Re-writing your ex's profile


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meanminicooper is online now meanminicooper Post #11  July 13,2009, 4:45pm
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HI, guys, my name is ____

First off, what im looking for is a genuine guy who will always stand up and do the right thing. That way I can be the biggest B**** in the world and you wont leave me.

In my free time, I like to manipulate, coerce you into spending as much time with me as possible. At right around the 3 month mark is when im comfortable enough with a guy for intimacy. Of course, maybe 3 weeks after that I'll claim that im pregnant to get you to try and marry me. Safe sex or not, accidents happen boys! Im never one to go to the doctor, except for my bogus pregnancy, so I expect to be taken care of, loans to be taken out, the whole 9 yards. Remember, you're a single child who would never abandon a kid of his own, so i'll use this against you to string you along for a few more months. That is, until things are obvious that im not pregnant but you'll be so relieved to be out of the relationship that you wont care how many thousands of dollars you spent as a broke college kid taking care of me.

Hit me up!
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #12  July 13,2009, 4:51pm
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this isnt about revenge or actually altering their profiles and blowing up their cars (well except for john&andy's friend) . good for her by the way! we dont live in wooden shacks with shrines dedicated to them and voodoo dolls hanging everywhere. it's all in good humor! dont take it so seriously guys!
 
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oostitch is offline oostitch Post #13  July 13,2009, 4:53pm
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meanminicooper wrote :
HI, guys, my name is ____

First off, what im looking for is a genuine guy who will always stand up and do the right thing. That way I can be the biggest B**** in the world and you wont leave me.

In my free time, I like to manipulate, coerce you into spending as much time with me as possible. At right around the 3 month mark is when im comfortable enough with a guy for intimacy. Of course, maybe 3 weeks after that I'll claim that im pregnant to get you to try and marry me. Safe sex or not, accidents happen boys! Im never one to go to the doctor, except for my bogus pregnancy, so I expect to be taken care of, loans to be taken out, the whole 9 yards. Remember, you're a single child who would never abandon a kid of his own, so i'll use this against you to string you along for a few more months. That is, until things are obvious that im not pregnant but you'll be so relieved to be out of the relationship that you wont care how many thousands of dollars you spent as a broke college kid taking care of me.

Hit me up!

oh she's a keeper!
 
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EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #14  July 13,2009, 5:04pm
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Am I the only one who, after reading the title of thread, thought that it was about helping an ex with his profile so that he could quickly get a new girlfriend so that I don't feel as guilty for breaking his heart?
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #15  July 13,2009, 9:35pm
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EMTZ wrote :
Am I the only one who, after reading the title of thread, thought that it was about helping an ex with his profile so that he could quickly get a new girlfriend so that I don't feel as guilty for breaking his heart?



Yes! You are the only one.
 
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SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #16  July 14,2009, 6:35am
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Actually in some ways rewriting it (for your own amusement and therapy) could be good. In that you can write the profile on a scrap of paper to vent some spleen and then move on with life while tossing it in the bin. Sure sure in a perfect world we'd love that ass who did such and such and give them a big warm hug and wish them well. But lets not forget the value of your own process of letting go which to be frank is a little less "fluff bunny" than what we are supposed to do.

If I were to hypothetically rewrite my ex's profile it would go something like this....

Freedom seeking guy who is guaranteed to do whatever random thought enters his head in the moment. As your boyfriend I'll promise to utterly forget who you are unless I am in the same room with you, which by the way, won't be very often. You can expect late nights in which I just don't come home without any form of communication whatsoever. But that's ok because then you get to be all moody and annoyed the next day after you've been up all night wondering if I'm lying in a hospital half dead or just out on a bender.

When I am at home I'll spend the entire time either outside smoking pot or glued to the TV until 3am. At which time I will come to bed and wake you up just a few hours before your alarm goes off and you have to go to work. You can enjoy the randomness of life with me being more unreliable than a russian car and the days we do spend together will only be "special" if you go out of your way to do exactly what I want to do and pay for it.

His profile actually looked more like this....

Honest caring guy who loves the outdoors.
 
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