Is anyone else going through this?


Reply
  • Page 3 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
velvetblk415 is offline velvetblk415 Post #21  July 16,2009, 12:24am
velvetblk415's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2008

Virginia

Posts: 20

See profile

I think making the plans so close together comes off as a bit overbearing and may give the impression that being too clingy may be an issue later on. There should be input from both parties as to where the next date should be. If a woman is really feeling you then she would call you because you were on her mind. So just leave the first date open ended by saying I really enjoyed your company tonight. If you want to get together again just give me a call. We can do something you would like to do. So if she doesn't call, you don't have to bother wasting your time or money on 2 more dates. Good Luck.
 
  Reply With Quote
Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #22  July 16,2009, 12:40am
Icouldwriteab…'s Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2009

Denver, Colorado

Posts: 540

See profile

pj33 wrote :
I have been on e-harmony for about 3 years.

When I first joined, I met somebody within the first few weeks. We dated for about 7 months. I honestly thought she was the one, but later she broke up with me.

Since then, I had several relationships that lasted anywhere between 3-4 months. However, since last year I have been in a rut.

I've been out with about 25 girls since last fall and just can't get past the 3rd or 4th date. I either get blown off or just told that they don't feel the chemistry isn't there.

I don't know if I come on too strong. I don't think I do. I usually go out on the first date make plans for a second date during our date for 3-4 days later. And then after the 2nd date give them a call 2 days after our second date to make plans for a 3rd date.

The first date usually consists of drinks or dinner & drinks. The second date is usually dinner and a movie or just dinner.

Am I doing something wrong?
No right or wrong here. Sounds reasonable what you are doing. My only suggestion would be to perhaps not plan the second date during the first unless she definitely expresses interest in you. If she is not "feeling it" she might feel put on the spot. After the date, call her or email saying you had a good time and would like to go out with her again. But of course, some people might disagree with this.
But ultimately, I don't think this is a problem.

It is just a matter of timing and the luck of the draw. I was on Eharmony for a few months and I had very little interest, went off for a while, came back on 3-4 months later and all of sudden I have tons of interest. Go figure!

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, especially if nothing you are doing has changed, just be patient.
 
  Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #23  July 16,2009, 6:25am
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 2,847

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
...and I would never go to a movie.


Frog, it's just not like you to give up this easily. I'm still looking for something about Obama's "stimulus package" playing at a cinema near you. Be patient and give me some time to work my Moon Magic, please! And have a beer while you are waiting, just to ease the nerves of eager anticipation...
[FONT=Arial]
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #24  July 16,2009, 9:00am
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

I am going to agree with others that you aren't doing anything "wrong". Rejection is a very difficult thing to overcome and when it seems every single woman you meet is rejecting you it brings up the fear that maybe perhaps you are doing something wrong or that there is something with you. I assure you, most of us, or at least I know I have thought the same thing plenty of times before.

So here is the fact of the matter, first off think of the number of women and women on this earth. Statistically speaking the Earth's population is estimated at 6.771 billion, and while not accurate at all if we split that in half we would have an 3,385,500,000 women on earth. Completely incorrect I am not using accurate figures here just trying to prove a point. So how unique of a guy are you? I maybe over estimating to think that 500,000 of those women would be compatible with me. Maybe it is closer to 100,000. I have no scientific basis for my thoughts and figures (other than total world population which I pulled the most recent numbers of wikipedia). My point being, getting rejected by even 100 women is nothing to be worried about. The search shall continue and someone that fancies you as much as you fancy them will come along.
 
  Reply With Quote
foreverhis is offline foreverhis Post #25  July 16,2009, 12:02pm
foreverhis's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

Personally, it's hard for me to eat in front of someone I don't know, so going out to dinner is old, boring and uncomfortable. I would rather go to a concert in the park, walk and talk, go to a museum or something similar, go bowling.....something where we are actually doing something rather than trying to find things to talk about and keep food from sticking between our teeth.
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #26  July 16,2009, 12:19pm
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

foreverhis wrote :
Personally, it's hard for me to eat in front of someone I don't know, so going out to dinner is old, boring and uncomfortable. I would rather go to a concert in the park, walk and talk, go to a museum or something similar, go bowling.....something where we are actually doing something rather than trying to find things to talk about and keep food from sticking between our teeth.
...I thought I was the only person that felt like this!

I hate first dates that involve dining or sitting still. I much rather be involved in some sort of activity. That is better than trying to figure out how I look chewing...or as you say, worrying whether I have a piece of salad in my teeth! Yuck!!!!!!!!!....
 
  Reply With Quote
MizzS is offline MizzS Post #27  July 20,2009, 1:08pm
MizzS's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Ohio

Posts: 24

See profile

pj33 wrote :
I have been on e-harmony for about 3 years.

When I first joined, I met somebody within the first few weeks. We dated for about 7 months. I honestly thought she was the one, but later she broke up with me.

Since then, I had several relationships that lasted anywhere between 3-4 months. However, since last year I have been in a rut.

I've been out with about 25 girls since last fall and just can't get past the 3rd or 4th date. I either get blown off or just told that they don't feel the chemistry isn't there.

I don't know if I come on too strong. I don't think I do. I usually go out on the first date make plans for a second date during our date for 3-4 days later. And then after the 2nd date give them a call 2 days after our second date to make plans for a 3rd date.

The first date usually consists of drinks or dinner & drinks. The second date is usually dinner and a movie or just dinner.

Am I doing something wrong?

Er well it could be that during the first date you are instantly making plans for the next, for some reason I think of speed dating lol Let things happen naturally ^_^ some women may find it intimidating that you making all of these plans.
 
  Reply With Quote
Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #28  July 20,2009, 2:11pm
Benevolence32's Avatar

is not looking forward to shorter days and colder weather

Enthusiast

Joined: Feb 2009

Pittsburgh

Posts: 587

See profile

Uhm I don't know if you're being serious or not but you're doing much better than the majority of guys that use online dating. Serial dater status is better than no dates at all. Have to agree with BikerBeagle these types of threads prove to me that online dating only works for a very small percentage of men. The same guys are basically recycled over and over by women it seems like.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 3 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« It's been a crazy relationship, Should I let it continue? | Relationships | needing advice »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:34am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0