiting, just to ease the nerves of eager anticipation...




D_Lion wrote :
...
D_Lion wrote :
My first dates are long dinners minimum, and my second is usually a full day. Whatever, if what you’re doing is not working, try some different things; evaluate the outcome and experiment further.
I've heard this too many times now. Actions speak louder than words, you know. Where are we going and who is paying for what? And please keep in mind that I'm "not common" and I happily drink certain types of alcohol, with or without a meal (hint: whiskey and beer factories are not even a remote possibility - exercise that amazing imagination, please!)
- July 16th, 2009, 07:25 am
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stevex stevex is offline
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stevex Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

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I am going to agree with others that you aren't doing anything "wrong". Rejection is a very difficult thing to overcome and when it seems every single woman you meet is rejecting you it brings up the fear that maybe perhaps you are doing something wrong or that there is something with you. I assure you, most of us, or at least I know I have thought the same thing plenty of times before.

So here is the fact of the matter, first off think of the number of women and women on this earth. Statistically speaking the Earth's population is estimated at 6.771 billion, and while not accurate at all if we split that in half we would have an 3,385,500,000 women on earth. Completely incorrect I am not using accurate figures here just trying to prove a point. So how unique of a guy are you? I maybe over estimating to think that 500,000 of those women would be compatible with me. Maybe it is closer to 100,000. I have no scientific basis for my thoughts and figures (other than total world population which I pulled the most recent numbers of wikipedia). My point being, getting rejected by even 100 women is nothing to be worried about. The search shall continue and someone that fancies you as much as you fancy them will come along.
- July 16th, 2009, 10:00 am
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foreverhis foreverhis is offline
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Personally, it's hard for me to eat in front of someone I don't know, so going out to dinner is old, boring and uncomfortable. I would rather go to a concert in the park, walk and talk, go to a museum or something similar, go bowling.....something where we are actually doing something rather than trying to find things to talk about and keep food from sticking between our teeth.
- July 16th, 2009, 01:02 pm
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legend29 is definitely a work in progress...i am what i am...adios mio!

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foreverhis wrote :
Personally, it's hard for me to eat in front of someone I don't know, so going out to dinner is old, boring and uncomfortable. I would rather go to a concert in the park, walk and talk, go to a museum or something similar, go bowling.....something where we are actually doing something rather than trying to find things to talk about and keep food from sticking between our teeth.
...I thought I was the only person that felt like this!

I hate first dates that involve dining or sitting still. I much rather be involved in some sort of activity. That is better than trying to figure out how I look chewing...or as you say, worrying whether I have a piece of salad in my teeth! Yuck!!!!!!!!!....
- July 16th, 2009, 01:19 pm
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MizzS MizzS is offline
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pj33 wrote :
I have been on e-harmony for about 3 years.

When I first joined, I met somebody within the first few weeks. We dated for about 7 months. I honestly thought she was the one, but later she broke up with me.

Since then, I had several relationships that lasted anywhere between 3-4 months. However, since last year I have been in a rut.

I've been out with about 25 girls since last fall and just can't get past the 3rd or 4th date. I either get blown off or just told that they don't feel the chemistry isn't there.

I don't know if I come on too strong. I don't think I do. I usually go out on the first date make plans for a second date during our date for 3-4 days later. And then after the 2nd date give them a call 2 days after our second date to make plans for a 3rd date.

The first date usually consists of drinks or dinner & drinks. The second date is usually dinner and a movie or just dinner.

Am I doing something wrong?

Er well it could be that during the first date you are instantly making plans for the next, for some reason I think of speed dating lol Let things happen naturally ^_^ some women may find it intimidating that you making all of these plans.

- July 20th, 2009, 02:08 pm
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Benevolence32 Benevolence32 is offline
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Uhm I don't know if you're being serious or not but you're doing much better than the majority of guys that use online dating. Serial dater status is better than no dates at all. Have to agree with BikerBeagle these types of threads prove to me that online dating only works for a very small percentage of men. The same guys are basically recycled over and over by women it seems like.
- July 20th, 2009, 03:11 pm
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