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JDavid JDavid is offline
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JDavid - - - Quality Antique - - - Divorce is Final

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If you could have an outstanding relationship for a year (or two or five) KNOWING that it must end then, would you take it?

Would you prefer to have a more mediocre relationship (or none at all) than to have a great but shorter-term relationship?
- July 13th, 2009, 09:49 am
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BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is offline
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No ...and no.

Life is short and you don't get the time back.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:07 am
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j0hn8andy j0hn8andy is offline
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j0hn8andy .....a Flash in the Pan.....is Gone with the Wind.....

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Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
In Memoriam

My husband died last year. I wish I could do the whole thing over again, even knowing how it would end. I hope we are Soul Mates and I hope to see him again someday.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:16 am
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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That and $5.50 will get you a subway ride, no free rides!
Why invest your time and resource into an intense relationship
that is doomed to fail?

There are more productive uses for ones time, like playing on the EH's Board and meeting a few very intense lady's that make a romance worth while or a least fun.

Harvey7.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:40 am
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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JDavid wrote :
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If you could have an outstanding relationship for a year (or two or five) KNOWING that it must end then, would you take it?

Would you prefer to have a more mediocre relationship (or none at all) than to have a great but shorter-term relationship?
I wouldn't take a mediocre relationship, even if I knew it would last for life. Would I take a great relationship that would only last for a year or two? Probably. I have no guarantee that I'll even live longer than that.

However, to me this being a 'great relationship' means the ending won't be due to incompatability, fighting etc. Perhaps something like the woman I dated for a few months last year. She was much younger than me, from Germany and just beginning a Ph.D. program. Three strikes that made it unlikely that anything permanent could develop. Still, I spent some wonderful time with her and we parted wishing each other the best for our respective futures.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:58 am
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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j0hn8andy wrote :
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
In Memoriam

My husband died last year. I wish I could do the whole thing over again, even knowing how it would end. I hope we are Soul Mates and I hope to see him again someday.
Good for you.

There's the story of the man who was being chased by a tiger and fell over the edge of a cliff. He was able to grasp a small plant on the cliffside to keep from falling. He looked down and saw another tiger on the ground below him. As the roots of the plant began pulling out of the cliffside he spotted a small wild strawberry growing next to him. With his free hand he reached over, picked and ate. 'What a wonderful strawberry' he thought to himself.

'How it might end' isn't a reason for not loving. Ultimately, we all know how it's going to end.
- July 13th, 2009, 11:04 am
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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jayjay wrote :
Good for you.

There's the story of the man who was being chased by a tiger and fell over the edge of a cliff. He was able to grasp a small plant on the cliffside to keep from falling. He looked down and saw another tiger on the ground below him. As the roots of the plant began pulling out of the cliffside he spotted a small wild strawberry growing next to him. With his free hand he reached over, picked and ate. 'What a wonderful strawberry' he thought to himself.

'How it might end' isn't a reason for not loving. Ultimately, we all know how it's going to end.
So, there is a true romantic buried somewhere deep inside those books after all?... Sweet and almost Lunar
- July 13th, 2009, 11:27 am
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lostdude lostdude is offline
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I went through this, in a way. Got into a relationship with a girl who we both knew was only around for 5 months. It was a fantastic relationship. We were both hesitant to get deep "into" it because of the looming deadline, but eventually fell for each other. Sadly, the relationship ended very very badly. Very badly.

So I guess it'll have to depend on the ending, as well? Because even now, after 5 months, I still get bits of pain and hurt here and there. Is absolute bliss worth the great suffering that follows?
- July 13th, 2009, 12:02 pm
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Icouldwriteabook Icouldwriteabook is offline
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I did and it worked at the time. I met someone about 9 months after I was divorced (6 months after I started dating again) and we got into a comfortable relationship seeing each other once or twice a week. He was an admitted commitment-phobe as far as marriage goes but faithful and a one person at a time dater. It was surprising to him we actually lasted a year. However, at the time it worked well for me because I liked having someone steady for doing activities with and for other basic needs but I was definitely not ready to look for a marriage partner.
So again, it worked well at the time and we are actually still friends. But I wouldn't want to do that now because it has been long enough now that I am looking for a deeper committment.
- July 13th, 2009, 12:49 pm
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OverAnalyzer OverAnalyzer is offline
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Yes. And I'll take the 5 year plan. Why would you pass up years of guaranteed bliss?

No to mediocrity.
- July 13th, 2009, 04:12 pm
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